Wildest Dreams (Thunder Point #9)(79)

“Trust is not easy for me,” she said. “Like you, I had been abandoned. It makes no sense—my mother didn’t throw me away—she was very sick, and I was told she died. Many Vietnamese didn’t make it out of the boat lift alive. Many suffered severe illness as refugees. My mother was very, very young when I was born. It was never spoken of but it suggests she wasn’t a willing partner when I came along. Somewhere—the refugee camp, here in the US when she was living hand to mouth with other refugees—at some time she became pregnant and was only fifteen when I was born.”

It was hard for Blake to imagine. Lin Su was so small. A fifteen-year-old girl, so tiny, giving birth?

“My mother was sent to the US because her father was an American serviceman. I don’t know if she ever found him. I think not. But my adoptive parents had very few facts about my family ties. They scooped me up, three years old, dressed me like an American girl doll and raised me in a small mansion. And their friends always said, ‘Isn’t she cute?’ until I was eighteen. I don’t believe I was a beloved daughter. By the time I was ten I knew I was their project.”

“That would have been lonely,” he said.

“It was lonely, but I wasn’t sure how to cope. When I was eighteen and pregnant, nowhere to go, I went to a manicure shop owned by a Vietnamese family. They trained me, though I had to take classes and be licensed, but they gave me a way to make money. There were other immigrants who would share space. A little bit of the language came back to me and I was very grateful for them.” She turned and looked up at him. “But I didn’t belong there, either. If I were ever to look for my people, I wouldn’t know where to start.

“So there,” she said. “Now you know why I am stubborn and difficult. The only place I feel safe is on my own, with my son.”

“Does Charlie know all this? Your personal story? How complicated your life really was?”

“He knows I am adopted, that I was unmarried when he was born, that I am estranged from my adoptive family. That’s more than enough to weigh on a young boy’s mind.”

“I think he should know all about your journey. So he understands why you are who you are. So he doesn’t have questions. So he never feels that he doesn’t belong.”

“He belongs to me!” she said sternly. “I don’t want him to carry my burdens, too.”

“As long as you understand that secrets separate people from one another. Not telling important things creates distance.”

“I tell all the important things,” she said.

“I want you to feel safe with me,” he said.

“I’ve told you more than anyone,” she said. “I must feel safe with you or I couldn’t be here with you like this.”

Seventeen

The leaves continued to color and then quickly fall in the cold rain on the coast of Oregon. Through this brisk and then wet autumn, several couples seemed to be thriving. Blossoming. Lin Su and Blake were spending as much time together as they could wrestle, and it wasn’t easy. Many evenings Blake would join Winnie’s household for dinner just to be near Lin Su and Charlie. On those nights Lin Su wasn’t needed for the dinner and bedtime rituals, he would cook for Lin Su and Charlie. Or he might take them out to dinner. Or, less often, Charlie was content at home in the loft with his laptop, schoolwork and TV while Blake stole Lin Su away for a little time together.

They were the talk of the town. She was glowing in her newfound role as Blake’s girlfriend. And Blake seemed to be constantly smiling.

Other couples were also showing great happiness. Grace and Troy, for one. Grace now had dependable help in the flower shop and was slacking off on her workload a little bit, getting ready to have a baby girl. She always knew it would be a girl, and though Troy insisted it would be a son, he was thrilled.

Peyton was seen walking the town’s main street or across the beach whenever she could, determined to keep her weight under control so she could regain her figure. Her mother kept shipping fattening Basque food in Styrofoam coolers overnight; it was irresistible. Scott dove in whenever a shipment came, and while Peyton tried to resist, she wasn’t doing so well. For the Grants, it would be a boy. Scott was already lobbying for another child after this one to even up the family. The next, he proclaimed, would be a girl.

Iris and Seth Sileski were positively euphoric about the possibilities of their future family—they were having a girl. Sileskis didn’t get a lot of girls—there was only the one granddaughter before this one and Seth’s parents had brought three sons to the family. Seth and Iris had come together after years of separation—they’d known each other since childhood and now, reunited, in love and marriage, were adding to the local population.

Even some of the more mature couples in town were enjoying bliss just prior to the holidays. Carrie and Rawley were now officially living together in Carrie’s house. Ray Anne and Al couldn’t be happier or more settled, proud of Al’s foster sons and how well they were doing in school and in their home life. Sarah and Cooper were kicking around the idea of squeezing out one more baby before calling it quits on the reproductive front.

But one couple, long married, seemed to be on the skids. Norm Sileski came home from the service station one cold and rainy afternoon just a week before Thanksgiving and his wife, Gwen, said, “I want a divorce.”