A Match Made in Bed (Spinster Heiresses #2)(53)

“I supposed she felt much like you do on the subject of living in Cornwall.”

Cassandra experienced a jab of guilt. “I don’t know that I would leave you over the decision.”

He shrugged. “We each make our choices.” His offhandedness worried her. That was not the sort of person Soren was. It meant his wife’s leaving had impacted him deeply.

“Did anyone say anything when you courted a native woman?” she wondered.

“Native women and soldiers being together was common,” Soren said. “Mary was an interpreter at the fort. She was well respected.” Then gently he added, “They said something when I married her. That is the reason I left the military.”

He’d given up his commission for his wife. He wanted Cassandra to move to Cornwall, but he had forfeited his career for this Mary. “Your parents couldn’t have known about the marriage.”

“They didn’t. I saw no reason to tell them. I was living my life my way.”

“But now you are back.”

He didn’t say anything.

A jealousy that Cassandra had not thought herself capable of feeling welled up inside her. “Did you love her?”

Love. Once again that word had popped up in her head.

He didn’t flinch in answering. “At one time. I did very much so.”

That was not what Cassandra had wanted to hear. “You must have been devastated when she was murdered.”

The sorrow deepened on his face. “The marriage wasn’t good, Cassandra. We were at odds. I learned that it was possible for two people to fall out of love and for reasons that could have been predicted. She left me to return to her people.”

“Why would she do that?”

“First, the Lenape are a matriarchal tribe that is broken into clans. The husband lives with the wife’s clan. Considering her work at the fort, I thought she had accepted white society. Once we married, well, it was all different. She wished to return to what was familiar and made sense to her. I had no desire to play Lenape brave.”

“So, you let her leave with your son?”

“I didn’t know about my child. She kept that from me. Maybe she didn’t realize she was pregnant when she left. Or perhaps she was done with me. Thinking back, I realize now she was very lonely. I wasn’t around. I had to earn money for us since I’d given up the military. I was setting up my businesses. I was busy and very involved in other things. To be honest, I expected her to see to her own needs. One day I came home and she was gone.”

“Did you look for her?”

There was a beat of silence. “I knew where she was.”

“But did you go to her? Did you talk to her?”

“Cassandra, she’d made up her mind, but, yes, I did go. She refused to see me. Her clan supported her. I was angry when I left. And I didn’t hear of her again until after she died. Her brother delivered Logan to me. He was almost four years old and had no idea who I was.”

“And you’d known nothing of his existence until then?” Soren was so resourceful, it was hard for her to believe he’d been completely unaware.

His gray eyes met hers. “I knew nothing until then. Mary wanted him raised in her culture and she knew rightly that I would be set against it. I would want him safe with me. And to be honest—”

“Ah, there is that word, ‘honest.’ ”

He ignored her. “—in those days, I wouldn’t have known what I’d do with a baby or have the time to care for him. Did I love her? Aye, at one time. I gave her all I had. But love can’t thrive when two people become set against each other. In fact, I’m fortunate that her brother brought Logan to me. As I said, the Lenape are matriarchal and the other women in the clan could have decided to raise him. But there was no one left after the attack, and he knew where he was going would be dangerous. It was really only by chance that I learned of Logan’s existence or that he was given to me.”

“How did that meeting go?”

“Miserable. Logan had lost his mother, his grandmother, his aunts. And he found himself with me.”

“What did you think when you met him?”

Soren’s expression changed. His eyes softened and there was a gleam of pride. “He’s quick. Smart. And strong and healthy. The moment I lifted him into my arms, I felt a connection with him that was stronger than any bond I’ve known.” He looked as if he couldn’t believe how fortunate he was and once again, Cassandra felt the pangs of envy.

“I’d never intended to return to England,” Soren confessed. “I liked Canada and I didn’t like my father so much. Or Cornwall.”

“I can empathize with the feeling.”

He nodded acknowledgment “However, holding Logan changed everything for me. I found I wanted Pentreath for him. Over there, I watched fathers mentor their sons. They helped them become good men and that is what I want to do for Logan. He deserves his birthright, but I also want him to be worthy of it.”

“So, you’d always meant to return to Pentreath after we married because your son is there.”

Soren sat back. Somberly he admitted, “I hoped we could work out something that would meet both of our needs. Back when we thought there would be money,” he added.

“And you don’t think you were being a bit deceptive with me?” she wondered. “You knew I didn’t hear you speak of a son yesterday.”