Until the Sun Falls from the Sky (The Three #1)(142)

Oh God!

He didn’t.

I didn’t expect this. I never dreamed he didn’t feel the same as me. I could rejoice in the time we had, albeit short, if he returned my feelings.

I couldn’t bear it if he did not.

I didn’t know what to do.

But my body knew what to do and it prepared for escape.

Lucien felt it and in a nanosecond I was on my back with Lucien on top of me.

I knew I had no shot at getting away from him so I did the only thing I could do. I turned my head away and closed my eyes tight.

God. God.

My vampire didn’t love me.

“Sweetling, look at me,” Lucien urged softly.

“Please, get off me,” I whispered and my voice sounded funny too. Rough. Tortured.

His big hand slid between my cheek and the pillow and he whispered, “Leah, sweetheart, please, look at me.”

I didn’t look at him but I said quietly, “I shouldn’t have said it. Forget I said it.”

“Look at me.”

“It didn’t happen. Just wipe it from your mind. Go to your meeting. We’ll both forget it and everything will be okay,” I whispered desperately.

“Leah, please look at me.”

It was then it occurred to me that his hand was cupping my face but he wasn’t forcing me to do what he wished. And it was then I opened my eyes, turned my head and looked at him.

I shouldn’t have done it. His handsome face was gentle and God, God, more beautiful than ever. His eyes were warm and openly troubled and that looked good on him too.

“I must attend this meeting,” he said gently. “It’s important or I wouldn’t leave you. Not now. Not when it’s essential we talk about a variety of things.”

I didn’t want to talk about a variety of things. I wanted to curl up in a ball somewhere and remind myself to stop being my… f*cking… self. Doing stupid shit. Getting myself in trouble. Breaking my own f**king heart.

“Leah, did you hear me?” he asked.

“Yes,” I whispered.

“I’ll make this meeting short. I’ll get home as soon as I can and we’ll talk.”

“Okay,” I agreed knowing I’d take the time he was gone trying to figure out how I could get out of that talk even knowing I’d never get out of that talk.

“We should have talked before,” he told me, his thumb sweeping the apple of my cheek. “I knew that. We didn’t because I was enjoying you and I didn’t want that to interfere.”

He was enjoying me.

God, how could I forget? I was his meal. His f**k buddy. His pet.

God! How could I forget?

I should have remembered. I should never have f**king forgot.

It took everything I had, everything, but I fought back the sting of tears in my eyes and the ball of fire burning in my throat.

When I accomplished this herculean task, I whispered, “Go to your meeting. We’ll talk when you get back.”

“Back home,” he returned immediately and I blinked.

“What?”

“When I get back home.”

I knew what he was saying and it felt like he’d plunged a knife in my gut.

Why did he persist in this? Expecting me to give everything while holding himself away.

“Yes, when you get back home,” I forced out.

His face dipped closer and I braced, every part of me. I knew he felt it. I knew he heard my heart stuttering, my breath coming uneven. I knew he felt my body tightening. I knew it because I knew he had those abilities. And I knew it when I saw his face get even gentler, his eyes warmer and more troubled.

God, why wouldn’t he just go away?

“I told you what we had would be beautiful,” he reminded me, twisting that knife he left in my gut, making me bleed. “And I knew even before you said what you said earlier that you finally understood what I was giving to you. Now, you must understand our future.”

He was wrong.

I already understood it. I always understood it.

I just chose to ignore it.

Stupidly, as usual. Stupid, stupid, stupidly.

“Okay,” I agreed quietly.

His eyes roamed over my face as his thumb moved over my cheek then he captured my gaze and whispered, “It will still be beautiful.”

Wrong again.

“I promise, Leah,” he continued softly.

Fucking liar.

“Okay,” I repeated.

His eyes again roamed my face before coming back to mine.

Then, in perfect Lucien style, he demanded, “Kiss your vampire before I go.”

His words sliced that knife up from my gut right through me, carving me open, laying me bare.

But I did what I was told. Wrapping my arms around his shoulders, I lifted my head the inch it needed to press my lips against his. His opened as did mine.

That was when I kissed him hard, wet, long, giving him everything I had, showing him exactly how I felt, offering him everything that was me. And I did it because that was how I’d been kissing him since this began, at first against my will then gleefully.

But that was the last.

He’d never get that from me again.

Never.

When he tore his mouth from mine, he immediately shoved his face in my neck. His arms again locked around me, his weight heavy on me and he growled, “Fuck, Leah,” against my skin.