Until We Touch (Fool's Gold #15)(90)

He reached for the letters, the notes, the cards. Larissa documented all that they did. She’d visited Jeffrey and his family three times. She’d arranged for the rest of the family to be flown in over the holidays, and when Jeffrey was discharged and ready to start acting like the healthy little boy he now was, she’d set up a trip to Disneyland.

There was a thank-you note from Jeffrey’s mother, addressed to him. She mentioned his generosity, his compassion. She said she knew about his brother and the loss the family had suffered and appreciated how he’d turned that into a blessing for them.

There were more boxes. Dozens of them, all filled with letters and pictures and mementos, like the ratty giraffe. There was a photo of him at a high-school prom because the girl they were helping was seventeen and she’d been away in hospitals for so long she didn’t have any friends, let alone a boyfriend. So Larissa had talked him into taking her to the dance.

So many people helped, he thought. In such a short period of time. And these were only the humans. If he added the cats and owl and chiweenies to the mix, they were well into three figures. Hundreds of souls saved because he was a sucker for Larissa and she wanted to save the world.

He leaned back against the sofa and closed his eyes. He could imagine every part of her. How she sounded, how she moved, how she smelled. He ached for her. Not just in his bed, but in his life. He’d pushed her away because... Because...

He remembered his high-school football coach lecturing the team and the lesson that had stuck with him through his entire career was a simple one. “You are either the solution or you are the problem.”

Jack had always been part of the solution. Whether it was how to break a losing streak or save a young PR associate who didn’t have anywhere to live, he was front and center with the fixing. It made him feel good. It helped him belong. It kept him safe.

Taryn was right, he thought grimly. The reason Lucas had heart disease was he had a heart in the first place. Jack was all flash. He looked good on the poster, but in a crunch, the best you could count on was that he would write a check. Taryn held Score together, Larissa made him a hero by caring. But what did he bring to the table?

You’re either the solution or you’re the problem. Somewhere along the way, he’d become the problem.

He didn’t want to risk caring. He got that. He knew why. He could list the reasons and most people would probably agree with them. They would think he was being smart. Careful. Reasonable. But the price for that was everything he had now. The price for that was nothing.

He opened the first box again and stared at the tattered giraffe. Jeffery had given it to Larissa to thank her for all she’d done. In turn, she’d given it to him because, as she put it, he made it all possible. But she was wrong. He was only along for the ride. She was the one who made everything possible. He was a sucker for Larissa. He knew that. Had always known it. Whatever she wanted, he was all in. She only had to call and he was there. She was the one person he would stop anything for.

He stood up and swore. He was in love with her. Based on his actions, he’d loved her from the first moment he’d met her. Only he’d been too stupid to realize it. Or too afraid. Larissa’s mother had missed the mark by 50 percent. Larissa wasn’t just in love with him. He was in love with her.

He started for the door of his office only to stop. What if it was too late? What if he’d screwed up everything to the point where it couldn’t be unscrewed? What if she wouldn’t forgive him?

“She has to,” he said aloud. There was no other choice. He needed to be with her. He needed to show her that he was exactly who she’d always claimed he could be. She’d seen the best in him when he’d never seen it himself. Now he had to live up to what she’d always believed.

He showered and dressed, then drove out to the university. It took a little convincing but he finally got in to see President Newham, even though he didn’t have an appointment.

“How can I help you, Mr. McGarry?” she asked.

“I’m here about the coaching job,” he told her.

“You made it very clear you weren’t interested. You said you were the last man we should pick.”

“I was wrong,” he told her, then wondered how many times he was going to have to say that again today.

An hour later, he parked in front of Paper Moon. While what he needed was on the bridal side, he happened to know Isabel spent most of her time in the part of the store with the regular clothes, so he started there.

The tall blonde was just finishing up with a customer when he entered. Her quick, cold glance told him word had spread all through the female community of Fool’s Gold. What he didn’t know was whether she was pissed at him for what he’d said to Taryn, Larissa or both.

When her customer left, she crossed to him. “What do you want?”

“I need to rent a dress.”

“We don’t rent dresses.”

“Fine. I’ll buy one. A bridesmaid gown.”

Her gaze narrowed. “Why?”

“To make a point. Please. Just sell me a dress.”

“The only one I have is five thousand dollars.”

He handed her his credit card.

Her lips pressed together. “You’re an idiot. I don’t have five-thousand-dollar bridesmaids’ dresses.” She walked past him. “Come with me.”