Waiting On You (Blue Heron #3)(46)

“Yeah, okay, I’ll get started.”

Debbie gave her a disapproving look—no inner goddess for you!—and moved on.

Colleen took a breath and risked another look at the wizened bu**ocks and scrawny legs of Sasquatch. A breeze came through the window, ruffling the tufts of hair on Stan’s shoulders, and Coll bent down to hide another surge of wheezing laughter.

For the next half hour, Mom Catholic-sighed and sketched and gave Colleen censorious glances. Colleen herself drew several rather adorable stick figures, complete with tufts of hair, trying not to look directly at Stan, specifically at the fronds of armpit hair, which hung down like human scalps. The skin under her eyes grew raw from tears of silent laughter.

“Stanley, thank you,” Debbie said at long, long last. “Class, one of the things you may not know is just how physically taxing nude modeling is. If you’d like to tip Stanley, I’m sure he’d appreciate it.”

“I think he should pay me for having to look at that,” Mom muttered, fishing out a dollar bill. Colleen, unable to make eye contact, handed him a twenty.

She went over to Paulie. To her surprise, Paulie had drawn a pretty good picture of Stan, capturing his beady eyes and balding head, and hunched, criminal posture. “Nice, Paulie,” she said.

“Once I got over the shock, it was fun.”

“Your first na**d man?” Colleen whispered.

“Well, my first in real person. I’ve watched a little  p**n .”

Colleen bit her lip. “I see. Listen, I’m sorry there aren’t more men here to practice on. You never can tell with these singles things.”

“No, that’s okay! It’s nice to do something different.” Paulie smiled up at Colleen so sweetly that Coll’s heart tugged.

“So I was thinking Bryce should see you on your home turf,” she said. “You interested in throwing a party?” The Petrosinsky home was gorgeous, if, er, unusually decorated.

“Sure!” Paulie said. “Yeah! My dad would love that.”

“Great. We’ll invite everyone.” Colleen smiled, squeezed Paulie’s rock-hard biceps, reminded herself to work out more and went to find her mom. She was talking to Orange Tooth, who wore a pair of Uggs similar to Colleen’s own, though she wore them only in the winter, like a normal person. Colleen overheard Mom say the phrase “lapse in judgment” and rolled her eyes.

“Lorelei, do you know Gerard Chartier?” Colleen asked, figuring she’d scatter a few seeds.

“Oh, sure,” Lorelei said. “Kind of a man-whore, right?”

“Mmm-hmm. He needs a good woman to reform him. And I know for a fact he loves your coconut macaroons.”

Suddenly, there was a commotion in the corner. Orange Tooth had fallen to the floor, clutching his chest. “Call 9-1-1,” he gasped. “I’m having a heart attack and need sixty milligrams of Oxycontin and a bolus of morphine.”

“Anyone else thinking prescription drug abuse?” Colleen murmured.

Ten minutes later, the guy (whose name was Calvin) was being bundled into an ambulance. He was talking, sucking hard on oxygen and clutching Mom’s hand. Gerard and Jessica Dunn, who was a volunteer firefighter, were talking reassuringly to him.

“Speaking of the heroic man-whore, right?” Colleen said to Lorelei. “Nothing like a guy in turnout gear.”

“Absolutely,” she sighed.

“Colleen!” Mom barked. “Calvin wants me to go with him. Follow me to the hospital so you can drive me home.”

Fifteen minutes later, Colleen got out of her car and walked into the E.R., a place she’d spent many happy hours as a kid, watching Connor get sewn up from his various injuries.

“Heya, Calvin,” the intake nurse said. “Back to visit us again?”

“Get me some Oxy, stat,” he said. “And not the generic crap. I want the real deal.”

“You’re grounded, young lady,” Mom said as they wheeled Calvin away. Since he still hadn’t let go of Mom’s hand, she had to go, too, which was cute in a serial killer kind of way. Colleen waved merrily. As Paulie said, it was good to do something different.

But Mom would be really nice to Calvin because Mom was really nice, if a little obtuse. As for Colleen, having to wait here in the E.R. with nothing to do, or read...

Maybe she’d call Faith. Nah. It was after nine, and Faith was a newlywed and probably shagging Levi this very moment.

A sweet needle of envy pricked Colleen’s heart. Not that she begrudged the happy couple. It was just that everyone seemed to be pairing off these days. Even Connor had a girlfriend, and one important enough to sneak around with. So far, the nanny cam she’d put on his bookshelf had captured nothing.

Honor Holland and the lovely Tom Barlow had hooked up pretty fast, too. The first night Tom had come into the bar, Colleen felt a tiny spark of interest; how could she not, with Tom’s blue-collar British accent and goofy smile? But the spark fizzled for no good reason. Just like with Jack. Just like with Greg the waiter from last summer. The damn spark always fizzled.

Except with one guy.

Maybe she understood Mom better than she let on.

Not that she was still hung up on the past. She was happy, she’d gone out with plenty of guys and slept with a few (though not as many as she let people think).