Touched by Angels (Angels Everywhere #3)(85)

“Don’t be ridiculous,” he snapped. “Of course I love you. I think you’re wonderful. You’ll make me a good wife, you’re supportive and—”

“You’re doing it again,” she cried, clenching her fists at her sides. Hannah so seldom raised her voice that it shocked even her.

Carl looked genuinely baffled. “I don’t understand. Hannah, listen, tell me whatever it is that you find offensive. I can change.”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“But of course it matters. I realize that marriage is an important step and you’re bound to have second thoughts, every woman does. Now it’s true,” he said, and raised his right hand with a dismissive gesture, “that I’ve been wrapped up in my own problems of late. I haven’t paid you nearly enough attention, have I? Naturally you’re feeling short-changed in the romance department, and frankly I don’t blame you.”

“Carl,” she whispered, “you don’t love me.”

“Nonsense. I asked you to marry me, didn’t I?”

“Okay,” she whispered, her patience wearing paper thin. “Let’s try this from a different angle. I can’t marry you, Carl, because I don’t love you.”

He laughed. The man had the nerve to actually laugh aloud.

Dumbfounded, all Hannah could do was stare at him.

“Of course you love me,” he countered, sounding relieved. He placed his hand on his chest as if to restrain the bubbling amusement welling up inside him. “Hannah, these doubts of yours are only natural. I had them, too.”

“And now you don’t?”

“Occasionally,” he was willing to admit. “But I’ve worked through those feelings, and given time, you will, too.”

Hannah had hoped that she could talk to Carl without telling him about Joshua. It was one thing to break the engagement and something else entirely to mention she’d fallen in love with another man. She’d hoped to spare Carl that.

“The problem as I see it,” Carl said, talking to her as he would one of his students, “is that people are rarely willing to see through their difficulties. Our society is caught up in fast-food restaurants, ‘pay later’ mentality, and instant gratification. My dear Hannah, what you’re feeling isn’t so difficult to understand. But we’ve made a commitment to each other, and we can’t treat it lightly.”

“Carl, I’m terminating our engagement.” She couldn’t say it any plainer than that.

“It’s times such as these that we need to hold on to each other instead of letting go of the most important relationship of our lives.”

Hannah’s heart was pounding so hard and fast, it felt as though her ribs were about to break. “I’ve met someone else,” she said forcefully.

Her words stopped Carl cold. His eyes narrowed. “Who?”

“You don’t know him.”

“Don’t be so sure. Tell me his name.”

“What does it matter what his name is?” she demanded. “I love him and he loves me.”

Looking completely taken aback, Carl pulled out a kitchen chair and slumped onto it.

“To be honest, Carl, I didn’t think you’d care.”

“Not care?” he cried as though her comment had outraged him. “Of course I care. Some man, some stranger, has stolen my bride, and you seem to think that it really shouldn’t matter.”

Hannah knew it was his ego speaking and was sorrier than she could say. “If you’re looking to blame anyone, blame me,” she told him gently. “I never intended to tell you about him, but then I couldn’t make you listen, and—”

His head jerked up. “You weren’t going to tell me?”

“All I wanted to do was break the engagement, but you refused to believe me . . . you weren’t hearing me.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. I heard every word you said.”

Hannah wasn’t going to get into an argument with him, but this was too much. “You keep discounting me, offering excuses and reasons for my wanting to call off the engagement. You’ve given me no option but to tell you about Joshua.”

“Joshua . . .” He repeated the name as if he were reading it off a post office poster.

“I’m genuinely sorry.”

“You’re serious? This isn’t some stupid joke?”

“I can’t marry you, Carl, nor can I go on pretending I love you.”

The silence that followed fell like a butcher’s cleaver into the middle of the room.

Carl reached for his jacket, swinging it over his shoulders like a shawl in his rush to get away from her. “Do your parents know?”

Hannah hesitated. “They will soon enough.”

He walked toward the stairway, his steps abrupt and urgent. “If this other man is who you love, then all I can say is you’re welcome to him. Just don’t come crying to me when you’ve regained your senses.”

“Joshua isn’t going to break my heart,” she assured him softly. “I realize this is painful, Carl, but I’d like it if we could be friends.”

“Friends?” he echoed as though it were a ridiculous suggestion. “You’ve got to be kidding. Frankly, Hannah, I doubt that I’ll ever want to see you again.” Having said that, he stormed out of the apartment, slamming the door behind him. The pictures on the walls shook with the force of his exit.