You Were Mine (Rosemary Beach #9)(29)

I stopped. There was no f*cking way that was Bethy. She wouldn’t be sucking him off. The clouds shifted, and the moon lit up my surroundings. Thad’s eyes lifted from the girl knelt between his legs to meet mine.

He put his finger over his mouth to silence me. He didn’t want an interruption. The girl had brown curly hair and had on one of the uniforms the servers were wearing. It wasn’t Bethy. Thank f*ck.

I turned and walked back toward the path leading to our huts.

“Oh, shit! Swallow the head. Yeah, God, yes!” Thad cried out.

I walked faster. I didn’t want to hear him get off. But if he didn’t keep it down, the whole damn island was going to hear him.

Bethy

I slipped my heels off and walked back out to curl up on the lounger and look out over the water. After watching Tripp dance with Charity for half a song, I’d realized I really needed to leave. It bothered me. Not that I should be surprised. I had been jealous of Della, too, back when I thought Tripp had a thing for her. I’d had Jace then, and I had no right to be jealous, but with Tripp, I didn’t seem to have control over my emotions.

Which sucked.

Being friends with him was my way of calling a truce. Finding a common ground so I could focus on living again instead of living with so much guilt and hate. Watching Tripp with other women, however, wasn’t part of the deal. Once this weekend was over, I would smile at Tripp when I saw him and keep it casual. No reason to be close friends.

Although I wondered if this meant he wouldn’t follow me to and from work anymore. Would I miss him sitting outside my apartment staring at my window for hours?

Yes.

That sucked, too. As much as I told myself I hated him for following me and sitting outside my apartment, the truth was, I was mad at myself for wanting it. For expecting it.

All these frustrated emotions weren’t things I’d had to deal with in my relationship with Jace. I’d been secure and safe. The drama and pent-up emotions I always experienced with Tripp had never been there with Jace. It had just been easier.

So what if Tripp was with Charity tonight? It wasn’t like I was ever going to be more than his friend. Seeing him made my heart speed up, and when he smiled, my stomach did a little fluttery thing. It always had. But that wasn’t enough. With Tripp came so much pain. I didn’t want that pain. I was closing the door on it and moving on.

“You checked out early.” Tripp’s voice startled me, and I jumped. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to scare you,” he said, smiling at my reaction.

He didn’t need to be here right now. Why wasn’t he with the blonde? Far away from me and my screwed-up thoughts. “It’s been a long day,” I replied simply.

His hands were in his pockets, and he had unbuttoned the top of his white shirt and rolled up the sleeves, revealing a peep of the tattoos that colored his arms. He stood with his legs slightly apart as he studied me. He was so dang tall.

“Want company?” he asked, looking at the space beside me.

No. Yes. Crap.

I shrugged instead of answering, since I didn’t have a definite answer.

He took that as an affirmative and sat down on the lounger. There was enough space for two, but it was a small space, which meant his long legs stretched out in front of him and touched mine. He crossed them at the ankles and leaned back.

“It’s peaceful here,” he said in a reverent tone.

I nodded. I wasn’t much for talking. Until yesterday, I had him in my “hate you” box. It had been all I allowed myself to feel where he was concerned. Now that I had taken him out, I didn’t know where to put him. Preferably in a box that didn’t allow me to care that he was with other females.

“Not now, because I realize I’m on really fragile ground with you, but one day, when you’re ready, I want a chance to explain what happened eight years ago.”

Not what I had expected him to say. I thought we were going to pretend that didn’t happen and move on with our lives. “What’s past is past. Let’s leave it where it belongs,” I said, not looking at him. My hands fisted firmly in my lap as a wave of emotions washed over me at once. The heartache, loss, fear, and intense love I’d pushed away. I didn’t want it.

“I’d agree with you if you actually knew the past. But you don’t. Just like there are things I don’t know. Things I want to know, even if it’s going to rip me open. I need to know, Bethy. For us both to find a way to heal, we have to deal with the past first.”

He was right. But I wasn’t ready. Our past was what would define the rest of my life. He had molded me into who I was. Our relationship had been the source of my greatest regrets and mistakes. “I’m not ready,” I said quietly.

He didn’t reply, and I almost expected him to get up and leave. But after a few moments, his hand moved over and covered mine. The warmth and size of it engulfed my hand, and I would be a liar if I said it wasn’t comforting. With that one small gesture, I was reminded that I wasn’t alone in this. He understood more than anyone else what I was dealing with.

The night grew darker, and the silence wrapped around us like a cocoon. A place where the past seemed distant and the future was unknown.

Tripp

Teaching a woman how to surf, when she was making it very clear that she wanted me in her bed, was uncomfortable. I knew I had my hands full with each flirty remark that came out of Charity’s mouth. The fact she’d been through a bad divorce and needed male attention made me feel sorry for her. But that didn’t mean I was going to be the guy to give her that attention. Not after Bethy had let me sit with her for more than an hour last night and hold her hand. We hadn’t talked much, but just being there with her had been enough for me. It was progress.