Within These Walls (Within These Walls #1)(58)

It also wasn’t a bad position for me. I might be choosing the good-guy route to wait until I could have her in a proper bed without wheels, but by no means was I a saint.

With her legs spread and her body pressed firmly against me, I wanted nothing more than to strip her down and forget every reason I had for waiting. Even with my raging hard-on and the heat of her core doing funny things to my brain, my conscience still remembered how much I wanted to love her for the first time in my own bed.

But that didn’t mean we couldn’t have a little fun until then.

“Lift up your shirt,” I whispered against her ear.

A small smirk tugged at the corner of her lips as she pulled the bottom of her shirt up halfway, exposing her smooth stomach.

“Higher.”

She did, lifting it up above her chest.

“No bra today,” I said as my eyes skimmed over her beautiful body.

“I wasn’t expecting company.”

“You should not expect company every day,” I replied with a wicked grin.

With my hands still firmly holding her up, I bent forward, moving my tongue over that perfectly shaped pink bud until it pebbled and hardened.

“Gorgeous,” I remarked before closing my mouth over her tight nipple.

Her head went back, and a long moan followed as her hands raked through my hair. I nipped, sucked, and kissed until she was writhing and moving against me so hard that I was about to blow.

“Jesus, Lailah, I’m going to lose it.”

A blush crept up her face as she looked at me. “You are?”

I gave her a dumbfounded look. “You’re practically dry-humping me while nearly topless. I’m about to die.”

Her head fell to my shoulder, and laughter soon followed. “You’re the one who put us in this position,” she reminded me.

“Yeah, I know,” I said, letting her legs slide to the floor. “I tend to do all sorts of stupid things when you’re around.”

Her mischievous eyes met mine. “I like when you do stupid things.”

“I can tell,” I replied with a grin as I stepped back from the wall. Air. I need air.

“Why don’t you come sit with me, and we can catch up?”

I nodded, and we took our positions on the bed, but this time, I sat up rather than snuggling down next to her. I could still taste her on my lips and feel her touch on my skin. If we had too much contact now, we’d be right where we had been three minutes ago. Right now, I wasn’t sure I would be able to stop again.

I’d taken things farther with Lailah in this room than I’d ever planned on, and every step we took over the line was one foot closer to taking away my promise to her.

“How have you been?” she asked, crossing her legs in front of her, Indian style.

“Miserable. Lonely. Spent a lot of time thinking about Megan and my past…and the life I was supposed to have with her. You were right, Lailah. I was punishing myself. I’d always told myself that I stayed because it was the only way to be close to her, but she’s not here. She hasn’t been here in three years.”

Lailah took my hand.

I continued, “I have though. I’ve been here for three years, lost and alone, holding on to a life I was never going to have. Then, you appeared and showed me what it was like to live. I remember looking into this room that first night and seeing you eating pudding off your finger. It was so simple, so human. I wanted that. You make me feel human again.”

“I don’t ever want you to think I’m trying to replace her,” she said. “For the last two days, I’ve been so afraid that you wouldn’t come back, and if you did, you would resent me.”

“I should have never stayed away,” I said, tugging on our joined hands.

She unfolded her legs and crawled onto my lap, and I let my arms fall around her.

“I know you aren’t trying to replace her. You’re too good-natured to even try. She was my first love, and my heart broke when I lost her. That was the end of my story,” I said, cupping her chin and tilting it upward. “Until you. My heart is mending because of you.”

When our lips met this time, our kiss was tender and slow. It was nothing like the passionate reunion from earlier. I savored each moment, pouring in every emotion and feeling I wasn’t yet ready to say. I knew now that until I forgave myself and said good-bye to my ghosts and the memories haunting me, I’d never be able to fully move ahead.

Lailah and I spent the afternoon making up for lost time. We talked and laughed over the selection of books Lailah’s mom had brought her.

“The Baby-Sitter’s Club?” I asked, holding up the worn paperback with the title written on blocks.

“My scatterbrained mom sometimes just picks up whatever she sees first at the library.”

“Make a list. I’ll pick up whatever you want.”

“Really?” she asked with a mixture of excitement and a little embarrassment.

“Why the blushing?” I asked, skimming my fingers across her cheeks.

She bit her lip before speaking. “There are some books I’ve been dying to get but they are a bit…”

“What?” I asked.

“Nothing. Just get me some crime novels.”

“Are these books you’re not asking for sexy books perhaps?” I asked, giving her a lopsided grin.