A Country Affair(92)

“Luke, please, you don’t love me—not the way you should.”

“Oh, and what do you know about that? Obviously nothing.”

“I know you keep saying you want to take care of me.”

“That’s so wrong?”

“Yes! A woman needs more. She needs to be an equal. She—”

“My love and my life are all I’ve got to offer you, Kate,” he broke in. “It’s a take-it-or-leave-it proposition.”

“That’s not fair,” she said. “You make it sound as though I’m going to live my life alone if I don’t marry you within the next ten minutes.”

Slowly he turned to face her. His eyes were piercing and as dark as she’d ever seen them. “Fine. You’ve made your choice. I’m not going to stand here arguing with you. It’s over, Kate. This is the last time we’ll talk about marriage.”

She tried to say something, but couldn’t think coherently. Even if she’d been able to work out her thoughts and give them voice, she doubted Luke was in any mood to listen. He avoided looking at her as he stalked out of the house.

A fire was blazing in the fireplace and Kate stretched out on the nearby sofa, intending to mull over Luke’s words. But her eyes felt as heavy as her heart, and almost as soon as she laid her head on the pillow, she was asleep.

Someone working in the kitchen stirred Kate to wakefulness, and when she glanced at her watch she was shocked to see that she’d slept for almost two hours.

Her heart soared when she thought it must be Luke. He’d been so angry with her earlier, although she supposed his anxiety about finding her in the snowstorm explained his attitude. She hoped they could clear the air.

But it wasn’t Luke. Instead, Rorie peered into the living room, her eyes concerned.

“I hope you don’t mind. Luke let me in.”

“You’re always welcome here, Rorie, you know that.”

“Bill Schmidt called with an incredible story about you being lost in the storm. I could hardly believe it. Clay drove me over as soon as he could, but to be honest I don’t know who was worse off—you or Luke.”

At the mention of his name, Kate lowered her gaze to the multicolored quilt spread across her lap. Idly she smoothed the wrinkles, trying not to think about Luke.

“How are you feeling?”

“I’m okay. I just have a headache.”

“A bad one from the look of you. I’ve never seen you this pale.”

Kate’s hands twisted the edge of the homemade quilt. “Luke was furious with me for going into town—I found an apartment, Rorie. He said it was over between us.” She began to cry. “He said he’d be glad when I was gone and that he’d...never bother me again.” By the time Kate had finished, her voice was reduced to a hoarse whisper.

“I see,” Rorie murmured.

“I don’t even recognize Luke anymore. We used to be able to talk to each other and joke together, but lately we can’t seem to discuss anything in a rational manner. I’ve tried, Rorie, I really have, but Luke makes everything so difficult.”

“Men have a habit of doing that.”

“I wanted to tell Luke about the night I had dinner with you and Clay and—” She stopped abruptly when she realized what she’d almost said.

“What about it?” Rorie coaxed.

“It’s just that I’d dreaded the evening because I was afraid of being with Clay again. I’m sorry, I don’t want to upset you, Rorie, but I loved Clay for a long time, and getting over him was much harder than I thought it would be. Until the night we were all together.” The words came rushing from her. “I saw Clay with you and I assumed I’d feel all this pain, but instead I felt completely free. You’re both so happy, and I knew, then and there, that I never loved Clay the way you do. True, I adored him for years, but it was more of an adolescent infatuation. Clay was part of my youth. When I understood all these things about myself, all these changes, I felt such hope, such excitement.”

“Oh, Kate, I’m so pleased to hear that.” A shy smile dented Rorie’s cheeks.

“I wanted to explain all this to Luke, but I never got the chance, and now it’s all so much worse. I don’t know if we’ll ever be able to talk to each other again.”

“Of course you will.”

“But he sounded so angry.”

“I’m sure that’s because of his concern for your safety.”

“I can’t talk to him,” Kate repeated sadly. “At least not yet and maybe not ever...”

“Yes, you will, and it’ll be sooner than you think,” Rorie said. “You won’t be able to break off all those years of friendship, and neither will he. He’ll be around in a day or two, ready to apologize for being so harsh. Just you wait and see.”

Kate shook her head. “You make it all seem so easy.”

“Trust me, I know it isn’t. When I think back to the way things went between Clay and me, I empathize all the more with what you’re going through now.”

Kate remembered the dark days following Clay’s visit to California. Neither Rorie nor Clay had ever told her what happened. Clay had gone to San Francisco, intending to bring Rorie back with him, and instead had returned alone.