Wolf's Fall (Alpha Pack #6)(9)

That got his undivided attention again. Startled, he laid a hand over hers. “For God’s sake, why? I can’t imagine a woman as smart and beautiful as you having a reason to feel that way.”

She gave him a sad smile. “Thank you. But I had every reason, or so I believed at the time. I lost my mate over seventy years ago, and I almost didn’t survive his death.”

“Calla, I’m so sorry,” he said quietly. His tone and his expression were honest.

“Me, too. Stefano was a wonderful man, and we were very much in love. Do you know it’s rare for a vampire to find his or her true Bondmate?”

“I’ve heard that, yes. Is that what you were to each other?”

“We were,” she said. “Some vampires wait centuries and never find their other half. Many of them seek death when they can’t stand the loneliness any longer. After I came of age, I waited two hundred years before we found each other, which seemed forever but is actually not nearly as long as most of our kind. We had more than a hundred years together, and then just like that, he was gone.”

“Can you talk about what happened?”

The commander was so kind, and understanding. Tears pricked her eyes, and she sniffed. “One day, I’ll tell you more about him, and what happened. That’s not the point I’m making right now.”

“What is the point?” He was still holding her hand.

She considered her words carefully. “There have been many times in the past seventy years I’ve wanted to give up. Sometimes the struggle just seems so overwhelming, like I can’t take one more day. Some days I have to dig deep, and I survive for three reasons: First, Tarron would be devastated and I can’t leave him with that burden. He’d blame himself forever, perhaps even follow me, and I’m not going to let it happen. Second, the bastards who ruined my life would win, and that’s not acceptable, either.”

“Those are damned good reasons. And third?”

“There’s always a tiny bit of hope inside me that I’ll find happiness again,” she whispered. “What if I took myself out of the game too soon, when I only had to wait a little longer?”

“How come you make so much sense?” He tried a smile, but it didn’t quite materialize.

Reaching out, she touched his face. She loved the manly stubble against her fingers, his lips and cheekbones. Even more, she was drawn to the kind, genuine man behind the steely demeanor. “I can see how sad you are, Nick. How weary. Whatever Carter did to you, I suspect that’s not the only reason you’re feeling down.”

“You’re right. It’s not. It’s just the latest in a string of blows.”

“And yet you’re still here. Don’t you see? You don’t really want to give up, or you would have by now. You’re a bit lost, but you’re going to find your way.”

“You seem sure about that.”

“I am,” she said with growing confidence.

“And I thought I was the Seer.”

Then Nick gave her the first honest smile she’d seen since they had met, one that reached his eyes, and it completely transformed his face. Sweet gods, he’s beautiful! If she’d thought him handsome before, now she just about swallowed her tongue. Her long-neglected libido stretched and awakened, purring like the engine of a Ferrari ready to burn rubber.

With regret, she reined herself in. Neither of them was ready to move fast, were they?

“Would you like to go for a walk?” she asked.

“That’s the best idea I’ve heard all day.”

Nick lifted the right cuff of his jeans and sheathed his knife in the holster strapped to his ankle. Then he stood and helped her up, letting his hand remain wrapped around her smaller one for a moment before releasing it. She felt the loss of his touch immediately, and craved more. She would have to content herself with his nearness—for the time being.

“Tell me about your family,” he said. “I got the impression there’s only you and Tarron in the coven?”

“Yes, but we have a younger brother, Adrian, who lives in England. He doesn’t prefer coven life; he’s sort of a loner. He works for the Secret Service and loves it.”

Nick whistled in appreciation. “I’m impressed. Do they know he’s a vampire?”

“Only his handler and one close friend. Everyone else is discretionary, on an absolute need-to-know basis. He’s good at his job, a real badass.” She shot him a grin. “Sort of like someone else I know.”

“Not so sure about that.” But his expression was pleased. “Anyway, you sound very proud of Adrian.”

“I am. I was blessed with wonderful brothers.”

“What about your parents?”

“They died long ago, right after I reached puberty,” she said wistfully. “Even though there were so many dangers that existed back then from human hunters, rogue shifters, and other paranormal creatures, that’s not what got them. It was a simple accident. A log shifted and rolled from the hearth in the night and our little cottage went up in flames before we knew what was happening. They couldn’t get out.”

“I’m sorry.” Reaching out, he took her hand again, stroking her skin with his thumb.

A pang lanced her soul, but Nick’s hand wrapped around hers soothed it. “It’s all right. I’ve had centuries to make peace with their deaths. Tarron got me and Adrian out, and has been taking care of us ever since. Well, mostly me these days. Sometimes I think he takes his role of substitute father a bit too seriously,” she said to lighten the conversation.