The Vincent Brothers (The Vincent Boys #2)(47)

I didn’t give a rat’s ass about Beau’s warning. I needed to find Lana. “I’m not raising my voice. I need to find Lana,” I yelled, glaring at him as I slammed my fist against the brick fireplace. The pain wasn’t enough to numb the agony in my chest.

“Sawyer, stop! You’re bleeding. Beau, do something,” Ashton’s worried voice sounded like it was coming down a tunnel.

“WHERE IS SHE?” I roared, beating my fist against the wall trying to stop the tears blurring my vision. I had to find her. She needed me. Oh God, she needed me.

Pressing both my palms flat against the brick, I dropped my head and let the tears roll freely. I’d lost her. I couldn’t lose her. She was so broken and I didn’t even know. I wanted to find her dumbass father and beat his face in until the ache inside me, from her words in that letter, eased. How could they overlook her? How could anyone overlook her?

“Sawyer, we’ll find her,” Ashton said as a small choked up sob escaped her. “Beau, he’s crying. I can’t stand this. Do something,” she begged.

“Why don’t you give us a minute, Ash?” Beau replied.

I heard Beau whisper to Ashton and kiss her before her footsteps faded down the hall.

“Man, you’ve got to get a f**king grip. You’re losing it and that shit ain’t gonna help nothing. Plus you’ve got Ash in tears.”

He had no right to tell me how to handle this. I’d lost her trying to help him.

I pushed myself off the wall and walked away while I wiped the proof of my breakdown from my face.

“Look, bro, I get it. You love her. I know that feeling real well. But crying like a f**king pu**y ain’t gonna do one bit of good. We have to find her. It takes big boys to do that. Think you can dry up the well and help me think this through?”

I froze and dropped my hands to my sides. What had he just said?

Turning around I stared at him, “Did you just say, ‘I love her’?”

Beau rolled his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest as he leaned against the doorframe. “Really Saw? You gotta ask me that?” He shook his head as if I were the biggest idiot on the planet. “Let me ask you something. When you lost Ash... did you cry? I know we beat each other up and you did a lot of yelling. But did you cry?”

“No.”

Beau nodded, “Did you want to? Or were you just mad as hell?” I thought back to those weeks after our breakup. I didn’t remember fighting back tears. Not once.

“No.”

“Didn’t think so. ‘Cause although you loved Ash, she wasn’t the one. When you fall for the one that owns you, she’ll be the only one that has the power to make you cry.”

Chapter Twenty-One

Lana

“I’m not telling you where I am, Mom,” I repeated for the fifth time.

“Lana Grace McDaniel! You are only eighteen years old. It’s dangerous for you to travel alone. I am your mother! I need to know where you are. Come home. Just, wherever you are, come home. Ashton has called three times and that Sawyer—”

“No. I don’t want to hear it. I don’t care. Just please, Mom, if you want to talk to me don’t bring him and Ashton up, okay?”

“But they—”

“I will hang up this phone and turn it off. Do you understand me?”

I heard my mother’s sharp intake of breath. I’d never spoken to her like that before but I was tired of it. She never listened to me. She tried to control me. No longer. I was eighteen years old but I felt so much older. I always had.

“Fine,” she snapped.

“Now, if there is nothing else you’d like to say, I need to go. I’ll call you again soon. Trust me when I tell you I am completely safe. That’s all you need to know.”

“If this is about your father—”

“No, Mom, it isn’t about him. Not anymore. My decisions are about me. From here on out what I do won’t take into account what you or Daddy do or say.”

My mother’s silence was so rare I wondered if she’d hung up on me. That would definitely be a first. Then, I heard a deep sigh.

“Okay,” she finally said.

“Okay,” I replied.

“I love you, Lana. You know that, don’t you?”

No, I didn’t know it. Not really. I wasn’t sure Mom understood the concept of loving someone else more than herself.

“Sure, Mom. Love you too,” I finally said. I’d done enough as far as honesty went for one conversation. I did love her and I wasn’t sure she could take any more of the truth.

Pressing end, I went ahead and turned off my phone before dropping it in my largest piece of luggage. Not that I thought my mom was smart enough to trace me or anything. I wasn’t sure she’d even think about that method of finding me. I figured if I kept it off, unless I was checking in, then I was safe. Maybe I should buy one of those disposable cell phones and use it for calls from now on. I remembered an episode of CSI where that method worked.

Shaking my head at my own scheming to keep hidden from my mom, I walked over to stand in front of the large window centered in the left wall. Jewel hadn’t been kidding about the view. I could see the pool to my left since we were on the bottom floor but straight ahead was nothing except white sandy beach and the Gulf of Mexico. I could stay here the rest of the summer. Figure things out. Heal. Then go back to Alpharetta and face my future. Maybe I could get a job or two that paid well. Save up for two years and then go to the University of Georgia. Not my first choice but it was better than staying at home and going to the community college. It would be more affordable to go to the state college than go off to Florida. Grimacing at my stupidity, I thought about all the things I’d sold on eBay once I heard the news Sawyer had signed with Florida. I figured, if I could save up enough money, my dad would help me. I’d applied, gotten accepted, and used the small scholarship I’d received from the local ladies’ club my mother was a part of to pay for my registration. I still needed so much more.