Untamed (House of Night #4)(15)

I didn't say anything. I couldn't. What I was thinking was too awful to speak out loud. I was afraid that the syllables of the words would turn into separate little weapons, and if I put them together, they would join to destroy all of us.

"What is it?" Aphrodite was watching me too closely.

"Nothing." I shifted the words in my mind so that they became something bearable. "It's just that this whole thing makes me think that Neferet has been hoping there would be a reason to fight the humans for a long time. I really wouldn't be surprised if she did create the undead dead kids to be her private army. I saw her with Elliott not long after he was supposed to have died. It was disgusting how much control she had over him." I shivered, remembering only too clearly how Neferet had ordered Elliott around and how he had bowed and scraped in front of her, and then lapped up the offering of her blood in a disgusting and way-too-sexual manner. Watching it had been entirely nasty.

"That's why I have to go back to them," Stevie Rae said. "They need me to care about them and show them that they can Change, too. When Neferet finds out about the difference in their Marks, she'll still try to control them and keep them--well, let's just say, not so nice. I think they can be okay again, like I'm okay again."

"What about the ones who were never okay? Remember the Elliott kid Zoey was just talking about? He was a loser alive and he's a loser undead. He'll still be a loser if he manages to Change into a red whatever." Aphrodite gave an exaggerated, long-suffering sigh when Stevie Rae glared at her. "The point I'm trying to make is that they weren't normal to begin with. Maybe there's nothing for you to save about them." "Aphrodite, you don't get to pick who's worth saving and who's not. I may have been a pretty normal kid before I died, but I'm not exactly normal now," Stevie Rae said. "And I was worth saving!"

"Nyx," I said, making both of them turn to look at me with question marks on their faces. "Nyx gets to pick who's worth saving. Not me, not Stevie Rae, and not even you, Aphrodite."

"Guess I forgot about Nyx," Aphrodite said, turning her face away from us to hide the pain in her eyes. "It's not like the Goddess wants much to do with a human kid anyway."

"That's not true," I said. "Nyx's hand is still on you, Aphrodite. The Goddess is majorly at work here. If she didn't care about you, she would have taken away your visions when she took away your Mark." As I spoke, I got that feeling I often get when I absolutely know I'm saying the right thing. Aphrodite was a pain in the ass, but for some reason, she was important to our Goddess.

Aphrodite's eyes met mine. "Are you guessing about that, or do you know?"

"I know." I continued to meet her eyes steadily.

"Promise?" she said.

"Promise."

"Well, that's nice and all, Aphrodite," Stevie Rae said, "but you should keep in mind that you're not exactly normal, either."

"But I am attractive, properly bathed, and I do not scuttle around in really yucky old tunnels snarling and snapping my teeth at visitors."

"Which brings up another point. Why were you down in the tunnels?" I asked Aphrodite.

She rolled her eyes. "Because Miss K 95.5 FM over there just had to cowboy up and follow me."

"Well, you freaked when your Mark disappeared, and unlike some people, I'm not a witch with a capital B. Plus, it might have kinda been my fault you lost your Mark and it was the right thing to do to make sure you were okay," said Stevie Rae.

"You bit me, dork," Aphrodite said. "Of course it was your fault."

"I already said sorry 'bout that."

"Uh, guys, could we please stay on the subject?"

"Fine. I went down to the stupid tunnels because your stupid BFF was going to burn the hell up if we got caught out in the daylight."

"But how come you stayed away for two days?"

Aphrodite looked uncomfortable. "It took me a couple days to decide if I should come back at all. Besides that, I had to help Stevie Rae buy some stuff for the tunnels and the freaks down there. Even I couldn't just leave and let them be all"--she paused and shuddered delicately for effect--"all eeeew."

"We're really not used to having visitors yet," Stevie Rae said.

"You mean except for the people your friends like to eat?" Aphrodite said.

"Stevie Rae, you really can't let those kids eat people. Not even street people," I added.

"I know. That's another reason I need to get back to them." "You need to bring Merry Maids and a good interior decorating team with you," Aphrodite muttered. "I'd offer you the services of my parents' help, but your buds might eat them, and as my mom would say, good illegals are really hard to find."

"I'm not gonna let the kids eat people anymore, and I'm working on getting the tunnels in order," Stevie Rae said defensively.

I remembered way too well how creepy those dark, dirty tunnels were. "Stevie Rae, isn't there someplace else we could figure out for you and your, uh, red fledglings to stay?"

"No!" she said quickly, and then smiled an apology at me. "See, the thing is that being underground feels right to me, and to them. We need to be inside the earth." She cut her eyes over at Aphrodite, who was wrinkling her nose at Stevie Rae and making an eew face. "Yes, I know that's not normal, but I told you I'm not normal!"