A Kiss of Shadow (Court of Starlight and Darkness #2)(50)

After the party, I led Sia back to our quarters. The whiskey in my veins dulled my senses slightly, and it was an unfamiliar feeling. I no longer indulged to excess, but tonight, I had. I wasn’t fully drunk—I hadn’t been in centuries—but I was slightly woozy.

There had just been so much damned emotion tonight. I’d wanted to dull it. To dull all my senses. Just looking at Sia made emotion course through me. It was more than I could bear.

Our sleeping chamber was silent as we entered. Though I didn’t look at her, I could feel her presence. She lit up any room she entered, impossible to ignore.

When I shut the door behind us, she turned to face me and asked, “What’s going on between us?”

I faced her, the sight of her beauty nearly sending me to my knees. “What do you mean?”

“You felt it, too. At the ceremony. Tonight. I could see it in your eyes.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“We’re pretending we hate each other. That we’re doing this just for the good of the kingdom. And yet, I think you care more than you’re willing to admit.” Her voice rang with a passion that I rarely heard from her.

I shook my head. “You have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“I do!” She glared at me, the emotion in her eyes almost too much to bear. “I’m not an idiot. I saw how you looked at me tonight. Like you care. And I want you to admit it.”

“You’re angry.” Of course I cared. But I couldn’t say it. That was a step too far. It was the step that admitted I wanted this. It wasn’t acceptable to care. Inadvisable, but unavoidable and unacceptable.

“You’re angry, and you’ve had too much to drink,” I said.

She growled at me.

It was a bastard move on my part, but I wanted to drive her away. I had to. If she took so much as one step toward me, I’d shatter.

“Of course I’m angry,” she said. “This is my life, you know. It sucked before, but it was mine. And it’s been diverted to a cause that could get me killed.”

“I—”

She raised a hand to stop me. “That’s not the point of this. I’ve made peace with the risk. But you and me…there’s something happening here, and I don’t want to pretend anymore. There’s too much unknown. I want to know this. I want to know you.”

She was right. Too right.

The ceremony tonight had been more than I’d anticipated. What I’d felt had been more than I’d anticipated.

“If you’re feeling something, I want to know it,” she insisted. “I need to.”

Her words were sobering me up quickly. And whatever drunkenness I thought she might have been suffering from had cleared from her eyes. “You need to stay focused on the witch with deathly magic.”

“I can multitask. And I’m not going to sit on the sidelines anymore and wait for life to happen to me. I’m taking control.” She strode to me and gripped my jacket, staring up at my face and demanding. “Tell me the truth, damn it.”

“I—“ I rubbed my face, my head still a bit cloudy and my soul battered. “I’ve never met anyone like you.”

“And you’ve met a lot of women.”

“Many. Until I met you, I was always fine being alone. But now that doesn’t fit quite so comfortably. And I...”

“You what?”

“I care, damn it.” As the words left my mouth, I couldn’t believe that I was admitting to them. It felt like the last straw. Like I was welcoming in the madness that had plagued me before.

I would be caught up in her. Distracted from my duties.

And yet, I couldn’t help myself.

“I care for you, damn it.” I cupped her face and pulled her to me, kissing her with all the passion in my soul.

She threw her arms around me and kissed me back, her lips sweet against my own.

I’d wanted this forever.

Wanted her forever, since before I had even known she existed. She was the one who had haunted my dreams, the one I’d sought when I’d pursued so many other women.

And now I had her. For tonight, at least.

I gripped her hips and hoisted her up so that she could wrap her legs around my waist. The press of her heat against my hardness made a groan rise in my throat, and I shifted her against me as I walked to the bed.

Pleasure shot through me. When I reached the bed, I sat her on the edge and stepped back, trying to catch my breath.

I had to stay in control.

At least partially.

But I couldn’t just walk away from her right now. It would take more strength than I had.

“Lore.” She reached up to me, and I took her hand, then dropped to my knees in front of her.

With a soft kiss to her lips, I laid her back on the bed and pushed her dress up her thighs. Now that I was so close to what I wanted, my hands shook on the delicate silver fabric.

“I’ve wanted this for so long.” My voice was a growl, and I couldn’t drag my gaze from her pale thighs as the rising fabric revealed them.

The sight made my heart pound and my hardness ache. I wanted to bury myself inside her.

But first, I wanted to taste.

I looked up at her, catching sight of her wide eyes and flushed cheeks. “Lore?”