A Curve in the Road(66)

“I love you,” he says.

“I love you too.”

“Bye.” He finally turns to go but glances over his shoulder to wave at me one last time before he disappears around the corner.

As soon as he’s gone, I burst into tears.

Maureen hugs me and rubs my back. “We’re going to be okay.”

“Yes.” I pull myself together and wipe my tears. “But now what do we do?”

She takes a deep breath and exhales. “We go home, look at their bedrooms, and cry our eyes out. Then we marvel at the fact that our houses are going to be so much easier to keep clean from now on.”

I laugh, but my eyes fill with fresh tears at the same time. Maureen and I hug each other again. Then we turn away and head back to her car.

When I arrive home a half hour later, I walk into my quiet house and don’t care that it’s going to be easier to keep clean. I would prefer the mess if it meant Zack could still be here, filling my world with laughter and conversation.

Maureen, you’re lucky. At least you have a husband at home and another child still in junior high school. My house is truly an empty nest now. It’s just Winston and me.

Just as I think that, Winston lumbers over to where I am standing in the kitchen, feeling lost and unsure about what to do with myself. He sits down and pants and stares at me with that intense look I know so well.

“You need to go outside, don’t you?”

He snaps his mouth shut, then opens it again.

“How about a walk?”

He rises to his feet and trots to the back door, tail wagging.

I follow and grab his leash, then catch myself smiling because it’s nice to know that someone very special still needs me. And it’s a beautiful day for a walk.





CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO

October

It’s a blissful, blue-skied Saturday. A day off. I’m wearing a long woolly sweater over a turtleneck and jeans, and I’m enjoying the autumn sunshine as I take Winston for another long walk around our neighborhood.

My medications have been a godsend, and I’ve had no problems staying awake in my new position at a large established family practice here in Halifax, where somehow, by word of mouth, I’ve become the most recommended family doctor in the city for patients with sleep disorders. I’ve also been working closely with the neurologists who run the sleep disorder clinic where I was initially tested for narcolepsy.

All this has led to other adventures as well. In the past four months, I’ve spoken about sleep disorders at Harvard, Stanford, and a few conferences, and I’ve appeared on three television news programs as an expert on the topic. I’m now an unofficial spokesperson for a narcolepsy organization, offering hope and inspiration to those who find themselves challenged with the affliction.

Professionally speaking, I feel as if I’ve found my true calling. The field of sleep medicine has become my passion, and it’s very exciting because it’s constantly evolving.

When it comes to my personal life, there are still moments of loneliness in that big house all alone, but I do my best to take life one day at a time. My sister, Carla, calls often, and sometimes we talk for hours about our jobs, our kids, and the world in general. Maureen and I meet regularly for coffee, and we see movies with Gwen and Kate, and I’m always socializing with people from work. As for Nathan, I’ve not heard from him since our last texts, and I’m glad about that. I know I did the right thing when I cut things off between us, because I was in no position to get close to anyone.

Yet I think of him still.

My cell phone rings. I adjust Winston’s leash in my hand, pause on the sidewalk, and reach into my sweater pocket to answer it. The call display tells me it’s Zack, and I step lightly, skipping over a patch of freshly fallen leaves.

“Hi,” I say, smiling in the autumn sunshine.

“I just got your message,” Zack says. “What’s up with Gram?”

“Oh, it’s nothing serious,” I assure him as I extend the length of Winston’s leash so that he can sniff the base of a telephone pole. “She has to have cataract surgery next Monday. I’m going to take a couple of weeks off and go stay with her because she won’t be able to drive for a while.”

“Poor Gram.” He pauses. “But wait a second. That’s right before Thanksgiving.”

“Yes, and that’s what I was calling about. I’ll be there for the long weekend. Are you still planning to fly home?”

“Of course. I already have my ticket. And we usually spend Thanksgiving at Gram’s house anyway.” He sounds confused.

“We do, so I’ll pick you up at the airport, and we’ll go straight to Lunenburg, if that’s okay.”

“It’s fine. Whatever works.”

As I stand there watching Winston lift his leg to pee on the pole, I remind myself that my son is no longer the little boy I used to cuddle at night when we read bedtime stories together. He’s a man now, living on his own. I’m proud of him and pleased that he’s independent, even though I miss him every day.

Winston sits down on the sidewalk, waiting patiently to continue our walk.

“Mom . . . ,” Zack says, hesitantly. “How are you doing? You’re not too lonely, I hope.”

I press my lips together and shut my eyes. “I’m great, Zack. Honestly. I’ve been incredibly busy with work, and I’m loving every minute of it. The change in focus has been good for me. And Winston keeps me company at home. So please don’t worry. Everything’s perfect.”