To Taste Temptation (Legend of the Four Soldiers #1)(97)

She blinked fuzzily. “But you’re not absolutely sure.”

He shook his head decisively and drained the glass. “Thornton is a born liar. It’s impossible to tell whether he really had nothing to do with the massacre or not. He may not know himself—liars have a way of coming to believe their own lies. I doubt we’ll ever be absolutely certain.”

“But”—Rebecca stifled a yawn—“you came halfway around the world to find the truth, to put the massacre to rest. Doesn’t it bother you that Thornton might not be the traitor?”

“No. Not anymore.”

“I don’t understand.”

A smile flickered across his face. “I’ve come to the conclusion that I can never erase Spinner’s Falls entirely from my mind. It’s not possible for me.”

“But that’s awful! How—”

He held up a hand to halt her worried protest. “But what I’ve learned is that I can live with the memory. That the memory is part of me.”

She stared at him worriedly. “That sounds terrible, Samuel. To live with that all your life.”

“It’s not so bad,” he said softly. “I’ve already lived six years fighting with my memories. I think if anything, it’ll be better now that I know the memories are part of who I am.”

She sighed. “I don’t understand, but if you’re at peace, I’m glad.”

“I am.”

They sat in companionable silence for a few minutes. Rebecca began to half doze. A log popped in the fire, and she remembered that there was something else to discuss with her brother before she fell asleep.

“She loves you, you know.”

He didn’t say anything, so Rebecca opened her eyes to see if he’d fallen asleep. He was gazing into the fire, his hands clasped loosely in his lap.

“I said, she loves you.”

“I heard.”

“Well?” She sighed gustily and a little grumpily. “Aren’t you going to do something about it? Our ship sails tomorrow.”

“I know.” He got up finally and stretched, wincing as something pulled in his side. “You’re about to fall asleep in that chair, and then I’ll have to carry you to bed like a little girl.” He held out his hand.

She placed her hand in his. “I’m not a little girl.”

“I know that,” he said softly. He drew her up to stand before him. “You’re my sister grown into a lovely and interesting lady.”

“Humph.” She wrinkled her nose at him.

He hesitated, then took her other hand and rubbed the backs of her fingers with his thumbs. “I’ll bring you back to England again soon, if you like, so that you can see Mr. Green or any other gentleman you might be interested in. I have no intention of crushing your hopes there.”

“I don’t really have hopes.”

He frowned. “If you’re worried about our lack of pedigree, I think—”

“No, it’s not that.” She looked down to watch his large hands holding hers. His hands were tanned even though they’d been in England for weeks now.

“Then what?”

“I like Mr. Green,” she said carefully, “and if you want me to continue seeing him...”

He tugged at her hands until she looked up. “Why should it matter to me if you see Mr. Green or not?”

“I thought...” Oh, this was embarrassing! “I thought that you wanted me to encourage him or a man like him. I thought you might like the fact that he’s an English-society gentleman, even though he has a silly laugh. It’s just so hard to tell what you want.”

“What I want is for you to be happy,” he said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. “I might object if you take a liking to a rat-catcher or an eighty-year-old grandfather, but other than that, I don’t much care who you marry.”

Rebecca bit her lip. Men were so obtuse! “But I want your approval.”

He leaned close to her. “You already have my approval. Now you need to start thinking about what you approve of.”

“That makes it very much harder,” she sighed, but she smiled as she said it.

He tucked her hand into the crook of his arm. “That’s good. Then you won’t be making any hasty decisions.” They started up the dim stairs.

“Mmm.” Rebecca muffled a yawn. “I do have a favor to ask.”

“What’s that?”

“Can you offer O’Hare a job?”

He looked down at her quizzically.

“I mean in America.” She held her breath.

“I suppose I can,” he said musingly. “But there’s no guarantee that he’ll accept it.”

“Oh, he will,” she said with certainty. “Thank you, Samuel.”

“You’re welcome,” he replied. They were at her bedroom door now. “Good night.”

“Good night.” She watched as he turned toward his own rooms. “You will speak to Lady Emeline, won’t you?” she called anxiously after him.

But he didn’t seem to hear.

THE SUN WAS shining through her window when Emeline woke the next morning. She stared at it dreamily for a moment before its full import hit her.