Undenied (Unspoken #3)(4)

“Shut up,” he growled.

She giggled and gestured for him to carry on.

“By all rights I should have been all sorts of turned-on. I mean I had a handful of luscious woman in my arms. She’s kissing me. Her br**sts, gorgeous br**sts by the way, were all pressed up against me. And…”

“And?” Gracie prompted.

“Nothing. Absolutely nothing. I think I may have lost an inch or two my dick shriveled so quick. I think it may have gone into permanent hiding.”

Gracie pressed her lips tight together and her body shook with silent laughter. “Uhm, Wes, you could stand to lose an inch or two and still be better off than most of the male populous.”

Again, he felt heat slide up his neck much like nails on a chalkboard.

“Okay, I’ll strive to be more serious. Hard, though, when you give me openings like that,” she cracked. “So how, pray tell, did this dick shriveling incident lead you to the conclusion that you must suck in bed?”

“Well, there’s more to the story,” he said grudgingly.

“Aha, so now we get to the good part.”

“Shut up, Gracie.”

She held her hands up in surrender. “Continue on.”

He raised a hand to his hair then slid it down the back of his head to his neck. “Do you remember Payton Ricci from high school? She was two years behind us.”

Gracie scrunched her face into a thoughtful expression. “Huh uh, doesn’t ring a bell.”

“Well, I had a major crush on her the summer after my senior year. We, uhm, well we had sex. I was her first.” He winced at the memory. “To make a long story short, it was a disaster. I hurt her. To date, it has to go down as one of the most awkward moments of my life.”

Gracie’s lip formed an “O”. “And Payton is the chick from the bar tonight?”

He nodded.

“And you can’t get past the fact that you once had disastrous sex together?”

“Evidently not,” he muttered. “I mean, don’t get me wrong. It’s not like I’ve spent the last twelve years agonizing over it, but when I saw her, all I could remember is the look on her face, her crying out and the tears

afterward. I felt like complete shit then, and I feel like complete shit now.”

A light of understanding blazed in Gracie’s eyes. “Wes, was that what all that stuff was about at the cabin? You seemed overly concerned that you’d hurt me.”

He didn’t say anything, but then he didn’t have to.

She pursed her lips and blew out a long breath. “Wow. I don’t know what to say. I can understand why you feel bad, but damn, she was a virgin. Despite what a whole host of romance books might tell you—okay, me—since I’m sure you aren’t reading them, the first time for a woman is often a combination of messy and uncomfortable. Throw in a more- endowed-than-average guy, and you get even more of messy and uncomfortable.”

“What was your first time like?” he asked, unable to resist his curiosity. And maybe he needed for her to say it had been as awful as it had to have been for Payton.

She chuckled. “Forgettable. That’s the experience in a nutshell. A few kisses, he touched my boobs, got between my legs and ten seconds later it was all over with.”

He cringed. “That sounds eerily familiar, but damn it, I’d never seen that much female flesh up close and personal. I’m not even sure I made it all the way in before I went off like a damn machine gun.”

Gracie laughed and put her hand on his arm. “Wes, you’re being way too hard on yourself. You were eighteen. Most eighteen-year-olds haven’t climbed the ranks to considerate-lover status yet. I’d say you more than made up for it in the years since.”

“I just wish A) she hadn’t popped out of nowhere and B) that she hadn’t been so nice or acted like she was so damn glad to see me. I was more than happy to keep that incident out of my mind. No guy likes to have his sexual failures shoved under his nose like that.”

“But she didn’t shove it under your nose. You said she acted genuinely glad to see you. Have you thought that maybe that experience was far more traumatic for you than it ever was for her?”

“Gracie, I hurt her. A girl’s first time shouldn’t be like that. I made her cry for God’s sake.”

“All I’m saying is that, in all likelihood, she views that experience much the same as most women do. Not great but not the end of the world.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know. I just picture all her girlfriends asking who was that? And then she says, oh that was the dumbass I gave my virginity to, the dumbass who had as much finesse as a toad.”

Gracie lost all control and started laughing. “So this boils down to your fragile male ego. You don’t want it to get out that you weren’t always a god in bed.”

“I fail to see what’s so damn funny,” he muttered.

“Let me be the first to burst your bubble, stud.” Her eyes twinkled in devilish merriment, and he knew without a doubt, she was having way too much fun at his expense. “A lot of guys suck in bed. They don’t think they do. Ask them and they’re God’s gift to women. Ask women and you get a whole different story. I know. I’ve been through enough losers. Oh, they all thought they were the world’s greatest lover, but for the most part, it was all I could do not to fall asleep during their version of foreplay, which usually consisted of ‘suck my dick’.”