Three Wishes(75)

She needed time and privacy to break the news to Fazire and to know from Nate that Fazire’s place in their family was solid or there was no deal.

She resolutely did not think about how different the Mercedes handled to her Peugeot. She would have plenty of time to think about luxuries, about how her life was about to change, about many things.

At that moment, she needed to deal with her situation. She needed to take measures to protect her daughter and different measures to protect herself. And she needed to do it soon before she lost her nerve.

During her two hour journey she thought of all the reasons not to marry Nate.

She barely knew him.

She wasn’t likely to know him because he rarely spoke.

He’d promised her important things and had reneged on those promises within weeks.

He’d made her wish from Fazire, something she’d waited for breathlessly for a decade, a nightmare and this hurt Fazire and Lily never wanted Fazire to hurt. Ever.

He had two siblings that where, clearly, Satan’s spawn.

He’d made her hope for a bright future and then did nothing when that was put in jeopardy which caused that hope to be snatched away.

She was still somewhat frightened at his father’s temper.

And, lastly, it was clear he would expect the marriage to be a marriage and all that entailed, not an arrangement.

Then she thought of the reasons to marry Nate.

He was Natasha’s father and he obviously, even after only two visits, adored her.

And every child needed a father.

Lily loved Will more than she could express and missed him every day of her life. If she had the chance to have Will back alive, breathing, walking, talking, she’d jump at it, she’d even sacrifice a little bit of herself (even a lot) to have him back.

And she would do no less for Tash.

Further, Nate would expect the marriage to be a marriage which would mean, at least for awhile, Lily would have a mate, a partner, someone to share the burden.

And then there were the other, definitely more pleasurable bits of being married, married to Nate. Bits, she could not deny, especially after the last two times they’d been alone together, that she very much wanted.

So she made her choice.

And she knew it was costing her. The stress and strain was sneaking up on her and she felt it.

As the train pulled into Paddington, she felt the pain coming.

The headache, luckily, was muted, not roaring. But it was there and she knew what it heralded. She didn’t find herself a snack for fear of it coming back later to haunt her if she vomited, but she took two pain pills and prayed she was wrong about her prediction.

She used precious money that a day ago she’d never have used but she was, of course, in high heels and trying to fight an imminent migraine and she took a taxi instead of The Tube to Nate’s offices.

He’d left a card with Tash, telling her to call him whenever she wanted. Lily didn’t know if Tash had taken him up on this invitation but she found herself hoping that her daughter did. It would have been the perfect conversation as Tash rarely kept her mouth shut and Nate rarely opened his.

She gave the driver the address and concentrated on keeping the headache in abeyance.

However, as she walked through the door to the plush offices, she felt the nausea building in her stomach and fought it back.

In her head, she tried to plan her strategy at dealing with the migraine. She tried to time the meeting with Nate. Would it take ten minutes? Fifteen? An hour? She hoped not an hour. And she tried to assess the possibility of the pounding intensifying to the point she was made invalid, wondering if she could make it back home on the train.

As the pain intensified, she decided she could not. She would need to get a hotel room for a couple of hours just to rest and let the migraine run its course. She’d be queasy and not herself when it was over but she thought she’d likely be able to get home hopefully in time.

Lily had not told Nate she was coming. She wanted the element of surprise. She was giving in but he had to give in too. She wasn’t stupid and she wasn’t going to make the same mistake twice. She wasn’t moving from Clevedon. If he wanted Tash, he’d have to come to them.

She walked up to the reception desk which seemed an impossible distance from the front doors. The walls were some sort of highly-shined wood panelling that Lily found way too bright for her sensitive eyes to take. The reception desk was a huge semi-circle made of the same wood that could easily have sat five. But only one very pretty woman sat behind it.

“Hi,” Lily greeted, fighting back the sick feeling in her stomach, “I’m Lily Jacobs, I’m here to see Mr. McAllister.”

The girl’s eyes travelled the length of Lily but Lily barely noticed. She had to put her hand to the desk to steady herself as she saw the flashes in her eyes.

No, no, no, she thought, not this soon.

It was coming on her quickly, far more quickly than normal. Most likely the strain of the last few weeks, all the shocks, the emotions.

“Is he expecting you?” the woman broke into her thoughts.

“No, but it’s important. If he’s free, I’d like to speak with him.”

The girl watched Lily for a moment and asked, “Are you all right?”

With effort, Lily focussed on her, “Just a headache.”

She carefully assessed Lily and said, “I’ll ring his office, won’t be a second.” Her voice was kind and then moments later she went on. “Hiya Jennifer, there’s a Ms. Lily Jacobs here to see Mr. McAllister. She says she doesn’t have an appointment but it’s important.”