Wild Man Creek (Virgin River #14)(98)

“Six months will go by quickly,” he said.

“Sure it will.” But he’d never misled her about the length of his absence. This trip would be six months, but after that he would try other countries, other possibilities. If he found a satisfying, fulfilling flying job, he was only coming back here for visits. Colin had wanderlust and hungry adrenaline; he needed to keep moving, keep challenging his easily bored spirit. How many years would this passionate love last with a short visit every six months?

“Take care. Watch out for Denny. He feels like a little brother to me.”

She laughed a little. “I told him that, too. Don’t worry about Denny. He’s in good hands.”

“Goodbye, Jilly,” he said. “I’ll talk to you soon.”

“Soon,” she echoed.

And then she watched him get in his brother’s truck and disappear down the long drive.

Jillian did what she did best—she concentrated on the garden. Of course, she wasn’t as lighthearted or joyful. She was in mourning, though she fully expected it to pass soon. After all, she’d had many losses in her life and she’d weathered them well. At least Colin was perfectly fine, just not in her home or her bed.

She was a little quiet for a while, and Denny asked her if she was doing all right and she said that of course she missed Colin, but that was to be expected.

It was two days before there was contact from Colin. She received two emails. One was a group mailing to her and everyone in his family describing the long flight, the connecting flights in a couple of small prop planes from South Africa through Mozambique to Tanzania. He included pictures he’d taken along the way. He explained that once he hooked up with his safari group, he would very likely be out of touch for a while. And he also mentioned that before leaving on safari he had already made arrangements to take a tour of Mount Kilimanjaro. He’d decided against any mountain climbing, but was booked on a helicopter tour! He wished everyone well and told them not to worry if they didn’t hear from him.

The second email was more personal.

Jilly, I’m not too far from where my brother served in that disaster that was Somalia. I was so young then. If you’d asked me even five years ago if I’d ever be interested in this place, I would have said no! Yet what I’ve seen of this continent so far is heart-stopping in beauty. I can’t wait to get to the park, to the safari. It could be as long as weeks before I can send pictures, but I picked up a couple of international cell phones. I’ll try to call, though I’m told communication is limited. Meanwhile, tend your prizewinning crop and think of me sometimes.

Love, Colin

She spent more time indoors after that, while Denny did some chores around the gardens. Not surprisingly, she did some crying. She’d gone from mourning to grieving, not only missing him but letting go of the expectations for a life with him that she’d hidden deep in her heart. She had been lying to herself that she was going to be able to let go without a fight.

After ten days some pictures came. Rhinoceros, elephants, cheetah, apes, even a lion! And the email that accompanied the pictures—which he sent to the entire group was short but exuberant. He was filled with excitement and exhilaration. She could feel the energy in his words.

At first it made her heart soar with happiness, that he reached out to her. She reveled in the pictures, looking at them over and over, reading and rereading the brief email. But there was no second, more personal note this time. And there still had not been a phone call. Her heart began to ache.

“Denny,” she said to him one Friday morning, “I need a little personal time. Take a week. Full pay, of course. Visit friends. Look up some of the state fair girls you met. Do chores around town. Whatever. I just want to tend my crop alone. I need a little time by myself and I don’t want to hide in the house or make you uncomfortable.”

“Are you going to be okay, Jillian?” he asked her. “Is there anything I can do to help?”

“I’ll be fine. Just missing him a little more than I thought I would.” She forced a smile. “My gardens heal me, but there could be some… Well, there could be some emotion I’m not real comfortable sharing with anyone. Please, just give me a week and then I’m sure we’ll be squared away. I’ll see you a week from Monday.”

“Listen, if there’s anything you need—”

“I apologize, but I just want my house and yard to myself for a little while. Solitude and my plants make me feel better.” She shrugged. “I have experience with it.”

She could tell Denny was reluctant to leave her alone, but he was such a sensitive guy, he gave her what she asked for. She felt so bad—she hadn’t even shared the most recent pictures with him! And of course Denny would be interested in what was going on with Colin, as well! But somehow she just couldn’t. She promised herself that when he came back to work in a week, she’d be all straightened out and they’d look at the pictures together.

Once Denny was gone, she let it go. The crying she’d been holding inside for God knew how long came flooding out of her. Her tears fell on many plants; she let them run down her cheeks and fall onto her T-shirt. She talked to him, though he was thousands of miles away. Colin, oh Colin, is it everything you wanted, everything you imagined and needed? Does every cell in your body scream that this was the right thing to do? Do you think of me sometimes?