A Country Affair(38)

Still, Rorie couldn’t help comparing them with another pair of male hands, darkly tanned from hours in the sun and roughly callused. Gentle hands. Working hands.

“I meant what I said about you needing me,” Dan murmured, watching her closely. “It’s time we got serious, Rorie. Time we made some important decisions about our future.”

When she least expected it, he slid closer on the bench beside her. With his so smooth fingers, he cupped her face, his thumbs stroking her flushed cheeks. “I did a lot of thinking while you were away.”

She covered his fingers with her own, praying for an easier way to say what she must. They’d been seeing each other for months and she hated to hurt him, but it would be even crueler to lead him on. When they’d started dating, Dan had been looking for a casual relationship. He’d recently been divorced and wasn’t ready for a new emotional commitment.

“Oh, Dan, I think I know what you’re going to say. Please don’t.”

He paused, searching her face intently. “What do you mean?”

“I did some thinking while I was away, too, and I realized that although I’ll always treasure your friendship, we can’t ever be more than friends.”

His dark eyes ignited with resistance. “What happened to you on this vacation, Rorie? You left, and two weeks later you returned a completely different woman.”

“You’re exaggerating,” Rorie objected weakly. She knew she was different, from the inside out.

“You’ve hardly said a word to me about your trip,” Dan complained, in a tone that suggested he felt hurt by her reticence. “All you’ve said is that the car broke down in the Oregon outback and you were stuck on some farm for days until a part could be delivered. You don’t blame me for that, do you? I had no idea there was anything wrong with the water pump.”

She laughed at his description of Nightingale as the outback.

“You completely missed the writers’ conference, didn’t you?”

“That couldn’t be helped, but I enjoyed the rest of my vacation. Victoria was like stepping into a small piece of England,” she said, in an effort to divert his attention from the time she’d spent on the Franklin farm. Victoria had been lovely, but unfortunately she hadn’t been in the proper mood to appreciate its special beauty.

“You didn’t so much as mail me a postcard.”

“I know,” she said with a twinge of guilt.

“I was lonesome without you,” Dan said slowly, running his hand over her hair. “Nothing felt right with you gone.”

Rorie knew it had taken a lot for him to admit that, and it made what she had to tell him all the more difficult.

“Dan, please,” she said, breaking away from him and standing. “I... I don’t love you.”

“But we’re friends.”

“Of course.”

He seemed both pleased and relieved by that. “Good friends?” he coaxed.

Rorie nodded, wondering where this was leading.

“Then there’s really no problem, is there?” he asked, his voice gaining enthusiasm. “You went away, and I realized how much I love you, and you came back deciding you value my friendship. That, at least, is a beginning.”

“Dan, honestly!”

“Well, isn’t it?”

“Our relationship isn’t going anywhere,” she told him, desperate to clarify the issue. Dan was a good person and he deserved someone who was crazy in love with him. The way she was with Clay.

To Rorie’s surprise, Dan drew her forward and kissed her. Startled, she stood placidly in his arms, feeling his warm mouth move over hers. She experienced no feeling, no excitement, nothing. Kissing Dan held all the appeal of drinking flat soda.

Frustrated, he tried to deepen the kiss.

Rorie braced her hands against his chest and tried to pull herself free. He released her immediately, then stepped back, frowning. “Okay, okay, we’ve got our work cut out for us. But the electricity will come, in time.”

Somehow Rorie doubted that.

Dan dropped her off in front of her apartment. “Can I see you soon?” he asked, his hands clenching the steering wheel. He didn’t look at her but stared straight ahead as though he feared her answer.

Rorie hesitated. “I’m not going to fall in love with you, Dan, and I don’t want to take advantage of your feelings. I think it’d be best if you started seeing someone else.”

He appeared to consider that for an awkward moment. “But the decision should be mine, shouldn’t it?”

“Yes, but—”

“Then leave everything to me, and stop worrying. If I choose to waste my time on you, that’s my problem, not yours. I think you’re going to change your mind, Rorie. Because I love you enough for both of us.”

“Oh, Dan.” Her shoulders sagged with defeat. He hadn’t believed a single word she’d said.

“Now don’t look so depressed. How about a movie on Sunday? It’s been a while since we’ve done that.”

Exhausted, she shook her head. “Dan, no.”

“I insist, so stop arguing.”

She didn’t have the energy to argue. “All right,” she murmured. He’d soon learn she meant what she’d said. “All right.”