The Vincent Boys (The Vincent Boys #1)(8)

“Why?”

Because I want you. Just you. The girl I know is in there, hiding from the world. I want my Ash back. I couldn’t say it like that. She’d see too much. I had to protect myself.

“Because I’d like to know you aren’t so perfect. I’d like to know the girl I once knew was still in there somewhere.”

She laughed again and pulled her legs up to rest her chin on.

“There’s no way I’m admitting all my faults to you. Considering most of them are just in my thoughts and I’ve never acted on them.”

“I’m not asking for your deep dark secrets, Ash. I just want to know what you could possibly do wrong that makes you feel Sawyer’s got to keep you in line.”

Her cheeks turned pink but she kept her eyes straight ahead. After a few minutes of silence I stood up and stretched.

“That’s fine. I don’t really need you to tell me how you don’t always remember to take the buggy back to the return place in the parking lot or you don’t make it to the nursing home every week.”

I started to walk away, angry at myself for sounding like a jerk.

“Those are things Sawyer has to help me remember . . . but I wasn’t exactly referring to them.”

She said it so softly I almost didn’t hear her. I stopped and turned back to her. She was peering up at me through her wet eyelashes.

“I’m just like any other teenage girl. I envy Nicole because she can be who she wants to be. I can’t. But it isn’t Sawyer’s fault. I’ve never been able to give in to those urges. My parents expect me to be good.”

“You want to be like Nicole?” I asked in horror. She laughed and shook her head.

“Not exactly. I don’t desire to vomit on myself and be carried inside my house drunk . . . or be known as a slut. But just once I’d like to know what it feels like to do more than just kiss. To be touched.” She stopped and turned her gaze back toward the water. “Maybe to know what the thrill of sneaking out of my house feels like or how it feels to be wanted by someone so desperately they can’t help themselves when they kiss me. Maybe, to just feel desirable.” She stopped again and covered her face with both her hands. “Please forget I said all that.”

Talk about an impossible request. I was having a hard enough time breathing.

She let her hands drop away from her face and turned her guilt-ridden expression back up to me. The lost look in her eyes was killing me. I wanted to assure her nothing was wrong with her. I wanted to show her exactly how insane she made me. She stood up.

“So now you know my secrets, Beau. Just like old times. I think that makes us friends again, huh?” The smile on her lips trembled.

Fuck me.

“Yeah, I’d say it does,” I replied as regret consumed me.

Chapter 3

Ashton

I watched as my parents’ mini-van backed out of the driveway before picking up my phone and texting Beau.

Me: Would u like to come watch a movie at my house?

My heart started racing in my chest. What was I doing? I’d already blurred the lines today at the hole. I should have never talked with Beau about secret desires. But just thinking about the intense gleam in his eyes as I’d explained what I wanted to experience made my body flush with excitement.

Beau: Ur parents?

He knew my parents well enough to know they would never be okay with me spending time with him. I hated how everyone assumed the worst about Beau. Just because his momma was trash didn’t mean he was. He had the same blood in him that Sawyer did.

Me: Out of town 2night

My dad had planned a surprise weekend getaway for my parents’ anniversary. I’d known about it for a week, but he’d just told my mom this afternoon. They were both safely on the road to Birmingham now.

My phone rang, startling me so badly I dropped it. Scrambling to pick it up, I worried it may be Sawyer. I’d never be able to keep the guilt out of my voice if I had to talk to him.

It was Beau.

“Hello,” I said.

“I’ll leave my truck at the park and walk to your house through the woods. Leave the back door unlocked.”

He didn’t want anyone to see his truck here. I knew it was for my benefit. It was probably best he didn’t park outside my house. He was just my friend but . . . he was also a boy. A bad boy. Ashton Gray doesn’t have boys over while her parents are away.

“Okay, if that’s what you want to do.”

“It is.” His deep voice made me feel all tingly inside.

“I’ll see you in a little while then,” I replied.

“Yeah,” he said before he hung up. I stared down at the phone; I was torn between excitement and fear. I was going to get to spend more time alone with Beau. I’d missed him. Being able to be honest with someone was nice. I didn’t have to pretend. Then there was also the fact I liked the way his eyes sent shivers over my body as he stared at me. There was something wicked about Beau that drew me to him. What was wrong with me? Why did I want to sin so badly?

I dropped the phone on my bed and headed for the shower. I wouldn’t think about the rule I was breaking. This wasn’t anything bad. It was a small rule if you thought about rules in general. I mean, there were bigger rules I could break. Besides, I needed to break some rules before I went crazy.

A light knock on the back door sent the butterflies flapping around in my stomach into a frenzy. I heard the latch in the door as it opened and closed. I quickly slipped on a white eyelet sundress. After trying on several other more casual outfits I’d decided I wanted to look nicer. The sundress was short with spaghetti straps so it looked casual enough for a movie night, maybe . . . sort of. I studied my bare feet. I’d just painted my toes cotton candy pink and decided to stay barefoot. Even more casual.