A Cosmic Kind of Love(21)

I wondered what that was exactly.

“But I can admit to feeling pissed at him for three things.” She held up a finger. “One, he treats my job with no respect. He asks me to plan his girlfriend’s bratty daughter’s birthday party for free and acts hurt when I tell him I’m snowed under with work. No respect for my time or how stressful my job is. Two.” She held up a second finger, and I saw pain flicker in her gaze. I sucked in a breath, holding my phone closer to my face. “He never even showed up at my sixteenth-birthday party. And I don’t care if I sound like a whining five-year-old when I say this, but I resent that he’s spending all this time with this kid who isn’t even his. I don’t care about the fancy house or the fancy clothes that she’s getting that I never got, I’ve never cared about that—that’s my mom’s gig . . . I care that every time I asked him to spend time with me growing up, I got a kiss on the head and an ‘I’m sorry, Cupcake, Daddy’s gotta work, but we’ll do something together later.’ Did later come? Did it like hell.” She glowered at the screen. “And now I have to give up time I don’t have to plan this party for a girl who is the most spoiled little shit I’ve ever encountered. The last time I had dinner with them, she was rude to me about my appearance, my job, my boyfriend at the time, and she monopolized most of the dinner, begging her mom for fifty bucks to go shopping with her friends the next day. I am not exaggerating when I say she repeated the word ‘please’ for five minutes straight. It felt longer. And her mom caved. I would have shoved the fifty bucks in her mouth.”

I grinned, imagining it.

“That’s not true.” Hallie threw up her arms in frustration. “That’s a lie! I would have given her the fifty bucks and probably three pairs of kitten socks.”

Snorting at the reminder of her escapades in the store, I nodded, even though she couldn’t see me.

“In fact, I said yes to planning Alison’s sixteenth. And here’s where three comes in.” She held up a third finger. “I’m also mad at my dad for putting me in this position when I told him it would put me in the middle with him and Mom. Did he care? No. And I just had to endure a twenty-minute phone call with my mother as she railed at me for my betrayal. It was so bad, I knew she was just hiding her hurt through anger, so I cried.” Her eyes glistened with emotion, and any amusement I felt died. “Upside: my new waterproof mascara might be the first mascara in history to actually be waterproof.”

“I’m sorry,” I whispered uselessly.

“I just . . .” She stared down at the desk now, and I felt frustrated I couldn’t see her expression. “I know she did this to herself, but it’s hard to see her in pain. Even harder when she won’t admit why she’s really hurting. Instead she goes out and does wild and stupid things and I . . . I’m just . . .” Hallie lifted her gaze, and I sucked in a breath as I watched her tears escape. “I’m tired. I’m so exhausted. I spent all this time trying to stop my dad from falling apart, and now he’s okay and it’s my mom who’s falling apart. And I know this is selfish . . . but it’s like no one cares that I’m falling apart too. Probably my own fault.” She swiped briskly at her tears and pasted a fake smile on her face. “George was right. I am a people pleaser. I mean, I knew that about myself, but I never realized just how much it is the reason I end up in ridiculous, uncomfortable situations that inevitably always end badly for me.”

“You shouldn’t be in this situation to begin with,” I said in exasperation, wishing I could talk to this woman. Her dad was an ass for forcing her into the middle. And I knew all about absentee fathers. It didn’t matter what age you were, parental neglect hurt, and it never really went away. Therapy had made it manageable for me, but his absence, his lack of affection, his closing the door on our Mexican heritage even as I gained fame as a Latino astronaut, had become a part of who I was.

Just like Hallie’s parents’ divorce had become a part of her.

I wanted to talk to her. To help her figure out why she felt the need to please people to the detriment of her own happiness.

Why was it that good people always ended up taking everyone’s crap?

I knew I’d listened to only a few videos of Hallie’s confessions, but I sensed she was a good person. If she wasn’t, she wouldn’t be so softhearted, and people wouldn’t have the chance to take advantage of her like they obviously were.

Suddenly motivated, I went into the house and found Darcy’s engagement-party invitation on the kitchen counter. “Dammit.” I’d missed the RSVP date. Her engagement party was in three weeks.

I considered my options and then, before I could stop myself, I found Darcy’s name on my phone.

    Hey, Darce, how are you? Look, I just got your invitation, so I’ve missed the RSVP. But if I’m still welcome, I’d love to be there.



As I waited for a reply, I emailed Kate and told her to keep making it seem like Hallie’s emails were bouncing but to also keep forwarding them to me. It was the sneakiest, most underhanded thing I’d ever done. But I didn’t want her video letters to stop.

Selfish but true.

My phone chimed.

    Chris, it’s so good to hear from you. We would love you at the party. Thank you. Your friendship means so much to me. I can’t wait to see you there. XO