Whispers in the Dark (KGI #4)(69)

Then he gentled the forceful bruising of his mouth and stroked his tongue over hers, velvety rough and warm. His kiss turned from frustration and punishment to shivery seduction.

He slid his hands up her neck to delve into her hair even as he pulled her closer, impossibly close, until their tongues were tangled, mouths sealed, and her nostrils flared with the effort to take in air.

He stroked again with his tongue and then withdrew only to nip at her bottom lip, sucking it strongly into his mouth. He nibbled and toyed and then slid his tongue sensuously over the area where he’d bitten as if to soothe. When he finally drew away, his breaths were harsh explosions in the confines of the backseat, and his eyes were dark, nearly black, as he stared back at her.

You look at me and tell me you think you’re some goddamn obligation to me. You look at me and tell me that we’re pretending when the connection between us is the most tangible, overpowering thing I’ve ever felt in my life. If this is pretending, then I damn sure don’t want to know what reality is. Do you honest to God think I swooped in for a quick lay and to repay some debt to you and that I’ll go on my merry way once you and your sister are safe again?

She dropped her gaze as heat flooded her cheeks. The fury in his voice, the hurt evident in his tone, shamed her.

Goddamn it, Shea, you mean everything to me. You mean more to me than I have the words to explain. Is it normal? Who gives a damn if it’s normal? Fuck normal. You and I will never be normal people. If normal means I’m not with you, then I never want to be that man.

He nudged her chin upward as he said the last. Tears filled her eyes and then she threw her arms around his neck, holding him so tight as her body shook against his.

Oh God, his words scared her and filled her with such hope and longing all at the same time. She wanted to believe him. She wanted to let herself believe in the fantasy she’d built in her mind.

He tugged her gently away from his neck and kissed her softly on the cheek where it was damp with her tears. He stroked through her hair, all the while staring at her with so much…love…oh God, love.

We may not have the most conventional path that a couple has ever traveled to get together, but you’re here and I’m damn well not letting you go. And I don’t give a damn who knows it.

She leaned her forehead against his again and touched his cheeks with her fingertips. I want that too, Nathan. I swear to you I want it. I’m just so afraid that we’ll never have it. I’m afraid of what I’ve done by dragging you into this mess. I’m afraid of what it’s done for any chance that you and I have of being together.

He lifted the hair from her neck and let the strands run through his fingers as they stared at each other, so close that she could feel the light brush of air when he blinked.

Trust me, Shea. We’ll find a way. I need you to believe that. We aren’t alone. I have my family behind me and I’m in front of you. Always. I’ll protect you with my life because you are my life. If that sounds dramatic, f**k it. You’ve been mine since the day you answered me in my darkest hour. You heard me when no one else did or could. You reached out to me. You saved me. We have an unbreakable bond forged in the fires of hell. I won’t allow anything or anyone to come between us.

I trust you, Nathan.

But do you believe me? Do you really believe everything I’ve just said to you? Damn it, Shea, I’ve just gutted myself in front of you. I’ve made myself as vulnerable as a man can make himself to a woman. It’s the same as if I just handed you a knife and offered you my balls, for God’s sake. And I don’t even give a f**k. Because I have no pride when it comes to you. There is nothing I wouldn’t do or say to make you understand that I love you. I f**king love you. There, I said it. Do you believe me now?

He sounded so pissed off and angry that the admission had been torn from him that she had to battle the smile forming on her lips.

They’d held the link between them for so long now that fatigue and weakness crept over her shoulders until they sagged. She still wasn’t back to full strength and she was tired and worried. Holding the link even for this long was taking a toll, but she battled fiercely, because this was more important than anything else.

Her lips trembled. Her fingers splayed out over his face, and she kissed him gently on the mouth. Panic scuttled around her chest and down into her stomach, but how could she not lay bare her soul? Just as Nathan had just done for her.

I believe you. The words whispered from her mind into his, and she could feel her energy fading as she fought to control the pathway. She took a deep breath and took the plunge. How could she not when he’d done the same? I love you too, Nathan. So much. It scares the hell out of me. I can’t lose you. I don’t want to lose you.

She felt his relief so stark, so powerful that it flooded her on all levels, overwhelming her with the sheer intensity of his emotions.

“Thank God,” he muttered aloud.

She let her head slide down to his shoulder, and she pressed her face into his neck, so weary and exhausted. Weak from maintaining the intense flow of communication between them.

He gathered her in his arms and cursed softly under his breath.

“I forget what it does to you,” he murmured. “I’m sorry.”

“I’m not,” she said drowsily. “I wouldn’t trade those words for anything.”

He pulled a hand through the strands of her hair, gently stroking her as he pulled her even closer into his body. “No,” he said quietly. “Neither would I.”