This Girl (Slammed #3)(66)
“Three dollars,” someone yells from the crowd.
Shit. I pat my pockets, realizing I left my wallet in my car. “I don’t have any cash,” I say to the emcee.
His eyes shift to Lake and mine follow. She pulls out the two dollars in change from her fee and walks to the stage, slapping it down in front of us.
“Still a dollar short,” he says.
Jesus! It’s one freaking dollar!
The silence in the room is interrupted as several chairs slide from under their tables. People from all over the floor walk toward the stage, surrounding Lake as they throw dollar bills onto the stage. Everyone quickly makes their way back to their seats and Lake eyes the money, dumbfounded.
“Okay,” the emcee says, taking in the pile of cash at my feet. “I guess that covers it. What’s the name of your piece, Will?”
I look down at Lake and smile right back at her. “Better than third.”
She takes a few steps back from the stage and waits for me to begin. I take a deep breath and prepare to tell her everything I should have said to her three months ago.
I met a girl.
A beautiful girl
And I fell for her.
I fell hard.
Unfortunately, sometimes life gets in the way.
Life definitely got in my way.
It got all up in my damn way,
Life blocked the door with a stack of wooden two-by-fours nailed together and attached to a fifteen-inch concrete wall behind a row of solid steel bars, bolted to a titanium frame that no matter how hard I shoved against it—
It
wouldn’t
budge.
Sometimes life doesn’t budge.
It just gets all up in your damn way.
It blocked my plans, my dreams, my desires, my wishes, my wants, my needs.
It blocked out that beautiful girl
That I fell so hard for.
Life tries to tell you what’s best for you.
What should be most important to you.
What should come first
Or second
Or third.
I tried so hard to keep it all organized, alphabetized, stacked in chronological order, everything in its perfect space, its perfect place.
I thought that’s what life wanted me to do.
This is what life needed for me to do.
Right?
Keep it all in sequence?
Sometimes life gets in your way.
It gets all up in your damn way.
But it doesn’t get all up in your damn way because it wants you to just give up and let it take control. Life doesn’t get all up in your damn way because it just wants you to hand it all over and be carried along.
Life wants you to fight it.
Learn how to make it your own.
It wants you to grab an axe and hack through the wood.
It wants you to get a sledgehammer and break through the concrete.
It wants you to grab a torch and burn through the metal and steel until you can reach through and grab it.
Life wants you to grab all the organized, the alphabetized, the chronological, the sequenced. It wants you to mix it all together,
stir it up,
blend it.
Life doesn’t want you to let it tell you that your little brother should be the only thing that comes first.
Life doesn’t want you to let it tell you that your career and your education should be the only thing that comes in second.
And life definitely doesn’t want me
To just let it tell me
that the girl I met—
The beautiful, strong, amazing, resilient girl
That I fell so hard for—
Should only come in third.
Life knows.
Life is trying to tell me
That the girl I love?
The girl I fell
So hard for?
There’s room for her in first.
I’m putting her first.
AS SOON AS the last line escapes my lips, I set the microphone down on the stage and jump off. I walk directly to her and take her face in my hands. Tears are falling down her cheeks, so I wipe them away with my thumbs.
“I love you, Lake.” I lean my forehead against hers. “You deserve to come first.”
Telling her exactly how I feel about her is the easiest thing I’ve ever done. The honesty comes so naturally. It’s the months of hiding my feelings that have been unbearable. I breathe a huge sigh of relief when the weight of holding everything back disappears.
She laughs through her tears and places her hands on top of mine, looking up at me with the most beautiful smile. “I love you, too. I love you so much.”
I kiss her softly on the lips. My heart feels like it literally swells within my chest when she kisses me back. I wrap my arms around her and bury my face into her hair, pulling her tightly against me. I close my eyes, and it’s suddenly just the two of us. Me and this girl. This girl is in my arms again . . . touching me, kissing me, breathing me in, loving me back.
She’s not just a dream, anymore.
Lake moves her mouth to my ear and whispers, “We probably shouldn’t be doing this here.” I open my eyes and the concern on her face registers with me. She’s still a student. I’m still technically a teacher. This probably doesn’t look very good if anyone here knows us.
I reach down and take her hand, then pull her toward the exit. As soon as we’re outside, I grab her by the waist and push her against the door. I’ve been waiting months to be with her like this. Two more seconds without touching her and I. Will. Die.