A Different Blue(143)

of his shirt, twisting the fabric, desperately trying not to lose my mind.

“I've tried to give it time. I've tried to give you time. And then I saw you tonight. You were

all dressed up, ready for a night out, impossibly beautiful, confident, strong. And I thought I

had lost you once and for all.”

[page]I could feel his heart pounding in his chest, and mine raced to join the cadence. And then

his mouth closed over mine again. Not hesitant, not whispering. And I too felt lost. Completely.

It was a kiss too long denied. Asking, opening, claiming. And the room spun as I clung to him.

My hands moved over the length of his back, pulling him into me, needing more.

His wrapped his arms around me and lifted me up and into him, opening his mouth on mine,

demanding entrance. He tasted like black licorice and snowflakes. Simultaneously forbidden and

familiar. Hot and cold. Sinful and safe.

His mouth left mine to rain kisses on my eyelids, my cheeks, my throat, and his hands gripped my

hips desperately, crushing the fabric in his hands as if he resented the barrier. I felt like I

was riding a wave, mounting a crest, and I couldn't get close enough to him. Then he lifted me,

wrapping my legs around his waist, as he claimed my mouth again, swallowing my name as he spoke

against my lips.

“Blue, I need you so much. I want you so much.”

And his face rose in my mind . . . the way he had looked as he told me he wouldn't follow me

down “that road.” I broke away, panting, my legs still locked around him, his arms braced

around my body.

“Do you want me, Wilson? Do you want me? Or do you love me?” The words rushed out of me, and

Wilson's eyes were heavy with passion, his lips a breath away, seeking me again, as if he hadn't

registered the question. I pulled back further, denying myself, denying him. His brow furrowed

and he nipped at my lips, pulling my head toward him, demanding more. I resisted, even as my

body trembled with need. I unlocked my legs from his waist, letting my feet find the floor. I

smoothed my skirt down, grateful that my legs held me. If I didn't stop now, I wouldn't have the

strength to say no. And tonight I had to say no.

Wilson looked dazed, as if all reason had left him.

“Blue?”

“I saw it when you looked at me tonight. You were disgusted. You looked at me like I was . . .

cheap.” I took a deep breath. “But I'm not that girl anymore. And so you need to go. Please.”

My voice wasn't strong, but it was firm. Wilson seemed stunned. He ran his hand along the back

of his neck, confusion and remorse warring in his eyes.

I moved beyond him and opened the door. I waited next to it, my heart in my throat.

“Please, Wilson,” I entreated. He moved as if he didn't know what else to do, stepping slowly

into the foyer beyond my door like a man who has just suffered a terrible shock. I closed the

door behind him and waited, my ear pressed against it, until I heard his footsteps move away.

They tread heavily upon the stairs. I locked the door and knelt, retrieving the picture that had

fallen to the floor. Jimmy's face stared back at me, but it was my own that drew me in. A little

girl with long braids, longer than Jimmy's but plaited just like his were. I was missing my two

front teeth, and I smiled gleefully, mugging for the camera in all my toothless glory. Jimmy

didn't smile, but his arm was wrapped around me, and I clung to it as naturally as he held me to