Virgin River (Virgin River #1)(115)

“I liked what I found. I wasn’t willing to take any chances, and neither was anyone else. The same thing would happen for any other crisis—like a bear mauling or a forest fire or someone lost in the woods. People band up, go out and take care of the problem if they can. What else are you going to do?”

She played idly with his damp chest hair. “That look you get when you’re facing off with someone or something, do you have any idea how dark it is? You might want to keep that look in the closet—it’s disturbing.”

“I want to tell you something,” he said. “I asked your sister all about your husband. Mark.”

“You did?”

“Yep. I understand he was a great man. A brilliant man—and kind. He did a lot of good in the world, and he was good to you. I have a lot of respect for him.”

“She didn’t tell me this.”

“I’ve been trying to figure out how to say this to you. I might muck it up, but you have to listen. A couple of weeks ago I let you cry alone, because I was pissed. I caught you talking to his picture and I got threatened. Threatened by a dead man, which makes me a true candy-ass.” He touched her hair. “I won’t ever do that again, Mel. I understand why you love him, why you’ll always—”

“Jack—”

“No, I’m going to do this, and you’re going to listen. I know you didn’t want your life to change the way it did, and you couldn’t control it. Just like you can’t control what you feel. You don’t have to pretend you don’t think about him, or miss him. And if you have those moments when you’re sad, when you wish you could have him back in your life, you can be honest with me. You don’t have to pretend it’s PMS.” He smiled.

“We both know you don’t have PMS anymore.”

“Jack, what are you talking about?”

“I just want one thing. If I can be a sport about the fact that he’ll always be an important part of your life, can you try to not be sorry that we’re together, having this baby? Because I have to tell you, I’ve never been more ready for anything. I’ll do my best not to be jealous. I realize I’m not your first choice, but your next choice. That’s good enough for me, and I’m sorry someone died. I’m sorry for your loss, Mel.”

“Why are you saying this? It’s such nonsense.”

“It’s what I heard,” he said. “I heard you saying you were sorry you were pregnant, that it just happened, and you promised not to forget him.”

Mel gave him a look of disbelief. “I thought you were hurt by what you heard me say—but you were hurt because of what you didn’t hear!”

“Huh?”

“Jack, I’m not sorry I’m pregnant. I’m thrilled! I got myself all worked up because I realized that I was more in love with you than I thought possible. Maybe more in love than I’ve ever been in my life. I had a short insane moment of feeling that I’d betrayed his memory somehow. As though I’d been unfaithful or something. It’s true—I didn’t mean for it to happen, but it did. I know I resisted, but you just got to me. I promised Mark I wouldn’t forget him. And I won’t because you’re right, he was a good man. And I respect him, too.”

“Huh?” he said again.

“Look,” she said, playing with his thick, damp hair. “I was upset and a little confused. I loved Mark very much. I didn’t think I’d get to feel that again, much less for someone new. Imagine how it threw me when I realized I felt something even stronger. Something even more powerful. Jack, I was telling Mark I had moved on. I was saying goodbye—it was difficult. I’m not going to be a widow anymore, darling. I’m going to be a wife. This thing I have with you—it’s amazing.”

“Seriously?”

“I was in this high, emotional state,” she said with a shrug. “I was tired and pregnant. Jack, I love you so much. Can’t you tell?”

“Well…yeah,” he said, sitting up in the bed a little. “But I thought it was mostly physical. I mean—damn, Mel. We’re really good together. The way we come together, it almost makes me weak to think about it.”

“I don’t mind the physical part one bit,” she said with a mischievous grin. “But I love more about you than that. Your character, for one thing. Your generosity and how about your courage. Oh, there are about a million things, but I’m done talking now.”

She kissed him. “Now I want you to say something wonderful to me right before you tear this shirt off my body.”

He rolled her over onto her back and, looking into her eyes, said, “Mel, you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I’m going to make you so happy, you won’t be able to stand it. You’re going to wake up singing every morning.”

“I already do, Jack.”