Waiting On You (Blue Heron #3)(87)

Lucas had always been a sweet uncle. And now he wore his nieces’ friendship bracelets, the kind that would have to stay on until you cut them off, which Colleen knew he wouldn’t do.

Dangerously appealing.

“You seem happier,” she said unexpectedly, and while she honestly wouldn’t have wished him to be miserable, the acknowledgment stabbed her.

He shrugged.

“Are you still working for your father-in-law?” Hey. Google didn’t exist for nothing.

“Ex-father-in-law. And yes, though I won’t be doing that much longer.”

“Starting your own company?” she asked.

“Yes. How did you know?”

She tugged her skirt to cover her knees. “It just seems like a better fit for you. You’re a loner. Or you were.”

“And you, mía? Are you happy?”

“Don’t call me mía, okay? I might think all sorts of deliciously romantic things and start writing your name in my notebook.” She glanced out the window to the leaves of the big maple, which were rustling in the wind. “Yes, I’m happy.”

“You never...” His voice trailed off.

“Never what?” she asked a bit sharply.

“Never got married? Never came close?”

“Lucas, I’m insulted you never stalked me on Facebook.”

“No, I never did.”

And why would he? He had a life, a wife, a different time zone. He lived in the City of Big Shoulders, he was Frank Forbes’s son-in-law.

“You haven’t answered the question,” he said.

She pursed her lips. “I thought I came close once. With you. Otherwise, no.”

“But you’re happy?” he asked.

“Why? Trying to soothe your guilty conscience?”

“Because I always hoped you were.”

Well, shit. Her cynical heart gave a tug. He always had a way of cutting through her usual shtick with that wretchedly effective weapon—sincerity.

“I’m happy,” she said. “The bar is great.”

“The heart of the town, it seems.”

“Thanks.” She sure hoped it was. That was kind of the point. “I work at the nursing home a little.”

“I saw you there on Thursday.”

“You did?”

“I’m consulting on a new wing. You were with your grandfather. I didn’t want to intrude.”

Gramp had been having a bad day. Completely unresponsive, only accepting a sip of water if she held the glass to his lips, like a baby bird.

The noise from the party floated up to them, laughter and music, in little waves on the summer air.

She cleared her throat. “And your marriage? Was it good?” Crap. This talking stuff was very difficult.

His eyes were so dark. “For the most part, yes.”

Ah, shit. She was going to have to ask. It was the elephant in the attic, after all. “Lucas,” she said, and her voice shook a little, “why her and not me? You said you didn’t want to get married so young. Was it who she was? Her family? The money? I won’t judge you. I just want to know.”

He didn’t answer right away. “She was pregnant.”

The words seemed to suck the hot air out of the attic completely, leaving nothing to feed her lungs.

Maybe she’d always known. She’d asked him that that horrible day, and she still remembered the pause before he said no. For nine months, she waited to hear news of a baby, not proud of it, but waiting and waiting.

No birth announcement. Back then it had been a relief.

But now... “I’m so sorry,” she whispered.

He nodded once and looked at the floor. “Thank you.”

For a few minutes, they didn’t say anything else. Colleen surreptitiously wiped her eyes.

Lucas was looking at her again, his face somber. “I came to see you,” he said. “After you broke up with me. I couldn’t stand it anymore.”

She already knew why he never followed through.

“You were with someone else,” he said, his voice quiet. “It seemed like you were serious about breaking up. I went back home, ran into Ellen a few weeks later, slept with her. One time. And that was that.”

“I asked you, though. When you came back, I asked if she was pregnant.”

He nodded again. “She didn’t want anyone to know, outside of her parents. I didn’t...I didn’t want to hurt you more than I already was. And I had to respect what Ellen wanted.” He paused. “She miscarried about a month after the wedding.”

“I’m so sorry,” she said again.

He gave her a small smile. “Me, too.”

Colleen swallowed.

Ellen Forbes had gotten pregnant, and Lucas married her. That was completely in keeping with his sense of honor and responsibility...and the fact that he was a family man.

And she knew without him speaking the words what the loss of that baby must’ve meant to him. Lucas, who would have made the best father. He never would have left Ellen, not after that kind of shared sorrow.

“Did you love her?” she asked.

“Yes. Of course.”

He never had said that to her—“I love you.” The thought came unbidden, and it filled her throat with tears. Lucas looked at her, his dark eyes liquid. He reached out and wiped her cheek because it seemed a tear had slipped out.