《ur》(5)

"Hi, Wes," she said, sounding uncharacteristically unsure of herself. There was a long pause, long enough for Wesley to wonder if that was all there was going to be. In the background he heard hollow shouts and bouncing balls. She was in the gym, or had been when she left the message. "I've been thinking about us. Thinking that maybe we should try again. I miss you." And then, as if she had seen him rushing for the door: "But not yet. I need to think a little more about...what you said." A pause. "I was wrong to throw your book like that, but I was upset." Another pause, almost as long as the one after she'd said hi. "There's a pre-season tourney in Lexington this weekend. You know, the one they call the Bluegrass. It's a big deal. Maybe when I get back, we should talk. Please don't call me until then, because I've got to concentrate on the girls. Defense is terrible, and I've only got one girl who can actually shoot from the perimeter, and...I don't know, this is probably a big mistake."

"It's not," he told the answering machine. His heart was pumping. He was still leaning into the open refrigerator, feeling the cold wafting out and striking his face, which seemed too hot. "Believe me, it's not."

"I had lunch with Suzanne Montanari the other day, and she says you're carrying around one of those electronic reading thingies. To me that seemed...I don't know, like a sign that we should try again." She laughed, then screamed so loud that Wesley jumped. "Chase down that loose ball! You either run or you sit!" Then: "Sorry. I've got to go. Don't call me. I'll call you. One way or the other. After the Bluegrass. I'm sorry I've been dodging your calls, but...you hurt my feelings, Wes. Coaches have feelings too, you know. I - "

A beep interrupted her. The allotted message time had run out. Wesley uttered the word Norman Mailer's publishers had refused to let him use in The Naked and the Dead.

Then the second message started and she was back. "I guess English teachers also have feelings. Suzanne says we're not right for each other, she says we're too far apart in our interests, but...maybe there's a middle ground. I'm glad you got the reader. If it's a Kindle, I think you can also use it to go to the Internet. I...I need to think about this. Don't call me. I'm not quite ready. Goodbye."

Wesley got his beer. He was smiling. Then he thought of the spite that had been living in his heart for the last month and stopped. He went to the calendar on the wall, and wrote PRE-SEASON TOURNEY across Saturday and Sunday. He paused, then drew a line through the days of the work-week after, a line on which he wrote ELLEN???

With that done he sat down in his favorite chair, drank his beer, and tried to read 2666. It was a crazy book, but sort of interesting.

He wondered if it was available from the Kindle Store.

That evening, after replaying Ellen's messages for the third time, Wesley turned on his Dell and went to the Athletic Department website to check for details concerning the Bluegrass Pre-Season Invitational Tournament. He knew it would be a mistake to turn up there, and he had no intentions of doing so, but he did want to know who the Meerkats were playing, what their chances were, and when Ellen would be back.

It turned out there were eight teams, seven from Division Two and only one from Division Three: the Lady Meerkats of Moore. Wesley felt pride on Ellen's behalf when he saw that, and was once more ashamed of his spite...which she (lucky him!) knew nothing about. She actually seemed to think he had bought the Kindle as a way of sending her a message: Maybe you're right, and maybe I can change. Maybe we both can. He supposed that if things went well, he would in time come to convince himself that was indeed so.

On the website he saw that the team would leave for Lexington by bus at noon this coming Friday. They would practice at Rupp Arena that evening, and play their first game - against the Bulldogs of Truman State, Indiana - on Saturday morning. Because the tourney was double elimination, they wouldn't be starting back until Sunday evening no matter what. Which meant he wouldn't hear from her until the following Monday at the earliest.

It was going to be a long week.

"And," he told his computer (a good listener!), "she may decide against trying again, anyway. I have to be prepared for that."

Well, he could try. And he could also call that bitch Suzanne Montanari and tell her in no uncertain terms to stop campaigning against him. Why would she do that in the first place? She was a colleague, for God's sake!

Only if he did that, Suzanne might carry tales straight back to her friend (friend? who knew? who even suspected?) Ellen. It might be best to leave that aspect of things alone. Although the spite wasn't entirely out of his heart after all, it seemed. Now it was directed at Ms. Montanari.

"Never mind," he told his computer. "George Herbert was wrong. Living well isn't the best revenge; loving well is."

He started to turn off his computer, then remembered something Don Allman had said about Wesley's Kindle: I thought they only came in white. Certainly the Henderson kid's had been white, but - what was the saying? - one swallow didn't make a summer. After a few false starts (Google, full of information but essentially dumb as a post, lead him first to a discussion of whether or not the Kindle would ever be able to produce color images on its screen, a subject in which Wesley - as a book-reader - had absolutely zero interest), he thought to search for Kindle Fan Sites. He found one called The Kindle Kandle. At the top was a bizarre photo of a woman in Quaker garb reading her Kindle by candlelight. Or possibly kandlelight. Here he read several posts - complaints, mostly - about how the Kindle came in only one color, which one blogger called "plain old smudge-friendly white." Below it was a reply suggesting that if the complainer persisted in reading with dirty fingers, he could buy a custom sleeve for his Kindle. "In any color you like," she added. "Grow up and show some creativity!"