Three Wishes(120)

She tried to pull away but in her ear, he hissed, “Lie still.”

“Tash doesn’t care how we sleep, Nate,” Lily snapped back, her tone bitter. She gave an almighty pull and slid away. Then she waited, tense, for him to pull her back.

He didn’t.

She didn’t fall asleep but she heard (she thought, but she was wrong) when he did. Then, hours later, when it was time, she got up, took her clothes, her makeup and everything she needed and locked herself in the bathroom and didn’t come out until she was ready to face the day and to face Nate.

When she opened the bathroom door, it was Nate who was pacing. He was wearing dark blue pyjama bottoms, what he’d been wearing last night when he’d dragged her to bed, and he was pulling a hand through his hair.

Upon the door opening, he stopped and swung to her. His hand didn’t fall but stayed at the back of his neck and he stared at her. Not like she was a bug under his scrutiny, not blank, not detached, but she couldn’t tell what she read on his face and she no longer cared. She tried not to care about how beautiful he was, standing there with his muscular chest, tight stomach, black hair, dark, intense eyes and powerful frame but she couldn’t. Perhaps, she thought distractedly, with practice she’d be able to do that. One day.

His eyes looked her up and down and then settled on hers and they stared at each other what seemed hours but was probably minutes.

Finally, he dropped his arm.

“We have to talk,” he told her.

She shook her head and walked into the room, dumping her cosmetics on her dressing table, she turned to him.

“The time for talking is over,” she replied, feeling strangely that even though it had been only a few days since the time she would have begged him to talk to her, did beg him to talk to her, it felt like forever ago. She walked to the door but he stopped her with a hand on her arm, his fingers closing around it painfully as he swung her to face him.

“You’re going to listen to me,” he demanded.

She yanked her arm away and when he moved to regain hold, she clipped in a horrible voice, a voice she’d never heard pass her lips in her life, “Don’t you touch me.”

At her tone, Nate went completely still.

Lily went on, speaking in that voice. “I’m going to marry you tomorrow like you want, for Tash. I’ll sleep in the same bed with you and we’ll pretend we’re a cosy family. You can go to London and do whatever you need to do with whatever women there you need to do it with and I’ll…” she faltered, not knowing what to say, then rallied and told him honestly, “Do without.”

“Lily –” he broke in but she kept going.

“I’ve done it before, I’ll do it again. This will be fine. It’ll all be fine and Tash will never know.”

“Listen to me –”

“She’ll never know!” Lily spoke fervently but kept her voice low so neither Tash nor Fazire would overhear. “No one will ever know,” she said like she was trying to convince herself.

Then, feeling she made her point, she turned and had her hand on the door handle, sensing escape, but she was thwarted as he swung her back around, his arms closing around her tightly, bringing her up against his body and to her shock, his face went into the hair at the side of her neck.

“Lily, I want to tell you about –”

Her body became stiff as a board.

“Take your hands off me,” she said.

He took his arms from around her but her hope that he was doing as she asked was dashed when he immediately framed her face with his hands.

“You need to listen to me. You need to know who I am before you marry me tomorrow. You need to know so you can make the right decision and whatever that is, I’ll –”

“I know who you are, Nate. You showed me Monday night, remember?”

He closed his eyes but not before (she could swear) she saw that familiar aching pain slice through them. He dropped his forehead to hers then opened them again and he admitted, his voice harsh but not with anger, with emotion, “I was trying to push you away. I thought it was the right thing to do but when you heard Georgia, your voice, Christ, Lily, your voice. I can’t get it out of my head. I was out with her parents, they’ve been family friends for years. She wasn’t supposed to be there.”

Lily shook her head and tried to pull free of his hands. This didn’t work so she stood her ground and glared at him, now it was her shields that were impenetrable or, at least, she told herself that, she’d clean these particular wounds later.

“Lily, my mother was –” he started.

“Stop it!” she shouted and with superhuman effort yanked her face from his hands and took a step back. She was beyond caring who was in the house. She had to get out of there. She had to get out of there and away from Nate as soon as she could. She never thought she would feel she needed to be away from Nate but at that moment she needed it more than breath.

“I don’t care anymore, Nate,” she lied, caring more than anything but getting very good at lying with all the practice she’d had recently.

His eyes narrowed. Of course, he saw through her and she knew he didn’t believe her but he kept his distance though the distance between them wasn’t much, she was thankful for it.

“The time to tell me was eight years ago,” she informed him. “I don’t care anymore. I get it Nate. I understand. I’m just the plain, silly, hillbilly girl who got infatuated with who she thought was her romantic hero.” At that, Lily laughed, the acid resentment in the sound causing Nate’s controlled features to wince and he moved toward her again but she quickly retreated, lifting her hand to keep him at bay. His eyes dropped to her hand and he halted.