Wildest Dreams (Fantasyland #1)(173)

I decided not to respond.

Frey knew why and grinned.

Then his grin faded, his hand slid to my neck and he said quietly, “We must speak of what I did to you.”

I shook my head. “No,” I replied. “All’s well that ends well and, thank God, it’s ended well so no, Frey, we never have to speak of it.”

“You say this, Finnie, because you still hold the pain of guilt, all that time you thought I was lost. That dark shadow runs deep in you, my wee one. I see it at times, drifting across your eyes when you look at me.”

“Frey –”

“But had we not been attacked in the middle of that episode, you would have been entitled to an explanation, wife, and you still are.”

I tried to waylay him by explaining, “I know that it’s, uh… law, um… here, in this world, for the man to decide if birth control is used or not and if the woman doesn’t adhere to his, uh… decision she can be sentenced to serve the realm.” Frey stared at me and I finished. “Uh… I told Aurora everything that night after Father… after we put Father… when his boat…” I sucked in breath. “Well, that night Mother drank two bottles of wine all by herself and I fell asleep while she did it and so did she and you had to carry both of us to bed, I told her what happened and she explained it to me.”

“This is not the same in your world,” he guessed.

Women who did or did not take birth control against their male partner’s wishes serving a term of nine months sentenced to do light work in castles, hospitals or orphanages?

Uh… crazy!

“No,” I confirmed. “It’s the woman’s choice unless she’s married and then they decide together and until they do… well, she just takes it, mostly. I don’t know, I’ve, uh… never been married until, well… now.”

Carefully, Frey stated, “You hid taking it from me.”

I blinked in confusion before, equally carefully, I replied, “No, honey, I didn’t. I don’t know why you’d think that but I guess you just were never around when I took it.”

He nodded before he reminded me gently, “All right, Finnie, but we discussed it with you approaching the subject within twenty-four hours of my return to you after I was at sea.”

“I know, Frey, because we were set to have sex within twenty-four hours after your return to me and, at that time, I thought I was going home and I didn’t want to do it pregnant or with a newborn who’d never see his or her father again.”

He studied me for long moments.

Then he muttered, “I misinterpreted this,” but as he did, he held my eyes.

I smiled at him and said softly, “I gathered that.”

His eyes dropped to my mouth then his hand shifted up so his thumb could stroke my cheekbone as his eyes lifted back to mine.

Then he whispered, “I was in love with you when I ordered the elves to bind you to me.”

My body stiffened slightly under his and I shook my head and whispered, “Frey –”

“It is true I didn’t know it,” he interrupted me. “All I knew was when Nillen told me you were set to leave, I couldn’t abide that. Nillen warned me there would be consequences but I decided I would accept whatever they were as long as I knew you could never leave me.” His face dipped closer and his voice dipped lower when he went on, “You already had a hold on my heart, Finnie. You must believe I would not have done what I did if that wasn’t true.”

“You barely knew me,” I pointed out quietly.

“I knew you were beautiful. I knew you smelled good. I knew you filled out a gown very nicely. I knew you could cook. I knew your cheeks got pink and your eyes lit when you were excited. I knew in just weeks you made friends, you chattered brightly, you were interested in me, you smiled easily, you laughed readily, you would come to my defense when you thought I faced danger, you responded to my touch and,” he grinned, “you did that wildly.”

I rolled my eyes.

Frey kept talking so I rolled them back.

“And I left you alone in my cabin and you didn’t just survive, you thrived so I knew you were an uncommon woman, an uncommon woman who would match me. So I knew you, Finnie, and I bound you to me knowing I wanted to know you more and knowing I would like having a lifetime of that discovery.”

Oh my God, did he just say that?

I stared at him, my heart in my throat.

He said it.

Then, my voice husky, I started to threaten, “Frey Drakkar, if you make me cry –”

He cut me off. “But what I didn’t know until later was when the elves bound you to this world, they also bound you to me so when I returned from their realm, I knew where you were, I sensed you, I could find you, I went right to you, taking the dragons with me. I sent a messenger to bring my men to me so they would be safe from the dragon’s fire then, as you ran with your witches through the forest, I knew exactly where you were so the fire I aimed from my beasts never got near you.”

That was when I blinked and breathed, “Really?”

He grinned again and whispered, “Really.”

“Cool.” I whispered back, still on a breath and watched my husband’s grin get bigger.

Then his face grew soft and his warm eyes roamed my own as he muttered, “By the gods, I hope you never lose your wonder for all that is life, my wee Finnie.”