Whispering Rock (Virgin River #3)(96)

“Doesn’t that make you feel strange about her now? Knowing that happened to her, that someone did all that to her?”

“Brenda, it’s not like she did anything wrong. In fact, she risked everything to get that guy, make sure he was behind bars so he couldn’t ever do anything like that again. You have any idea how brave she had to be to do that? Mike’s so proud of her, he idolizes her. I think Brie might be one of the strongest women I’ve ever known. Brie and Mel and my sister, for sure.”

Brenda dismounted when they got to the barn. “Wouldn’t a guy feel funny about his girl getting raped? Like maybe not wanting to… You know… Seems like a guy wouldn’t want to touch her after that.”

“Like she was dirty? Come on,” he said, laughing. “Don’t think like that. When something bad happens to the girl you love, you just love her that much harder.”

“Really?”

“Of course, really.”

“She must’ve been pretty scared. About the trial and everything. I wonder if she ever thought about just not doing it—not testifying.”

“I doubt it,” he said. “It took a lot for her to go through with that, but she did it.” Tom took the reins of Brenda’s mount and led the horses inside. He got the saddles off, the bridles released. When she followed him into the tack room, he turned and pulled her into his arms. This was his favorite part. He kissed her. Damn, he loved the girl. “Wanna find a nice, soft bale of hay?” he asked her.

But she was crying. Little soft tears that made no noise.

“Brenda? What’s up, baby? Huh?”

“I’m sorry,” she said. “I have to tell you something you’re gonna hate.”

He wiped the tears off her cheeks. “What?” he asked gently.

“I’m not a virgin,” she said with a sniff.

“Aw, Brenda.” He laughed, closing his arms around her more tightly. “What are you worrying about? That’s not as big a deal to me as you might think.” He pulled away and looked into her eyes. “You’re funny—here you’re embarrassed because you’re not a virgin and I’m embarrassed because I am.”

“It wasn’t someone I dated,” she said.

“What are you talking about?”

“I’m pretty sure I was raped.”

He frowned. “Pretty sure?” he asked.

But now that it was out and she couldn’t turn back, Brenda crumbled against him, sobbing. Tom was no expert on girls, but he was smart enough to know he wasn’t going to get the rest of the story until she calmed down a little. He sat down on the bench in the tack room and pulled her onto his lap, holding her while she cried. He murmured little words of comfort, stroked her back, held her close. It was quite a while before she could talk again.

“I lied to you, Tommy,” she said, wiping at her face with the back of her hand. “I did go to one of those rest-stop parties. One. With a couple of girlfriends and a date—a guy I went out with that one time. You take sleeping bags, you know? Because you’ll have to sleep over, either in cars or on the ground, on account of drinking. Like camping, right? I got drunk real fast and passed out. When I woke up, I’d been sick all over the place and a couple of the guys said I’d really gotten wasted and was pretty hilarious—but I don’t remember anything. Two months later I realized I was pregnant.”

“Holy shit,” he said.

“Yeah,” she said, letting out a short, embarrassed laugh. “I was on my way to get an abortion when I had a miscarriage. Whoever it was gave me a raging infection. I hope he dies of it. There—it’s out. Now you can break up with me.”

“Why would I do that? I told you, I love you.” He stroked her hair. “Who was it?”

“I don’t know. I don’t want to know. There were six guys at that party—I gave the names to Mike. He’d like me to tell the story to the sheriff—but what good’s that going to do? I’m not like Brie, Tommy—I have no idea who it was. Plus, I’m not brave enough to do that. And I don’t want the whole school to know I got pregnant. And really, I don’t even want to know who it was because, God, what if there was more than one? Oh, God,” she said, falling into helpless tears again.

“Okay, Brenda, honey. It’s okay…”

“What can you think of me?”

“I told you—it’s not your fault and I love you.”

“I can’t go any further with it. All I wanted since I realized what happened is that it go away. No way I’m going to blame anyone, testify against anyone.”

“Maybe they could get the guy without putting you through all that.”

“And what if I wasn’t raped, really? What if I was just stupid drunk and let some guy—”

“No, you didn’t,” he said. “We’ve been together over five months. You’re not like that. We’ve had a beer or two together—you’re not like that. That isn’t what happened.”

“There might’ve been a drug,” she said.

He pulled her close against him. It was hard, but he tried to focus on Brenda’s feelings rather than building rage at what had been done to his girl, even before she was his girl. Of course he remembered the fight he’d been in with Whitley. It turned his stomach to think that little prick could’ve slipped his girl a drug and then used her. But he couldn’t let himself think about that yet. He had to keep his arms around her, convince her he would never hold that against her. “Yeah,” he said. “There might’ve been.”