The Storied Life of A.J. Fikry(55)

(You and Amelia are my favorite people, too.)

—A.J.F.

*This accounts for much of the Internet, of course.

Lot 2200. A last-minute addition to the afternoon’s auction and a rare opportunity for the vintage books connoisseur. Tamerlane and Other Poems by Edgar Allan Poe. Written when Poe was eighteen and attributed to ‘A Bostonian.’ Only fifty printed at the time. Tamerlane will be the crown jewel in any serious rare-books collection. This copy shows some wear at the spine and is marked in crayon on the cover. The damage should not in any way spoil the beauty or diminish the rarity of this object, which cannot be overstated. Let the bidding begin at twenty thousand dollars.”

The book sells for seventy-two thousand dollars, modestly exceeding the reserve. After fees and taxes, this is enough money to cover A.J.’s copay on the surgery and the first round of radiation.

Even after he receives the check from Christie’s, A.J. has doubts about whether to go through with treatment. He still suspects that the money would be better spent on Maya’s college education. “No,” Maya says. “I’m smart. I’ll get a scholarship. I’ll write the world’s saddest admissions essay about how I was an orphan abandoned in a bookstore by my single mother and how my adopted dad got the rarest form of brain cancer, but look at me now. An upstanding member of society. People will eat it up, Dad.”

“That is awfully crass of you, my little nerd.” A.J. laughs at the monster he has created.

“I have money, too,” the wife insists. Bottom line is, the women in A.J.’s life want him to live, and so he books the surgery.

“SITTING HERE, I find myself thinking that The Late Bloomer really was a bunch of hokum,” Amelia says bitterly. She stands up and walks over to the window. “Do you want the blinds raised or lowered? Raised, we get a spot of natural light and the lovely view of the children’s hospital across the way. Lowered, you can enjoy my deathly pallor under the fluorescent lights. It’s up to you.”

“Raised,” A.J. says. “I want to remember you at your best.”

“Do you remember when Friedman writes how you can’t truly describe a hospital room? How a hospital room when the one you love is in it is too painful to be described or some such crap? How did we ever think that was poetic? I’m disgusted with us. At this stage in my life, I’m with all the people that never wanted to read that book in the first place. I’m with the cover designer who put the flowers and the feet on the front. Because you know what? You totally can describe a hospital room. It’s gray. The art is the worst art you’ve ever seen. Like stuff that got rejected by the Holiday Inn. Everything smells like someone is trying to cover up the smell of piss.”

“You loved The Late Bloomer, Amy.”

She has still never told him about Leon Friedman. “But I didn’t want to be in some stupid play version of it when I was in my forties.”

“Do you think I should really have this surgery?”

Amelia rolls her eyes. “Yes, I do. Number one, it’s happening in twenty minutes, so we probably couldn’t get our money back anyway. And number two, you’ve had your head shaved, and you look like a terrorist. I don’t see what the point is in turning back now,” Amelia says.

“Is it really worth the money for two more years that are likely to be crappy?” he asks Amelia.

“It is,” she says, taking his hand.

“I remember a woman who told me about the importance of shared sensibility. I remember a woman who said she broke up with a bona fide American Hero because they didn’t have good conversation. That could happen to us, you know,” A.J. says.

“That is an entirely different situation,” Amelia insists. A second later, she yells, “FUCK!” A.J. thinks something must be seriously wrong because Amelia never curses.

“What is it?”

“Well, the thing is, I rather like your brain.”

He laughs at her, and she weeps a little.

“Oh, enough with the tears. I don’t want your pity.”

“I’m not crying for you. I’m crying for me. Do you know how long it took me to find you? Do you know how many awful dates I’ve been on? I can’t”—she is breathless now—“I can’t join Match.com again. I just can’t.”

“Big Bird—always looking ahead.”

“Big Bird. What the . . . ? You can’t introduce a nickname at this point in our relationship!”

“You’ll meet someone. I did.”

“Fuck you. I like you. I’m used to you. You are the one, you *. I can’t meet someone new.”

He kisses her and then she reaches under his hospital gown between his legs and squeezes. “I love having sex with you,” she says. “If you’re a vegetable when this is done, can I still have sex with you?” she asks.

“Sure,” A.J. says.

“And you won’t think less of me?”

“No.” He pauses. “I’m not sure I’m comfortable with the turn this conversation has taken,” he says.

“You knew me four years before you asked me out.”

“True.”

“You were so mean to me the day we met.”

“Also true.”

“I’m so screwed up. How will I ever find someone else?”