Within These Walls (Within These Walls #1)(85)

Well, at least one of us is sure.

Dr. Westhall proceeded to go over the procedure in detail, outlining the length of time and what would happen during the operation. After questions were asked by all of us, he excused himself, and we were left to wait while they finished prepping for surgery.

The waiting was always the hardest part, staring at the closed door while wondering how much time was left until it opened back up.

An hour passed until a nurse finally came to retrieve me. After a teary good-bye with a long group hug, I was wheeled into the operating room and prepped. They scrubbed and shaved the fine hairs from my chest and set up my IV. A friendly motherly-looking nurse stroked my forehead as I looked up at the ceiling. Breathing through my mouth, I counted the tiles above my head.

“We’ll take care of you. Go to sleep now,” she whispered.

And the world faded to black.

White clouds hovered above me as my eyes fluttered open for a brief second. I heard loud whooping and sharp beeps. Everything felt distant and out of place, like I was listening to myself from another room with cotton balls shoved in my ears.

“She’s awake,” I heard my mother say. “Or at least she was.”

“She can’t see me,” a deep voice whispered.

“She won’t remember any of this. Just hold her hand, and talk to her. I’ll be outside.”

A soft click added to the mechanical noises, and I felt a deep warmth spread through my fingers.

“I miss you so much, angel.”

I know that voice.

“So much sometimes that it hurts to breathe.”

He shouldn’t be sad. I’m right here.

“I shouldn’t be here, but I couldn’t stay away, not today,” he whispered. “You did it, Lailah. You made it through, just like I knew you would. Now, you’ll have the life you deserve. It’s all I ever wanted for you.”

I tried to speak, but nothing came out—no words, no sound. I had nothing but good intentions. I wanted to tell him that it would be us, together, not just me. We would have the life we deserved.

“Please remember me when you look at the ocean waves or dip your toes in the water. Know that my love for you will never cease. It will only grow with each passing year. When you cross that last dream off your list, remember how we made pizza in the cafeteria kitchen and when we danced under the rain in your hospital shower. Remember late-night pudding debates, and when we made love for the first time, we felt our souls collide. Never forget the never-ending ways in which I love you and know that I will never stop fighting for you, no matter where I am or what I’m doing. I’ll always keep your wings in flight.”

A chair creaked, and as I tried to force my tired eyes open again, I felt gentle lips brush across my forehead.

“I love you, Lailah,” he said softly.

I drifted deeper out of consciousness, wondering if my dream Jude would be there when I woke up.

Thirty: Life’s a Ball—Jude

THE BAND FADED into the background as I stared into the dark recess of my glass. Hunched over a bar stool in the corner of the bar area, I tried to disappear from the rest of the crowd.

“I’ll have what he’s drinking,” a feminine voice said behind me.

I turned slowly and found Melody Scott. She was the reason I was sitting here and sulking over a glass of Coke, rather than hiding in my apartment like I did most weekends these days.

“You’d probably be better off ordering something else,” I replied politely. “This is just soda.”

She gave me a scrutinizing look and smiled. “There’s a story, but I’m quite certain you’re not going to share it.”

That’s for damn sure.

I turned back to the bar and watched as she slid onto the stool next to me. She continued to speak with the bartender, and her legs crossed in a slow, purposeful way as if she knew I was watching her. I turned back to my glass and checked my watch.

Fuck, have I really only been here for an hour?

“You know, you could try to be a bit happier, Jude. Look around, tonight is a huge success,” Melody commented, sweeping her hand in the direction of the grand ballroom.

I’d hired Melody less than three months ago, and she’d managed to do everything I’d asked of her. When I’d returned from UCLA, I’d been broken beyond relief.

Honestly, I still was.

Seeing Lailah in that recovery room, knowing the heart beating inside her chest was no longer destroying her, had made every minute we were apart worth it. As I’d held her hand and kissed her skin, I’d known she would have such a bright future ahead of her, and it killed me to know I wouldn’t see it. Leaving her for a second time had been like leaving my soul behind.

I’d returned even more confused.

I’d done what I needed to do. Lailah’s surgery had been paid for and completed, and she was going to recover.

Couldn’t I go back now? Take what was mine and still keep the family business afloat?

As I’d stepped into Cavanaugh Investments the morning after I’d returned from L.A., I’d found my brother waiting for me.

“Dad passed away last night,” he’d said. “The board meets in thirty minutes.”

That day, I’d lost my father, and my brother and I had inherited our legacy. Everything since then had been a blur of endless meetings along with helping my family mourn a man I barely remembered and negotiating all the paperwork that had come with it.