Untamed (House of Night #4)(21)

"You need me to help you figure out something about a candle?"

"No, genius. Sometimes I really wonder about Nyx's choices." She handed me the little gold lighter. "I want you to help me figure out if I've lost my affinity for earth."

Chapter Eight

I looked from the green candle to Aphrodite. Her face was pale and her lips were compressed into a thin bloodless line. "You haven't tried to evoke earth since you lost your Mark?" I asked gently.

She shook her head and continued to look like her stomach hurt.

"Okay, well, you're right. I can help you figure this out. I should probably cast a circle."

"That's what I thought." Aphrodite drew in a deep shaky breath. "Let's get this over with." She walked over to the wall that was on the opposite side of the room as her bed. She stood there, holding up her candle. "This is north."

"All right." Resolutely, I went to stand in front of Aphrodite. Turning to the east, I closed my eyes and centered myself. "It fills our lungs and gives us life. I call air to my circle." Even without a yellow candle representing the element--and without Damien and his air affinity--I felt the instant response of the element as a soft breeze smoothed against my body.

I opened my eyes and turned to my right, moving deosil, or clockwise, around the circle to the south, where I stopped. "It heats us and keeps us safe and warm. I call fire to my circle." I smiled as the air around me warmed with the second element.

Moving again to my right, I stopped next in the west. "It washes us and quenches us. I call water to my circle." Right away I felt the cool of invisible waves against my legs. Smiling, I moved to stand in front of Aphrodite.

"Ready?" I asked her.

She nodded and closed her eyes and raised the green candle that represented her element.

"It sustains us and surrounds us. I call earth to my circle." I flicked the lighter and held the little flame to the candle.

"Ow, shit!" Aphrodite cried. She dropped the candle as if it had stung her. It shattered against the wood floor at her feet. When her eyes lifted from looking at the ruined glass and candle mess, I saw that they were filled with tears. "I've lost it." Her voice was little more than a whisper as the tears spilled over and down her cheeks. "Nyx took it away from me. I knew she would. I knew I wasn't good enough for her to gift me with an affinity for something as amazing as the element earth."

"I don't believe that's what's happened," I said.

"But you saw it. I'm not earth anymore. Nyx won't let me represent the element," she sobbed.

"I don't mean that you still have your earth affinity. What I mean is I don't think Nyx took it away from you because you're not worthy."

"But I'm not," Aphrodite said brokenly. "I just don't believe that. Here, let me show you."

I took a small step back from her. This time without Aphrodite's candle, I said, "It sustains and surrounds us. I call earth to my circle."

The scents and sounds of a spring meadow instantly surrounded me. Trying to ignore the fact that what I was doing was making Aphrodite cry even harder, I walked to the center of my invisible circle and called the last of the five elements to me. "It is what we are before we're born, and what we eventually return to. I call spirit to my circle." My soul sang within me as the final element filled me.

Holding tightly to the power that always came to me when I evoked the elements, I raised my arms over my head. I tilted my head up, seeing not the ceiling over me, but imagining through it to the velvet darkness of the all-encompassing night sky. And I prayed--not the way my mom and her husband, the step-loser, pray, all filled with fake humbleness and with lots of decorative amens and whatnot. I didn't change who I was when I prayed. I talked to my Goddess just like I would talk to my grandma or my best friend.

I like to believe Nyx appreciates my honesty.

"Nyx, from this place of power you have given me, I ask that you hear my prayer. Aphrodite has lost a lot, and I don't think that's because you don't care about her anymore. I think there's something else going on here, and I really wish you'd let her know that you're still with her--no matter what."

Nothing happened. I drew a deep breath and centered myself again. I'd heard Nyx's voice before. I mean, sometimes she actually talked to me. Sometimes I just got feelings about things. Either would be okay right now, I added that little part of my prayer silently. Then I tried to concentrate even harder. I closed my eyes and listened so hard within that I was squidging my eyes and holding my breath. Actually, I was listening so hard, I almost didn't hear Aphrodite's shocked gasp.

I opened my eyes, and my mouth flopped open along with them.

Floating between Aphrodite and me was the shimmering silver image of a beautiful woman. Later, when Aphrodite and I tried to describe to each other exactly what she'd looked like, we realized we couldn't remember any details except that we both said she'd looked like spirit suddenly made visible--which really wasn't any description at all.

"Nyx!" I said.

The Goddess smiled at me, and I thought my heart would pound out of my chest with happiness. "Greetings, my u-we-tsi-a-ge-ya" she said, using the Cherokee word for "daughter," just like my grandma often did. "You were right to call me. You should follow your true instinct more often, Zoey. It will never lead you wrong."