Untamed (House of Night #4)(38)

She chewed he lip. "I don't remember hardly anything. I just got a quick glimpse of him." My heart was beating hard, and my head was dizzy from the sudden rush of hope that washed over me. "But that means he's not really dead. Or at least not all the way dead. You saw him in a vision of the future, so he has to be around in the future. He's coming back!"

"Not necessarily," she said gently. "Zoey, the future is fluid--it's always changing. I mean, I saw you die twice. Once alone because you were isolated from your friends. Well, they're back to being your moronic Three Musketeers." She paused and added, "Sorry. I know you've been through a bunch of shit tonight. I didn't mean to sound so hateful. But here's the deal. Because the nerd--I mean because you're not isolated anymore, the Zoey-being-killed-alone vision is probably null and void. See, the future changed. When I had the vision that Stark was in at that time he might have been going to live. That could be all changed now."

"But not necessarily?"

"Not necessarily," she agreed reluctantly. "But don't get your hopes up. I'm just Vision Girl, not an expert on stuff like fledglings coming back alive."

"Then what we need is an expert on this whole dead/undead thing." I tried not to sound too hopeful, but I could tell by the sad way Aphrodite looked at me that I wasn't hiding much from her.

"Yeah, well, I hate to say it, but you're right. You need to talk to Stevie Rae."

"I'll go back to my room and call her and have her meet us at Street Cats tomorrow. You think you can keep Darius busy while I talk to her?"

"Oh, please. I'll do more than keep him busy. I'll keep him totally occupied." She purred the words.

"Ugh. Whatever. I just don't want to hear it or see it." Moving on a tide of optimism, I grabbed my brown pop.

"Not a problem there. I'll be happy to keep it private."

"Again I say ugh." I headed to the door. "Hey, how did you get rid of the Twins tonight? Am I going to have to do damage control tomorrow?"

"Simple. I told them if they stayed that we'd be giving each other spa pedicures, and that I was first in line."

"Yeah, I see why they bolted."

Suddenly Aphrodite turned serious. "Zoey, I mean it. Don't get your hopes up about Stark. You know that even if he comes back, he might not be the same. Stevie Rae says the red fledglings are better now, and they are, but they're not normal, and neither is she."

"I know all of that, Aphrodite, but I still say Stevie Rae is fine."

"And I still say we're going to have to agree to disagree about her. I just want you to be careful. Stark's not--"

"Don't!" I put up my hand to cut off her words. "Let me have a little bit of hope. I want to believe there might be a chance for him."

Aphrodite nodded slowly. "I know you do, and that's what worries me."

"I'm too tired to talk about this anymore," I said.

"Okay, I understand. Just think about what I've said." I started to open the door, and she added, "Do you want to stay here tonight? You wouldn't be alone." "Nah, but thanks. And I'm not really alone in a dorm full of fledglings." With my hand on the knob, I looked over my shoulder at Aphrodite. "Thanks for taking care of me. I do feel better. A lot better."

She waved away my thanks and looked embarrassed. Then sounding more like herself she said, "Don't worry about it. Just figure once you're queen, you'll owe me."

Stevie Rae didn't answer her phone. It went straight to her perky, countrified voice mail. I didn't leave a message. What could I say, "Hi, Stevie Rae. It's Zoey. Hey, a fledgling just bled to death in my arms tonight, and I want to know what happens now. Is he going to come back as an undead dead bloodsucking monster, or is he going to be just kinda odd like you say your fledglings are, or is he gonna stay dead? I'd like to know 'cause even though I just met him, I really care about him. Okay, so call me back!" Uh, no. That wouldn't work.

I sat heavily on my bed and had just begun to wish Nala would show up when my kitty door opened, and my grumpy girl "meeuf-owed" her way across the room, jumped up on my bed, and curled up on my chest, pressing her face against my neck and purring like crazy.

"I'm really, really glad to see you." I petted her ears and kissed the white spot over her nose. "How's Duchess?" She blinked at me, sneezed, and then pressed her head against me and purred some more. I took that to mean the dog was being well taken care of by Jack and Damien.

Feeling better now that Nala was working her purr magic on me, I tried to lose myself in the book I was reading, Ink Exchange by my current favorite vamp author, Melissa Marr, but not even her hot fairies could keep my attention from wandering.

What was I thinking about? Stark, of course. I touched my lips, still feeling his kiss there. What was wrong with me? Why was I letting Stark affect me so much? Okay, yes. He'd died in my arms and that had been awful, truly awful. But there was more than that going on between us, or at least I thought there might be. I closed my eyes and sighed. I didn't need to care about another guy. I wasn't over Erik or Heath.

Okay, the truth was I wasn't over Loren.

No, I wasn't in love with Loren. What I wasn't over was the pain he'd caused me. My heart still hurt, and it wasn't ready to let another guy in.