A Curve in the Road(75)

“I’m so sorry,” I say to Zack, “but I didn’t really understand why your father did what he did, and maybe I still don’t—not completely. Either way, I had no answers for you, no explanations to offer. And I wanted to protect you. I didn’t want to cause you pain or confuse you, and the last thing I wanted was for you to grow up hating your dad. That would have been wrong because he loved you more than anything.”

“I loved him too,” Zack shakily replies. “I thought he was the best father in the world, which is why I can’t believe he could have done that.”

“I can’t believe it either,” I say. “Even after a year, but here we are.” Winston rolls to his side, and I stroke his belly. “Please, just remember that he was a good father, and for that I’ll always love him. I hope you can still love him too.”

Zack is silent for a moment. “I don’t know how you’re able to forgive him.”

“I’m not sure that I have,” I explain. “Not completely, because sometimes I still feel angry, but then I remember that he gave me you, and I’m glad I married him. I have no regrets about that.”

It’s a monstrous statement, and it feels good to say it. To truly believe it.

Zack says nothing, so I find myself quoting Nathan as I attempt to explain how I’ve managed to get through the past year. “Time helps, Zack. I promise it will get easier. The anger fades. So does the pain.”

I hear Zack sniffing. “What made you decide to tell me this now, after all this time? Why not just keep it secret forever? Part of me wishes you had.”

“Believe me, I have struggled with that over the past year. I didn’t like hiding something from you. It felt dishonest.” I clear my throat. “But things change. And now, there’s a very important reason why you need to know. I just learned about it yesterday.”

“What is it?”

As Winston lies beside me, I stroke his silky coat and gather my resolve. “The woman your father was seeing . . . she . . .” My heart races, but I force myself to continue. “She had a baby. A son. Which means you have a half brother.”

There is nothing but silence on the other end of the line, and my chest feels like it’s going to explode.

“I have a brother?” Zack finally asks. “A baby brother?”

“Yes,” I reply. “I saw a picture of him, and he looks exactly like you when you were a baby.”

Zack pauses, and I’m not sure what he’s going to say. When he finally speaks, it’s in a breathless, husky voice. “I can’t believe it. I have a brother. It’s unbelievable.”

“A miracle, really.”

Zack laughs softly. “A miracle.” I listen to the sound of him breathing. “Can I meet him?”

I close my eyes and feel a tremendous wave of relief to have shared the truth with him at last. Somehow, I know that he’s going to be okay. We both are. There are no more secrets between us.

And I feel absolutely certain—without a doubt—that I did the right thing today. I feel as if I’ve finally emerged from the darkness into the light.

After I end the call with Zack, I sit for a moment, basking in a welcome sense of calm. I relish it for a little while. Then I pick up my phone again and call Nathan.

“Hi,” I say. “I don’t suppose you’re free right now.”

“I can be,” he replies. “I’m all done in the clinic for the day, just tidying up a few files, and my parents are making supper for the girls. What’s up?”

“Would you like to meet me on the wharf? I have something I’d love to share with you. It’s about Zack and that impossible conversation I’ve been avoiding all year.”

Nathan knows everything about it, of course. He’s been my sounding board since the beginning. “Wow. I can be there in fifteen minutes.”

“Great. I’ll bring Winston. You can bring Dorothy and the girls if you want to.”

“No, I think I’ll just bring myself tonight, if it’s all the same to you.”

Secretly, I’m pleased to hear it because there’s so much to talk about, and on top of that, I’ve been fantasizing about being alone with Nathan ever since that sweet, teasing kiss on my mother’s porch last week.

“Okay. I’ll see you on the boardwalk. I’ll be waiting in front of the museum.”

“I’m on my way.”

I see Nathan from a distance, walking toward me in faded blue jeans, a black turtleneck sweater, and a brown leather jacket. The setting sun illuminates his face, and anticipation bubbles up inside me, because I’ve been imagining this moment and so many other scenarios with the two of us together. Now, here we are.

“Hi,” he says as he reaches me and bends to pat Winston on the head. “Hi to you too, big guy. How’s it going?”

Winston wags his tail, and Nathan straightens to meet my gaze. I feel a rush of excitement in my blood.

“Thanks for coming. Should we walk?” I gesture toward the other end of the boardwalk.

“Sure.”

We start off at a leisurely pace together, side by side, while Winston trots out front.

“I hope you didn’t mind my calling,” I say, “but I felt so good about my conversation with Zack I couldn’t keep it in.”