When I'm with You (Because You Are Mine #2)(112)
“Elise?” he bellowed. He quickly checked the living room, kitchen, dining room, extra bedroom, and den. All empty.
She was gone. An icy chill went through him. He’d half worried that she might be disgusted by what she’d learned at Ian’s penthouse the other night. She’d certainly seemed awkward and uncomfortable when they had briefly spoken on the phone, and she hadn’t called him once while he was in London. He knew they needed to talk, but he felt the uselessness and hollowness of doing it via the phone, so he’d just sent her messages to keep her updated. They’d talk face-to-face once he returned.
He hadn’t believed things were so bad that she’d leave. But maybe it wasn’t her discomfort about Trevor Gaines? Maybe she was angry because he hadn’t confided the full truth to her?
He’d always preached to her about honesty after all, he recalled grimly.
He pocketed the keys he’d set on a table in the living room and headed for the front door, already drawing his phone out of his jacket. He’d find her, he thought, his moment of panic giving way to grim determination. If she didn’t answer her phone, Francesca probably knew of her whereabouts . . . or Denise and Sharon were good possibilities, although Fusion was closed today . . .
His hand was on the front door when he glanced aside at an entryway table and paused.
Elise’s purse rested on it. A powerful feeling of relief swept through him, stealing his breath. Trepidation was close on its heels.
He realized fully for the first time that he was colluding with Elise in their distant, impersonal communication. He wasn’t sure what to say to her.
He thought of how he’d encouraged her to be honest, how he’d told her he’d never be disappointed in her if she was. She’d deserved the same courtesy, but he’d deprived her of that. Yes, he’d had a good reason. The truth about Trevor Gaines was not only his ugly story, it was Ian’s. Lucien had decided it was only right that Ian be the first to hear the facts. He truly believed in that decision, but his secrecy had come from more than just respect for Ian. He knew that now. His rationale had given him the excuse he needed to keep a distance from others for years. The women he’d dated, his adoptive mother, his foolish adoptive father . . .
From Elise.
It’d been Lucien who had been too insecure about the truth. He’d been so disgusted by it, he’d guarded the ugliness of it even from her.
Especially from her.
Which was the same thing as putting up a wall against his own heart.
* * *
Elise stood at the east-facing parapet, a cool, pleasant, early-morning lake breeze brushing against her cheeks and fluttering her hair. Scattered clouds occasionally blocked the sun, so that she stood in bright light one moment, shadows the next. She was on the roof terrace, but she had the strangest feeling she was at a symbolic crossroads.
Her plans were in place. It was time for her to leave Lucien’s residence for good. He couldn’t want her there. He wouldn’t.
Her bags had already gone ahead of her. Instead of having to return to Paris, her tail between her legs—as she’d feared—Denise had been her savior. The chef had insisted last night that Elise stay with her.
Elise had called her mentor and told her an edited version of her reasons for needing to leave Chicago, not wanting to betray Lucien to his employee. It turned out she needn’t have worried. Being the perceptive woman Denise was, she’d already guessed at Elise and Lucien’s relationship, and was sympathetic to a breakup, wisely not taking the side of either party. Elise had assured the older woman she would pay her back the rent money as soon as she was able, but Denise hadn’t been concerned.
“With your talent, you’ll have your own restaurant very soon. You can pay me back then if you choose, but the most important thing is that you finish your training,” she’d said.
Elise inhaled the fresh breeze, praying for inspiration. Insight.
There’s a difference between asking and begging. There is no desperation in asking—only courage.
The words Lucien had once spoken to her on this very terrace beneath a midnight-blue, star-studded sky echoed around her brain. Was she perhaps being a coward by leaving? Was she giving up too early, without giving herself the opportunity to speak to Lucien . . . to ask for his forgiveness?
Was she still being impulsive, even if she wasn’t being selfish?
“You’re not leaving.”
Elise jumped in alarm at the sound of the familiar quiet yet determined voice.
She spun around, her eyes wide. He stood not ten feet away, wearing a pair of jeans and a white T-shirt, his scarlet button-down shirt flapping slightly in the wind around his lean torso. Stubble surrounded his usually neat goatee, his cheekbones looked more prominent than usual, and there were shadows beneath his eyes.
Yet he’d never looked more beautiful to her.
“Lucien,” she mouthed.
“Why are none of your things in the penthouse?” he asked, his face rigid, his eyes blazing as he stepped toward her.
“Because they’ve been sent on to Denise’s. She’s said I could live with her while I finished with my stage. That is”—she licked her lower lip nervously—“if you allow me to finish my training at Fusion.”
“Why wouldn’t I allow you to finish your training at Fusion?” he asked, his nostrils flaring slightly, his eyebrows slanting in a dangerous expression.