Then Came You (The Gamblers #1)(5)

“Your past doesn’t quite recommend you—” Zachary tried to explain, and she interrupted with amused impatience.

“Yes, of course I know that.”

She hadn’t been on speaking terms with her family for some time. Those ties had been cut years ago by her own careless hands. She didn’t know what had driven her to rebel against the rules of propriety her family held so dear, but it didn’t matter now. She had made mistakes for which she would never be forgiven. The Lawsons had warned her that she would never be able to come back. At the time, Lily had laughed in the face of their disapproval. Now she was well acquainted with the taste of regret. Ruefully, she smiled at Zachary. “Even I wouldn’t do something to embarrass Penny. Or heaven forbid, endanger the prospect of having a wealthy earl in the family. Mother’s fondest dream.”

“Lily, have you ever met Penelope’s fiancé?”

“Hmm…not really. Once I caught a glimpse of him in Shropshire during the opening of grouse season. Tall and taciturn, that’s how he appeared.”

“If he marries Penelope, he will make her life hell.” Zachary intended the statement to be shocking, dramatic, spurring her into immediate action.

Lily was unimpressed. Her dark, slanting brows drew together, and she contemplated him with almost scientific detachment. “First of all, Zach, there’s no ‘if’ about it. Penny is going to marry Raiford. She would never disobey my parents’ wishes. Second, it’s hardly a secret that you’re in love with her—”

“And she loves me!”

“—and therefore you may be apt to exaggerate the situation for your own purposes.” She raised her eyebrows significantly. “Hmm?”

“In this matter I couldn’t exaggerate! Raiford will be cruel to her. He doesn’t love her, whereas I would die for her.”

He was young and melodramatic, but it was clear he was sincere. “Oh, Zach.” Lily felt a surge of compassion for him. Sooner or later everyone was driven to love someone they could never have. Fortunately, once had been enough for her to learn that particular lesson. “You will remember, I advised you long before now to coax Penny to elope with you,” she said. “Either that or dishonor her so that my parents would have to consent to the match. But it’s too late now. They’ve found a fatter pigeon than you to pluck.”

“Lord Raiford is no pigeon,” Zachary said darkly. “He’s more like a lion—a cold, savage creature who will make your sister miserable for the rest of her days. He isn’t capable of love. Penelope is terrified of him. Ask some of your friends about him. Ask anyone. They’ll all tell you the same thing—he doesn’t have a heart.”

Well. A heartless man. She had met her share of those. Lily sighed. “Zachary, I have no advice to offer,” she said regretfully. “I love my sister, and naturally it would delight me to see her happy. But there’s nothing I can do for either of you.”

“You could talk to your family,” he begged. “You could plead my cause.”

“Zachary, you know I’m an outcast from the family. My words carry no weight with them. I haven’t been in their good graces for years.”

“Please. You’re my last hope. Please.”

Lily stared into Zachary’s anguished face and shook her head helplessly. She didn’t want to be the source of anyone’s hope. He own small supply had been exhausted. Unable to remain sitting, she sprang up and paced around the room, while he remained deathly still in his chair.

Zachary spoke as if he feared that one ill-chosen word would be his ruin. “Lily, think of how your sister feels. Try to imagine what it is like for a woman without your strength and freedom. Frightened, dependent on others, helpless…oh, I know that is a feeling utterly foreign to someone like you, but—”

He was interrupted by a caustic laugh. Lily had stopped pacing and was standing near the heavily draped window. She rested her back against the wall, one leg bent until the point of her knee showed through the thick ivory robe. Regarding him with bright, mocking eyes, she gave him a smile shadowed with irony. “Utterly foreign,” she repeated.

“But Penelope and I are both lost…we need someone to help us, guide us to the path we were meant to walk together—”

“Dear, how poetic.”

“Oh God, Lily, don’t you know what it is to love? Don’t you believe in it?”

Lily turned away, pulling at a few strands of her short, matted hair. She rubbed her forehead wearily. “No, not that kind of love,” she said in a distracted manner. His question troubled her. Suddenly she wished he would go, and take his desperate gaze with him. “I believe in the love a mother has for her child. And the love between brothers and sisters. I believe in friendship. But I’ve never seen a romantic match that lasts. They’re all destined to end out of jealousy, anger, indifference…” She steeled herself to look at him coolly. “Be like every other man, my dear. Marry advantageously, then take a mistress who will supply all the love you need for as long as you’re willing to keep her.”

Zachary flinched as if she had slapped him. He stared at her as he never had before, his soft eyes accusing. “For the first time,” he said unsteadily, “I can believe some of the things that others say about you. F-forgive me for coming here. I thought you could provide some help. Or at least comfort.”