Without Regret (Pyte/Sentinel #2)(127)

“That’s not fair, Izzy, especially since you don’t have a f**king clue about what you’re talking about,” he bit out evenly.

She snorted her disbelief. “I don’t? Really? I know that you’re too scared to live your own life. I know you’ve wrapped your entire life around your family. I know that you’re a coward and-“

“They f**king saved me!” he roared, getting into her face and backing her into a corner. “You have no f**king idea what it was like before they took me in. I had to watch every f**king move I made. You don’t know what it’s like to have to worry about your mother being too drunk or stoned to f**k some guy and instead offered him up your ass. You never had to worry that the man would take her up on it and that you wouldn’t be able to get to the knife you that you slept with quickly enough or run fast enough before he tried to take her up on the offer.”

“Oh, my god, Chris,” she mumbled, tears streaming down her face, but he didn’t f**king care anymore. She wanted to know why his family was his world then he would tell her.

“Then never got me, but that wasn’t from a lack of trying. You also don’t know what it’s like to be so f**king hungry that you’d do anything for food. You have no idea how f**king scared I was all the time or how it felt when I was kicked out onto the street because she found someone stupid enough to take her in.”

“My family took me in and saved my life, Isabella. They gave me a home, love and loyalty and I owe them everything! Everything!”

“Do you really think they want to see you alone and unhappy?” she asked, her voice breaking with emotion as she reached up to cup his face. “Do you?”

He shook his head stubbornly. “They need me to protect them.”

“No, they need you to be happy!” she cried, tightening her grip when he tried to pull away from her. “They love you so much, Chris, don’t you see that? They don’t want a bodyguard or a soldier or whatever the hell you’ve been for them. They want a son, a brother and a friend. They want you, Chris.”

“I’m good at taking care of them,” he bit out. “That’s what I do. I make sure they’re safe and happy and that makes me happy.”

“Bullshit!” she snapped, shocking him. “You’re not happy!”

He opened his mouth to argue, but what was there to say? He was glad his family was safe and he was happy for them, but he wasn’t happy. They were his family and he loved them, but they never filled a void inside of him, or gave him so much joy that he thought that he just might burst.

Only she did.

All she had to do was walk in a room and he felt better, lighter, freer and he’d been a damn fool to push that away. He was still scared to death that someone was going to hunt her down and try to take her away from him, but he knew that he wouldn’t let her go without a fight.

But as much as he loved his family he couldn’t let them make this decision without talking to them first. He had to make sure living with them was what they really wanted, because he couldn’t stomach the idea of putting them at risk. If they had doubts then he would take her away to keep them safe, but he couldn’t give up his mate and baby. He just couldn’t.

“You make me happy,” he said, looking down into her beautiful face.

“You don’t seem to be happy,” she said, sniffling.

“That’s because I’m an ass**le,” he said, smiling when she let out a little choked little laugh.

“That’s true,” she said with a watery smile that gave him hope.

“Can I have one more chance? Please,” he said, leaning down to press a kiss to the tip of her nose. “I love you, Munchkin and I want a chance to prove it to you and Jessica. Please, give me another chance.”

She leaned up and he met her halfway smiling when her belly forced him to bend lower and allowed her to kiss him. It was like a balm to his soul. He wrapped one arm around her as best as he could and placed his other hand on her stomach and gently rubbed.

When his little Munchkin hissed sharply against his lips he pulled back. “Did I hurt you?” he asked, reminding himself that he had to be gentle with her.

“No,” she said, shaking her head, but he noted she’d lost some of the color in her face, “the baby’s acting up.”

“Do you want me to go get Joshua?” he asked, reaching to push the call button to take them downstairs.

“No, I just need a hot bath to soak in,” she said, pressing her hands on either side of her stomach.

“Are you sure?” he asked, his finger hovering over the button.

With a small sigh of impatience she pushed his hand down and took it into both of hers.

“You didn’t give me an answer,” he pointed out.

“I need some time, Chris. As much as I love you I can’t risk you hurting the baby,” she said softly.

“I would never hurt her,” he said tightly, and he wouldn’t. He’d rather die than hurt her.

Izzy rolled her eyes. “I meant with your little PMS

problem.”

“I’m done with being an ass**le,” he said, praying that she’d give him a chance, because he had no idea what to do next. Beg? He could do that. Buy her chocolate? She seemed to like that. Let her beat the shit out of him? He had that coming.