A Kiss of Shadow (Court of Starlight and Darkness #2)(33)

The threat was about to bubble over into something real, but I was ready for it to be here now.

I needed to put my energy toward something, and violence suited me best at the moment.

“Don’t you look in a tizzy?” The voice of the queen of the Mountain Fae broke through my distraction.

I was in the dining car, I realized. She was here once more, a different slice of cake in front of her.

I frowned. “You eat too much sugar.”

She laughed. “That’s what you want to talk about?”

I scowled, but she was right. It’d been a poor choice. My mind was a mess.

She inspected me, her lips pursed. The dining car was still empty, she the only occupant.

“Sit.” She nodded to the seat across from her.

“No.”

“Sit. You owe me that much.”

Did I? “You can’t possibly still be angry with me.”

“Honestly? No. It’s been centuries since you left me. And we were never close, despite the fact that we were bound to be wed. You were a libertine who slept with anyone you met. I didn’t expect much of you. But I am angry that you broke the engagement without so much as a word to me about it. That was a disrespect I could not tolerate.”

I dragged a hand through my hair. “That was wrong of me.”

“You were a different man, then.” She sighed. “I’ve heard tales of how you’ve changed, but to see it for myself…”

I raised a brow, wondering idly if she would continue. I was still reeling inside from what had happened with Sia, and I wanted the distraction of her calling me a cold bastard. We hadn’t seen each other since we’d parted centuries ago. During that time, she’d sent an emissary to High Court Palace, so I’d never had to see her on my visits there.

“Well, they were correct.” She tapped her fork on the table. “You’ve turned to ice.”

“Better than what I was before.”

She shrugged. “I liked you well enough.”

“You heard what happened to my people. The attack that occurred under my watch. The dozens of lives lost. That was all because of me. Because of my selfishness and distraction.”

“I’d say you’re too hard on yourself, but I’d be the same as you.”

“And Sia threatens that.” I couldn’t believe I was telling her this.

“Because you care for her.” She grinned, tilting her head back to look at the ceiling. “Oh, I love it. The ice king melts for his new queen. It’s like a novel.”

“It’s like a nightmare.” I dragged a hand through my hair again. “She will distract me the way I was distracted before.”

“You’re stronger than you realize. Just because you had a wild past doesn’t mean you’ll do the same thing now. You have better self-control.”

Laughable. I could tell her about the curse I’d bought from the witch. It was the entire reason I seemed to have self-control. In truth, I was weaker than I’d ever been. Tonight was proof of that.

I rose.

“You deserve to be happy, Lore. And she’s the one who can do that for you.”

“Deserve?” Regret and anger tightened in my throat. “I don’t deserve anything of the sort.”

“You can’t help other people if you don’t help yourself, Lore. This misery will eat you alive until there’s nothing left of you. And if there’s nothing left of you, you can’t protect your people.”

“Goodbye, my lady.” I turned and strode away, unable to get her words out of my head.

Miserable?

She thought me miserable?

Why did it even matter? I was doing my duty. Keeping my kingdom safe. That was all that mattered.





Sia



* * *



The rest of the night passed in a blur. After Lore had stormed out of his sleeping compartment, I’d snuck back into my own and locked the door behind me.

Not that he’d be coming into my room tonight. No way in hell he’d be visiting me—not after the way he’d stormed out.

I slept fitfully, catching only a few minutes of sleep between waking to memories of his mouth on my skin. It was like he followed me into my dreams, his kisses keeping my mind tethered to him.

By the time the sun rose, I was ready for morning Not that I’d gotten any decent sleep. Far from it. But I was grateful I could get out of bed and find a distraction. I couldn’t bear to close my eyes again and see him. It would just make my heart race and my skin heat all over again.

I was acting like a damned teenager.

I pinched the bridge of my nose, unable to believe what we’d done.

It had been incredible.

And stupid.

I couldn’t afford to become distracted like that. I was literally fighting for my life. The last thing I needed was to be mooning over a man.

A knock sounded on my door, and I jerked.

Was it Lore?

My heart raced.

No way.

“Sia?” Meria’s voice sounded through the door. “You there?”

“Yeah. Come in.”

Meria stepped into the room, followed by Eve. They’d both dressed in fresh clothes. The outfits were similar to those they’d worn during the competition—tight trousers, billowy shirts, and trim vests—and Eve noticed me looking her up and down.