Two of a Kind (Fool's Gold #11)(30)

She paused, hoping the joke made sense. Denise laughed and took a seat. Felicia settled behind the desk, relieved she’d managed to be a little funny. Humor was so complicated, she thought. Nuanced and subjective. She preferred situations where she could predict the outcome.

Denise leaned forward. “I want to rent a booth in the Fourth of July festival. Is it rent or lease? I don’t know the exact terminology. But I want a booth.”

“The city requires an application,” Felicia told her. “It’s a fairly straightforward process. Will you be cooking and serving food? That makes it more complicated. There are sanitation laws and the like.”

“No food,” Denise assured her. “I want to set up a booth so I can find a wife for Ford.”

Felicia stared at her. She must have misheard the other woman’s statement. Or not understood precisely what she meant because...

Denise sighed. “You think I’m crazy.”

“No, ma’am.”

“All right. Not crazy, but misguided.” Denise shrugged. “I can accept that. I refuse to get desperate, so I’m taking matters into my own hands.”

Another cliché, Felicia thought still stunned. “It helps to be in control,” she said, not knowing what else to say.

“Exactly.” Denise nodded. “Ford was gone for so long. I missed him every day. I know why he left and I can’t really blame him, but now that he’s home I want to keep him around. So I thought if he fell in love and got married to a local girl, he’d want to stay. From what I can tell, he’s not dating, which means this is going to take a while. That’s when I realized I don’t technically need him to find the right girl. I can find her for him.”

Felicia honestly didn’t know how to respond. This time it wasn’t her lack of social conditioning that had her silent, but the fact that her brain had suddenly, unexpectedly, gone completely blank.

“Does Ford know that you—”

“Plan to marry him off?” Denise shook her head. “No. He’ll find out soon enough, but by then it will be too late. Oh, and I’m going to find someone for Kent, too. He has finally given up on that ex-wife of his. Thank goodness. Lorraine turned out to be a total bitch. I could forgive her walking out on her marriage. It’s wrong, but, okay, relationships fail. But she walked out on her son, on my grandson, and that crosses a line in my book.”

Felicia felt as if she’d lost the ability to reason. There was too much going on and she didn’t know which thought to address first.

“I, ah...”

Denise smiled. “I thought I’d decorate the booth simply. Maybe with an eye-catching sign. ‘Do you want to marry this man?’ or something like that. I’ll have baby pictures of my two boys to show the women. That way they’d have an idea of what their children will look like.” She leaned forward and lowered her voice conspiratorially. “It’s all about the grandchildren. Kent has Reese and Ethan has Tyler and Melissa and Abby. My girls are all married with children. Ford owes me. I want him married, and if he won’t take care of that on his own, I’ll do it for him.”

She reached down and pulled a folder from her purse. “I have a list of traits I’m looking for. I was thinking I’d have the young women fill out an application and then I’d sort through them myself.” She handed over a piece of paper.

Felicia glanced at it. Sure enough, it was an application for a wife. The three-page document was surprisingly thorough. There was a medical history, a place to explain about previous relationships, along with a few lines about future goals.

“Intelligence passes through the mother,” Felicia murmured. “You might want to confirm their educational history.”

“Thanks. I will.” Denise looked at her. “So, can I have a booth?”

“Sure.”

Felicia stood and collected the papers necessary for the permit. “There’s still time for you to have space in the Fourth of July festival,” she said.

“Good. I want to be in a heavy traffic area. I know the right girl is out there for each of my boys, and I’m going to find her.”

Felicia couldn’t decide if she wanted to be around when Ford found out what his mother was doing, or somewhere far away. She knew Consuelo would laugh herself sick when she learned what was happening.

Denise took the sheets of paper. “Thank you for all your help.”

“You’re welcome.”

The other woman left.

Felicia turned back to her computer only to realize that Denise had never once considered her for either of her “boys.” She was single, intelligent and reasonably attractive. Yet Denise hadn’t said a word or even hinted she would be welcome into the Hendrix family.

Why was that? Could the other woman tell by looking at Felicia that she didn’t fit in? Was it a Mom thing? It wasn’t that she wanted to date Ford and she’d never met Kent, but still. Shouldn’t she be able to make the short list?

Apparently not, she thought sadly. Which meant if she wanted to fall in love and have a family, she was going to have to figure out how to be more normal. She was going to have to fit in better. And she only knew one way to make that happen.

* * *

“BE FAITHFUL, GENTLEMEN,” Gideon said into the microphone. “Or you know what will happen.” He pushed a button and Elvis’s “Suspicious Minds” began to play. He chuckled to himself as he stretched in his chair.