A Different Blue(109)

“Can that be passed on? Does it hide in our genes?”

“Luv. You'll have to forgive me. I don't have a clue what you're talking about.” Tiffa sat up

and reached for the lamp.

“No! Please leave it off. It's easier to talk in the dark,” I pleaded needing the buffer of a

shadowy room between us.

Tiffa dropped her hand but stayed upright. I could feel that she was looking at me, letting her

eyes adjust in the dark. I stayed turned on my side, looking at the wall, the weight of my

stomach supported by the thick mattress.

“You are going to adopt this baby. You say you don't care if it's a girl or a boy. You don't

care if the baby is brown-skinned or light. And I believe you. But what if the baby is . . . the

offspring of a weak, selfish, evil person?”

“You are none of those things.”

I thought for a moment. “Not all the time. But sometimes I'm weak. Sometimes I'm selfish. I

don't think I'm evil . . . but I'm not necessarily good, either.”

“You are much stronger than I am. You are incredibly selfless. And I don't think evil resides

with strong and selfless,” Tiffa said softly. “I don't think it works that way.”

“But my mother . . . what she did was evil.”

“Leaving you with a stranger?”

“Yes. And her blood runs in this baby's veins. Are you willing to take that chance?”

“Absolutely. But I don't think it's much of a risk, luv. Jack has diabetes. Did you know that?

It's pretty manageable. I never considered not having a child just because the child might

suffer with the same illness. I had the most ghastly buck teeth growing up. Thankfully, braces

made me a ravishing beauty.” There was laughter in Tiffa's voice. “But what if there were no

such thing, and my child was doomed with horse teeth?”

“None of those things compare,” I protested, needing her to understand. Tiffa plopped down on

the bed behind me and began to smooth my hair. She would be a fabulous mother. It was all I

could do not to curl into her and let her soothe me. But of course I didn't. I lay stiffly,

trying not to be so susceptible to a gentle hand. She stroked my hair as she spoke.

“We don't know what kind of life your mother had. We don't know what her reasons were. But look

at you. You're brilliant! And that's enough for me, Blue. What if my mother had chosen not to

adopt Darcy? She never met his birth mother or father. She knew nothing about them but their

names. But she loved Darcy, maybe best of all, and he was a complete unknown. His father could

have been a serial killer, for all we knew.”

“Wilson was adopted?” I was so stunned, the words came out like a shriek. Tiffa's soothing

ministrations faltered along with my heart. She lay down on the bed beside me, curling up

against my back, and resumed stroking my hair.

“Yes! Didn't he tell you? Mum and Daddy tried to have another child for years. They adopted

Darcy when he was only days old. It was arranged through our church.”

“No . . . he didn't tell me.” My voice cracked, and I cleared my throat to disguise my dismay.

[page]“He looked up his parents when he turned eighteen. His mother was young, like you are,

when she got pregnant. She is married now with several children. She was happy to see him, happy