This Shattered World (Starbound #2)(58)

I lift my chin and gaze into the pinhole lens of my camera. “I need information about her father’s corporation.”

“You want me to spy on my future father-in-law?”

I try not to cringe; hearing the words now, I regret ever having called my old captain at all. “No, sir. I meant—”

“Because Lilac and I have gotten very good at that.”

My eyes snap to the screen, surprise robbing me of speech.

“You don’t want to get involved with LaRoux Industries, Lee. Whatever you’re into, just…let it go. Fight your instincts and walk away.”

“I can’t. People are dying, and I think it’s because of LRI. I had someone—but he’s gone now. It’s just me, sir. There’s no one else to chase this.”

“Lee,” he says slowly, voice softening to match my own. “Where are you?”

“Avon.”

He doesn’t answer right away, but his expression shifts. Though I can’t understand why, there’s fear in his gaze. Concern. Somehow, across the millions of light-years between us, he’s seen the echo of what’s happened here in my face.

“Avon?” he echoes finally, his voice rough. “You’re still on Avon?”

I nod, not trusting myself to speak. I feel like crying with relief. Until Flynn came into my life, I hadn’t cried since Verona. Now it feels as though I’d just been storing up the flood for this moment. But Merendsen’s the last man in the world I want to see me cry.

He’s shaking his head. “Nobody lasts there more than a month or so—I barely lasted two.”

“I’m okay,” I lie. “But their planetary review with the Council isn’t far off, and things are heating up here. And LaRoux Industries might be involved.”

“What’s happening?”

I want to tell him about the impossible disappearing base I saw with Flynn in the swamp, but the words refuse to form. “The Fury.” I start there instead. “It’s getting worse. Stronger.”

“Get out of there,” he says instantly. “Leave. Request a transfer. Go AWOL if you have to.”

“AWOL,” I echo, my voice halting. It feels as though the floor below me is heaving. “Sir, I don’t—”

“You’re not wrong, Lee. About LaRoux.” Merendsen’s voice is grim, his eyes shadowed. “I saw documents that mentioned Avon, back on—around the time I met Lilac. I assumed his experiments there were long over, though. I thought we’d ended them.”

“What experiments?”

He hesitates, watching me in his screen, brows drawn. “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you,” he says finally. “Lee, just hang on. I’m going to figure out a way to get there.”

“No,” I reply, leaning closer to my screen as though he’ll hear me better. “Sir, I wasn’t asking you to come. The situation with the Fianna is too dangerous, and you’re a civilian now. I’m only looking for information we can bring to the higher-ups to get answers.”

“I’m not going to sit here and wait to find out you’ve been quietly erased for asking the wrong questions.” Merendsen’s voice quickens, a rare display of intensity. He leans in too—we’re inches apart, if worlds away. “Some things I can’t say over a comm line, not even a secure one.”

The relief at his response to my suspicions about LaRoux Industries is rapidly draining away, leaving a tight, cold dread in its place. What could be so secret—so much worse than the Fury, than spying on his father-in-law and admitting to having seen long-buried documents—that he’ll fly halfway across the galaxy to a war-torn planet to tell me?

“I’ll be there,” he continues. “Transports don’t come here often, but I’ll figure something out. I’ll have to leave Lilac here—I can’t bring her into this again. There’s no telling what might happen.”

I resist the urge to tell him that the last thing I want is for him to bring Lilac LaRoux here.

He’s still talking. “Wait for me, will you? I’m serious, Captain. Don’t run off and do something Lee-ish until I get there.”

I nod. “Yes, sir.”

“You swear?”

Bizarrely, Flynn’s face flashes in front of my eyes. It could be weeks before Merendsen hops a ship to get here—What if, against all odds, Flynn sends for me through Molly because he needs me? How can I promise to sit here and do nothing when the idiot’s life could be in danger?

But then it strikes me: it’s not like me at all to think this way. In what universe would Captain Lee Chase risk life, limb, and the safety of her people for one exiled rebel and the planet he’s willing to die for?

There’s nothing Lee-ish about any of this.

I nod slowly, ignoring the sick feeling in my gut as I speak. “I swear not to do anything Lee-ish.”

Merendsen eyes me, not trusting my hesitation. But then he nods and leans back. “I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

The monitor goes black, flashing the white text SESSION TERMINATED. I press against the keyboard, and the whole thing folds back up into my desk, noiselessly hiding itself away. As if nothing ever happened.

I try not to think about what Flynn would say if he knew what I’d just done. In the morning I’ll leave him a message at Molly’s. I don’t have much to tell him, except that I might have a way forward soon. It won’t be enough. It could never be enough, and I keep imagining his grief, his frustration, his loathing of me and my world.