A Guide to Being Just Friends(31)
“It’s true, man. You’re fine around people you know or a no-nonsense business meeting. These kids are neither of those scenarios. They see through you, call you out on your garbage. Hell, it’s almost refreshing.” He laughed. “For real, relax. They just need to know you’re a real person invested in what you’re teaching them.”
His chest tightened. He was a real person. He just liked to do things right. He wasn’t great on the fly and kids were the very definition. Weren’t they? He didn’t spend a lot of time around them.
“Dude. Breathe,” Noah said, laughing. He didn’t get it. Noah didn’t have the ability to feel embarrassment. Chris and Wes had seen to that growing up. He grinned, his chest loosening with the memories of how they’d ganged up on their middle brother.
“I got it. I’ll remove the stick.”
Noah laughed, clapped him on the back. “Who are you and what have you done with my brother? Maybe this is Hailey’s influence. You’re sure you’re not into her?”
He was into her—just not in the way Noah was suggesting. He was excited to see her tonight, to hear her funny stories about customers. He wanted to know more about her book club idea and since he suspected she was a closet reading fanatic, he wanted to ask her about some of his favorites, see if they had any in common.
Though he wouldn’t admit it to his brother—ever—he’d sketched a few funny drawings for their “guide.” He knew she’d get a kick out of it. He knew he’d notice if her hair smelled like strawberries and the way her eyes crinkled in the corners when she laughed, but having pre-set the boundaries made this easier. Didn’t matter if he was into her. They were friends. He could look forward to being with her, being himself, and not messing it up.
“Earth to Wes.” Noah nudged his shoulder.
“She’s fantastic. But honestly, it’s nice to have a friend of my own, one that didn’t come to me through you and Chris. Despite being the oldest, I never realized how infrequently I formed my own circles. I always had you guys, and Ari. I never actively looked for friends because we never needed to. Sometimes I felt like we were always surrounded by people. Hailey’s different. I like her a lot. I don’t want to wreck that with even the possibility of a relationship or even sex. I’d hate to lose what we’re building.”
Noah leaned against the table. “What if it was more than sex?”
Wes thought about that, seriously considered it as he had many times already, and realized there was another perk to this friendship. “It can’t be. Hailey is rebuilding her life and her business. She’s chasing and fulfilling her own dreams. She doesn’t need a lover.” His throat went dry at the thought of her with another man. He cleared his throat. “What I mean is, I think we both need this friendship. We like each other but we’re not long-term compatible, even if either of us was looking for that. The best part is, we already know it.” His brother would mock the guide for sure. “We want the same thing.”
“Sometimes we don’t know who we are until we find the right person. The one that helps us see ourselves in a way we never did before.”
Wes stopped what he was doing, walked closer to his brother. This was important. “You have no idea, given the frame of reference we have for happy relationships, how much it matters to me that you’ve found Grace. That Chris has Everly. But that’s not what I want. I like Hailey. She’s my friend. Do me a favor and tone down the joking and shit when she’s around. I feel like she could be in our lives for a long time.” Something he couldn’t remember thinking about any other woman he’d known.
Noah studied him for a minute. Wes nearly broke eye contact but finally his brother spoke. “As opposed to whatever woman you happen to date next? You’re so sure that’ll have an expiry date?”
“As sure as you are of Grace.”
The look of disappointment and sadness in Noah’s expression was too much for Wes. His brother didn’t get it. He should be rejoicing for Wes.
* * *
Wes expected to find teaching the concepts easy. He knew he’d be able to break down the components of coding for the novice learner. He was prepared to ask questions and engage in conversation.
What he didn’t expect was how the enthusiasm of the students would transfer. For sixty minutes, he was immersed in language he loved: app development, pair programming, source codes. These kids knew a lot more than he’d assumed. A couple of them were complete novices but the more advanced learners were able to show what they knew by helping them out.
“Can we make an actual video game?” Dimitri asked.
Wes felt like he’d downed a Red Bull. “Absolutely. I think each of you should decide on a goal, whether you want to create an app, get better at the language, map out a game, whatever you want, and then we can do some whole-group learning at the beginning of each class and break off into smaller groups after.”
“Have you ever made any apps?” one of the older teens, Joelle, asked.
“Several, actually.” The income from those and some other software he’d developed had given him the financial padding to take a step away from his father.
“Can we look them up?”
He wrote some of them on the whiteboard, thinking about the one he’d created for Chris’s girlfriend. A misunderstanding had landed Everly in a radio-station-hosted, Bachelorette-style dating pool. Wes had created EverLove, an app to help her narrow down prospective suitors. In the end, it’d been a moot point since she and his brother had fallen for each other during that time.