This Is What Happy Looks Like(51)

Ellie was unable to keep from smiling. “Hi,” she said, and he tilted his head, looking at her with amusement.

“Are you daydreaming or plotting?”

“Plotting,” she told him, and he seemed to consider this for a moment before taking a few steps toward her.

“Well, whatever it is,” he said. “I’m in.”

From: [email protected]

Sent: Wednesday, July 3, 2013 4:48 PM

To: [email protected]

Subject: (no subject)

Harry,

Thanks for the info. I found it enormously helpful.

Graham

Chapter 16

He’d come back to her, it was true. He was the one to walk out of the woods and onto the beach, to cross the space between them. But he wasn’t the only one. It was there in her eyes: she was coming back to him too.

The moment he’d opened the envelope, all of his doubts had fallen away. Harry had clearly meant it to be a warning of sorts, but it had the exact opposite effect. Sitting in the trailer, he’d spilled the pile of papers onto the table—a jumble of Internet searches and archived articles—and he’d read all about her past. But it didn’t make him want to stay away from her. He didn’t care that she may or may not be the illegitimate daughter of that stiff-looking senator. He didn’t care about the potential for negative publicity, or the fact that being attached to someone like that could be bad for his career.

What he cared about was that it explained what had happened between them, all of it: the look on her face when she walked away from him at the harbor that day, the unreturned e-mail, the distance she’d been keeping for the last few weeks.

It wasn’t about not wanting him. She was only protecting herself.

But it didn’t matter now. They sat facing each other on the enormous sloping rock that jutted out above the surf. The sun was falling lower in the sky, and though she was now wearing shorts and a T-shirt, Ellie still hugged the towel around her like a blanket, shivering in spite of the late-day heat. Her long hair was still damp from the water, and her nose was pink from the sun.

She’d tried to talk first, and so had he, their words tumbling into one another like bumper cars until she made him sit down across from her, and they each took a deep breath, laughing without any good reason except that there was a rare kind of joy in this, being here together again. Even without any explanations or apologies, it felt like a redo, a second chance, a new beginning. It was a gift, and Graham didn’t want to be the one to spoil it. But there were things to be said, and so he cleared his throat and leaned forward.

“Me first,” he said, and Ellie nodded, her face growing sober. It was hard to figure out where to begin, and Graham hesitated. “I know what happened,” he said eventually. “I know that it wasn’t about you and me. It was about your dad.”

She flinched. “How do you—”

“Harry found out,” he said. “My manager. He won’t tell anyone. It’s just that he knew I liked you, and he was only trying to protect me—”

“Protect you?” she said, her green eyes flashing.

“That’s just his job,” he said. “But it’s not the point. It wasn’t ever about us, right? Which means it doesn’t matter anymore. Now that I know.”

Ellie frowned. “Of course it matters,” she said. “It doesn’t change anything.”

“It changes everything,” Graham said. “I don’t care about your past, or who your dad is. It was just about the publicity, right? The cameras?” He lifted his shoulders. “So we’ll stay away from them.”

“Graham,” she said, her voice stern, though the corner of her mouth was twitching in an effort not to smile. “Just think about it for a second. It’s not that easy to stay away from them. It’s part of who you are.”

“It’s not who I am,” he said, feeling a small flicker of annoyance, and her face softened.

“That’s not what I meant,” she said, and then, to Graham’s surprise, she reached out and touched the side of his face. He felt the heat of her hand on his skin, impossibly soft, but before he could react, she pulled away again, looking embarrassed. “I only meant that it’s too big a risk to take. I’m glad you know the story. I’ve never been able to tell anyone. But being with you—it’s too public. I just can’t do that to my mom.” She paused and looked out across the water. “And Harry’s probably right. It can’t be the best publicity for you either.”

“I don’t care,” he said. “It’s not important.”

“It is,” she said, looking at him a bit sadly. “And it’s just not worth the risk. You’re only here for a few more days anyway.”

“Exactly,” he said, inching closer. “We’ve wasted three whole weeks.”

She lowered her eyes. “I know.”

“That’s a long time,” he said. “I haven’t even gone three hours without knowing what you’ve been doing since we first started talking.”

She smiled, but it fell away again almost immediately. “We can’t do this.”

“Because of the cameras?”

Ellie nodded. “You know that the minute we go back into town—”

“Okay,” Graham said, looking around the beach. The sun had finally dipped behind the trees, and the waves were tinged with gold. “Then we’ll just stay here.”