A Country Affair(48)

“I learned that loving people means placing their happiness before your own. That’s the way you love Clay, and it’s the way he loves you.” Kate squared her shoulders and inhaled a quavery breath.

“Kate, please, this isn’t necessary.”

“Yes, it is, because what I’ve got to say next is the hardest part. I need to ask your forgiveness for that terrible letter I wrote after you left Nightingale. I don’t have any excuse except that I was insane with jealousy.”

“Letter? You wrote me a terrible letter?” The only one Rorie had received was the chatty note that had told her about Mary’s prize-winning ribbon and made mention of the upcoming wedding.

“I used a subtle form of viciousness,” Kate replied, her voice filled with self-contempt.

Rorie discounted the possibility that Kate could ever be malicious. “The only letter I got from you wasn’t the least bit terrible.”

Kate lowered her eyes to her hands, neatly folded on the table. Her grip tightened until Rorie was sure her nails would cut her palms.

“I lied in that letter,” Kate continued. “When I told you that Clay wouldn’t have time for you while he was at the horse show, I was trying to imply that you didn’t mean anything to him anymore. I wanted you to think you’d slipped from his mind when nothing could have been further from the truth.”

“Don’t feel bad about it. I’m not so sure I wouldn’t have done the same thing.”

“No, Rorie, you wouldn’t have. That letter was an underhand attempt to hold on to Clay... I was losing him more and more each day and I thought... I hoped that if you believed we were going to be married in October, then... Oh, I don’t know, my thinking was so warped and desperate.”

“Your emotions were running high at the time.” Rorie’s had been, too; she understood Kate’s pain because she’d been in so much pain herself.

“But I was pretending to be your friend when in reality I almost hated you.” Kate paused, her shoulders shaking with emotion. “That was the crazy part. I couldn’t help liking you and wanting to be your friend, and at the same time I was eaten alive with jealousy and selfish resentment.”

“It’s not in you to hate anyone, Kate.”

“I... I didn’t think it was, either, but I was wrong. I can be a terrible person, Rorie. Facing up to that hasn’t been easy.” She took a deep, shuddering breath.

“Then...a few days after I mailed that letter to you, Clay came over to the house wanting to talk. Almost immediately I realized I’d lost him. Nothing I could say or do would change the way he felt about you. I said some awful things to Clay that night.... He’s forgiven me, but I need your forgiveness, too.”

“Oh, Kate, of course, but it isn’t necessary. I understand. I truly do.”

“Thank you,” she murmured, dabbing her eyes with the crumpled tissue. “Now I’ve got that off my chest, I feel a whole lot better.”

“But if Clay had broken your engagement when he came to San Francisco, why didn’t he say anything to me?”

Kate shrugged. “I don’t know what happened while he was gone, but he hasn’t been himself since. He never has been a talkative person, but he seemed to draw even further into himself when he came back. He’s working himself into an early grave, everyone says. Mary’s concerned about him—we all are. Mary said if you didn’t come soon, she was going after you herself.”

“Mary said that?” The housekeeper had been the very person who’d convinced Rorie she was doing the right thing by getting out of Clay’s life.

“Well, are you going to him? Or are you planning to stick around here and listen to me blubber all day? If you give me any more time,” she said, forcing a laugh, “I’ll manage to make an even bigger fool of myself than I already have.” Kate stood abruptly, pushing back the kitchen chair. Her arms were folded around her waist, her eyes bright with tears.

“Kate,” Rorie murmured, “you are a dear, dear friend. I owe you more than it’s possible to repay.”

“The only thing you owe me is one godchild—and about fifty years of happiness with Clay Franklin. Now get out of here before I start weeping in earnest.”

Kate opened the kitchen door and Rorie gave her an impulsive hug before hurrying out.

Luke Rivers was standing in the yard, apparently waiting for her. When she came out of the house he sauntered over to her car and held open the driver’s door. “Did everything go all right with Kate?”

Rorie nodded.

“Well,” he said soberly, “there may be more rough waters ahead for her. She doesn’t know it yet, but I’m buying out the Circle L.” Then he smiled, his eyes crinkling. “She’s going to be fine, though. I’ll make sure of that.” He extended his hand, gripping hers in a firm handshake. “Let me be the first to welcome you to our community.”

“Thank you.”

He touched the rim of his hat in farewell, then glanced toward the house. “I think I’ll go inside and see how Kate’s doing.”

Rorie’s gaze skipped from the foreman to the house and then back again. “You do that.” If Luke Rivers had anything to say about it, Kate wouldn’t be suffering from a broken heart for long. Rorie had suspected Luke was in love with Kate. But, like her, he was caught in a trap, unable to reveal his feelings. Perhaps now Kate’s eyes would be opened—Rorie fervently hoped so.