When Day Breaks (KGI #9)(36)

He wanted nothing to interfere with what they had—and would have—now. All he could control was how they spent the time they had together. Anything beyond was out of his control, and so he had to concentrate on what was in his control: making damn certain that he gave Eden what she wanted—what he wanted—and enjoying every stolen moment together. If in the end they did go in different directions, then he’d savor every single memory of their time together and never regret a single moment. It was all either of them could do.

Knowing the quiet time he’d spent simply observing Eden unnoticed was over, he reluctantly brushed a hand over her cheek and murmured in a low voice, “Eden. Baby, it’s time to get up. We need to hit the gym in twenty minutes if we’re going to be on schedule for your shoot.”

Her eyelids fluttered open and her unfocused stare found his, and then her entire face was transformed into a heart-stopping smile that took his breath away. The idea that she found so much pleasure from being in his arms, coming awake in his arms, made his chest constrict to the point of discomfort.

“Good morning,” she said in a sleepy, husky voice.

He pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Good morning. Did you sleep well?”

“Like a rock,” she admitted. “I’ve never slept better. I have you to thank for that. So thank you.”

“For what, honey?”

“For sleeping with me. For holding me. Letting me sleep in your arms. I’ve never felt as safe and secure as I did last night.”

Her frank admission twisted his stomach into knots. God, the woman was worming her way right into his very soul. She was already firmly entrenched, but every minute in her presence only strengthened the bond between them. Was this what love felt like? Was he already falling in love with her?

The practical side of him argued that it was much too soon to be making that kind of admission. But his heart and soul said very different things. That this was his woman. She belonged to him. Making love to her would simply cement what he already knew. That she was his.

He kissed her again, this time brushing his mouth over hers in a tender manner. “You’re very welcome. But I have to tell you, I’ve never slept as well either, so you did as much for me as you say I did for you. I have . . .”

He struggled with the admission on the tip of his tongue. It made him sound weak. And the last thing he wanted her to think was that he was weak.

“You have what?” she asked gently.

“Nightmares,” he said in a low voice. “There doesn’t seem to be a rhyme or reason to them. Some nights I don’t dream at all. But others I dream about being back there, of the pain and despair I felt—still feel at times.”

Her eyes shone with sympathy. With anyone else he would hate that sympathy. It was the last thing he wanted. But with Eden, he didn’t feel the accompanying shame he so often felt over appearing weak.

“I can only imagine,” she murmured. “It must have been such a horrible time for you, Swanny. I’m glad you had one night of peace. I’d hate to think that you were giving me so much and that I was giving you nothing in return. So it makes me feel good that you slept as well as I did. I think we make a good team,” she said, a sparkle entering her eyes. “Maybe I’m good for you.”

“I know you’re good for me,” he said with a growl. “There’s no question of that. Now at the risk of sounding like an ass**le, you’ve got to get up and get moving. I’ll grab a shower in the other bathroom and then we’ll go down and do your workout. If we have enough time, you can show me your moves and then I can analyze what you need further work on and we’ll fit it in around your shoots. I don’t want you to overdo it. I know this shoot is going to be exhausting enough.”

“Oh, I’ll be fine,” she said as she climbed from the bed, taking her warmth and sweetness with her. “Besides, if it means getting to spend more time with you, then I’ll make the time.”

God, but she had him so twisted into knots that he didn’t know up from down. How could someone so utterly perfect be interested in someone like him, who not only had physical scars but stains on his soul and emptiness in his heart that until meeting her he’d thought would never heal?

And yet within the short time they’d been together he could feel those missing parts starting to fill in. Like he was regaining all he’d lost during the horrific time he was held captive and taken apart little by little, his very will to live chipped away until he was ready to give up and end it all.

He hauled himself out of bed without the all-business attitude that was his usual morning routine. After taking a quick shower, he made a call to Joe to let him know he and Eden would be down in the gym until it was time to take her to the shoot. Joe had already made arrangements for the cars that would take Eden and the rest of KGI wherever they needed to go while they were in Paris.

“I’ll send Skylar and Edge down to cover the entrance to the gym,” Joe said. “We can’t be too careful and we definitely can’t afford to let our guard down.”

Swanny bristled at the notion that he wasn’t adequate protection for Eden, but he knew Joe was right. What Swanny couldn’t do was become involved with Eden to the extent that he became distracted from their number one priority: keeping her safe at all times.

Her safety came first, above everything else. Even the attraction between them. Nothing could compromise their goal. This was a mission. A job. Their reputation, not to mention Eden’s life, was riding on this. He damn sure wasn’t going to be the reason they failed, and he definitely wouldn’t be the reason Eden got hurt or killed.