Whispers at Moonrise (Shadow Falls #4)(104)

Kylie felt Holiday slip her soft hand against her wrist, as if reading some of her emotional angst. The touch had little effect this time. Kylie was in love with Lucas, a guy who couldn't even be seen in public with her, and she'd made a complete idiot out of herself with one of her ghost visions.

"Burnett," Holiday spoke softly, "why don't you go find some shoes and give Kylie and me a few minutes alone."

* * *

Something about being alone with Holiday had Kylie letting go and allowing herself to fall apart. She fell against the camp leader's shoulder and started sobbing.

Holiday held her, held her so tight that Kylie cried harder. After a few minutes, Holiday spoke. "I'm so damn sorry. Hannah shouldn't have come to you. You're too young to have to deal with this."

The words brought a sudden halt to Kylie's pity party.

She pulled out of the embrace. "No. I mean, sure, it's hard, but this is what I do. I'd do it for a stranger. And I'd do it for your sister again and again." And if it meant stopping someone from hurting Holiday, I would do that and more.

Kylie wiped her face to clear the tears and knew she was all red and blotchy. Not that she cared. This was Holiday. Her mentor, her big sister. Her friend.

"Besides," Kylie added, "it's not just the vision. It's Lucas. I think I love him. No, I'm pretty sure I love him. Oh, shit! I'm in love with a boy who can't love me back."

Holiday brushed her hand over Kylie's cheek. "Oh, hon, he might not supposed to be in love with you, but that doesn't mean he can't, or that he doesn't."

Kylie inhaled deeply, trying not to let herself cry again. "He hasn't told me he loves me. I mean, I haven't told him either, but ... Derek told me he loved me. And..." She closed her eyes, trying to figure out how to put it. "And sometimes I'm confused about what I feel for him, but just now, seeing what you and Burnett have, or what you could have, it made me realize I want that. I'm tired of hiding what I feel and being afraid of it."

The tears Kylie had stopped shedding filled Holiday's eyes. "Love's always scary."

Kylie felt Holiday's emotions blend with her own. "It shouldn't be scary," Kylie said. "Burnett loves you. Even I can see it. And I know you love him. Don't lose out on something wonderful because you're scared."

"I just need some time," Holiday said.

"Time we might not have. Life's fragile. Look at Hannah, and Cindy and the other girl. They don't get the opportunity to love again. We have the chance and we're not doing it. I should have told Lucas how I feel. I should have forced him to be honest with me about what's happening with him. You should tell Burnett how you feel."

Holiday bit down on her lower lip. "I thought I was the one offering advice here."

"Yeah, well, the tables turned," Kylie said. Things change. Kylie just hoped with all the things changing, the one constant in her life would be Shadow Falls. The thought of losing Holiday and everyone here, even the ones who considered her a nutcase, was too much. They were her family.

* * *

That night, Kylie had tried to dreamscape with Lucas, but it wasn't working. She texted him, called him, and even e-mailed. No answer came back. Then at two in the morning, staring at the ceiling, her phone rang. She grabbed it without checking the caller ID.

"Lucas?" she said his name at the same time she hit the light switch. The cold in the room came on faster than the light.

"Sorry," the voice on the line said. "Just me."

Kylie shivered then frowned when she recognized the voice. "I just tried-"

"It's okay," Derek said, but his tone said it wasn't really okay. "I just woke up and felt you worrying. I tried to call you earlier to see how you were after the vision, but you didn't call me back."

Kylie pulled the blanket up around her neck. The spirit standing by the bed faded, but before she did, Kylie recognized her as the woman from earlier that day. Remembering who was on the phone, Kylie's chest swelled with emotion.

"I ... It's been crazy." She'd gotten his messages. She just hadn't wanted to talk to him because of the emotional storm she felt about Lucas right now. It wasn't fair to Derek, because even though she wasn't doing anything wrong, she knew their friendship offered him hope that she would change her mind, and she didn't think that hope had a hell of a lot of merit.

"You're pulling away again," he said.

"Derek, it's-"

"Kylie, you don't have to explain. I know." He paused. "It's okay. And someday I'll even be able to say that and mean it."

"You're a special guy," Kylie said, hurting for him.

"I know," he said, and chuckled. "And that's why I'm not completely giving up. But I'm working on it. I just called to check on you."

"I'm okay," Kylie said.

"Then I'll say good night." Rejection sounded in his voice.

"Derek, I'm really-"

"Just say good night, Kylie," he insisted.

"Good night," she whispered, and nothing was sadder than the sound of that dead line.

Putting her phone down, Kylie looked around. The cold from the spirit had lessened but she could tell she lingered nearby.