ALL THE RAGE (writer: T.M. Frazier)(43)

Or even my scooter.

Never in my life had I ever been so careless. So reckless. Not just with my stuff, but with a job, with Nolan. I should have told Smoke I was done with the second I realized something was different about this job. That something was happening between us.

On top of hating being afraid, I also didn’t like feeling weak.

I leapt over a small concrete barrier and leaned up against the wall of a tall building. I slid down and sat on the sidewalk, my bare feet still getting soaked as the rain came in at an angle. I don’t know how far I made it from the cottage, but all I knew was that it wasn’t far enough.

It would never be far enough.

I’d messed up. How stupid was I to think I could control my nature around Nolan. It had already been weeks. A practical record for me to go for so long without having an episode. How long did I think I could keep it up?

It didn’t matter anymore. None of it did.

I wanted to feel relieved that it was all over, but I couldn’t get there. All I kept thinking about was the look on Nolan’s face when I took off. The hurt. The way he called my name as I ran from him.

The one person I ever had real feelings for. Real attraction toward.

A person who didn’t know me at all.

As much as I wished that the anxiety and the sweaty palms and the racing heart were because of a pool-caused, brain-eating amoeba. They weren’t.

It was him.

I pulled my legs up to my chest and dropped my head onto my knees. My hands shook and my teeth chattered so hard, I could hear them knocking together. My dress was soaked through, keeping the cold rain pressed against my skin like an ice pack.

It turned out that germs and thunderstorms weren’t the only things I was afraid of.

I was also afraid of Nolan Archer.

While one of my fears was still blowing around on the beach in front of me. The other rolled in riding an ATV, emerging from a curtain of rain only a few feet away. By the time I heard the engine over the storm and lifted my head off my legs, he was right in front of me. I reared up, sitting back on my knees. Nolan glared down at me with a downright evil look in his eyes that had me shaking for a completely different reason.

“What the f*ck did I tell you about being on your knees?” he seethed.

There was nowhere left to run.





CHAPTER EIGHTEEN




Rage


Nolan’s wet hair fell into his eyes. Water dripped from his chin onto the front of his black wife beater. His eyes were impossibly dark. His chest rose and fell hard with his quick breaths. His nostrils flared and he looked damn feral as he glared hatred down at me. The soaking wet cotton of his shirt clung to every inch of muscle on his broad chest down to his abs.

“Go back home, Nolan,” I said, looking back down to the ground. I let my shoulders fall. “I can’t do this anymore. For the first time in my life I’m tired. So f*cking tired.”

Nolan growled from deep within is throat. His fists clenching and unclenching. He cracked his knuckles. “If you’re tired, then I’ll take you to bed. But either way, we ARE doing this right now,” he said. “But first, you need to f*cking listen because I’m not going to say this again. Get off your f*cking knees.” Nolan reached down and picked me up off the floor by my waist, holding me tightly against his hard chest.

I pounded my closed fists against him, struggling to get out of his arms, but he didn’t move. “That’s not what I meant when I said I was tired. I don’t need sleep. I’m tired of pretending. I did it once. I can’t do it again,” I shouted. “I WON’T.”

Nolan cocked and eyebrow. “Who exactly is it that you’re pretending to be?”

I shook my head “I can’t tell you! I can’t tell you any of it,” I screamed, struggling to free myself and getting nowhere. “It will ruin everything I’ve built.” I pushed against his chest. Nolan released his hold long enough for me to dart around him and back out into the rain where a sudden clap of thunder boomed overhead, echoing between the buildings.

I dropped to my knees in the sand, ducking and covering my head with my hands.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Nolan said leaning over me, covering my body with his.

Protecting me.

I didn’t deserve his protection. If he really knew who I was and what I was there to do he wouldn’t want to protect me anymore. “No! It’s not okay!” I shouted, pushing him off of me and to my feet. “None of this is f*cking okay!”

Nolan grabbed my wrist. “Let me explain this to you,” he said, calmly. Too calmly. He reached out and cupped my cheek in his hand, rubbing over it with the pad of his thumb. “You and I are going to have a coming-to-Jesus moment. You’re gonna tell me your shit. I’m gonna tell you my shit, and then I’m going to f*ck you. Long and hard, until you don’t remember your real name or the one you chose to go by because you’ll be too busy screaming mine.”

My insides clenched tight and I mashed my lips tightly together, suppressing a moan. “What secrets do you have?” I asked, the air hitching in my lungs. I didn’t mean to lean into his touch, but that was exactly what I did, my eyes never leaving his as I rubbed my cheek along his open palm.

Nolan shook his head. His lip curved upward in a cocky smirk. “Oh no, Princess. Ladies first.”