The Shop on Blossom Street (Blossom Street #1)(92)

Within five minutes I’d brushed my hair and dabbed my wrists with a lovely French perfume my dad had given me years ago—the one I saved for my most special occasions. On my way out the door, I grabbed a light sweater.

I’d found a corner booth and paid for a pitcher of beer by the time Brad walked into the pub. He glanced around, saw me and then headed toward the booth. He slid in across from me.

Hard as I tried, I couldn’t stop watching him. All of a sudden, my eyes started to fill with tears. I would die of mortification if he noticed. I did everything but dive head-first into my mug of beer in an effort to hide this ridiculous crying jag.

Of course he noticed.

“Lydia, are you crying?”

I nodded and dug frantically in my purse for a tissue. “I am so sorry,” I sobbed, hiccuping in an effort to hold back the tears.

“For crying?”

I nodded, letting my head bob a time or two more than necessary. “For everything. I treated you terribly.”

“Yes, you did.”

“I was so afraid and—”

“You didn’t read my letter.”

“I know.” I paused long enough to blow my nose. “I couldn’t, because I knew if I did, I wouldn’t be able to keep you out of my life. I had to let you go, for your protection and for mine.”

Brad lifted the pitcher and refilled my mug. “I prefer to make my own decisions.”

“I know, but…” All my excuses sounded hollow and insincere now. “Margaret thinks I’m self-absorbed and she’s right. I’m so sorry, Brad, for…everything.”

“That’s what you wanted to tell me? Why you called and asked me to meet you?”

I nodded again. It was what I’d wanted to say, but there were other things, too. My throat seemed to close up, and the silence that fell between us felt utterly unmanageable.

“There’s more.”

Brad looked up from his beer expectantly. He wasn’t making this easy, but then I didn’t deserve that.

“Ever since I met you, since we started seeing each other, I’ve been…happy.”

He shrugged. “You could’ve fooled me.”

“I know…You see, I’ve realized I have a hard time handling life when everything’s going smoothly. I’m not used to being happy and I don’t know how to deal with it. So I do something stupid to mess it up.”

“You figured this out on your own?”

I shook my head. “Margaret helped.” None too gently, either, but he didn’t need to know that. My relationship with my sister was still complicated, but now I knew she cared about me.

“Ah yes, Margaret. Little Ms. Matchmaker.”

“She’s all right.” It surprised me how defensive I felt toward her.

“Yes, she is—and so are you.”

I smiled through my tears. “Thank you.”

He took a deep swallow of beer. “Okay, now that the apology’s out of the way, where does that leave us?”

I didn’t know what to tell him. “Where would you like our relationship to go?” My heart was hammering so loudly, it was nearly impossible to hear my own thoughts.

“In the same direction it was headed until your most recent tests.” His look grew intense as he reached across the table for my hand. “What about you, Lydia? What do you want?”

“I want the entire month wiped from my memory and I want us to go back to the way things were before and…and I want us to be close again.” Then, because he should know, I added, “But it’s important that you understand there are no guarantees.”

“Your sister told me everything.”

“Everything?” Then he knew. “And you still want…”

“I want you more than ever, Lydia, but I don’t want you shoving me out of your life because you think I can’t deal with your illness. Let me make that decision for myself.”

It was hard to give him that control, but I knew he was right. He was asking more of me than he realized.

“I can’t make you any promises,” he continued, “but I can tell you that I care for you a great deal.”

“I care for you, too.”

“That’s a starting point, and where it leads neither of us can know.” He smiled at me with those devilish blue eyes and I understood that Brad Goetz wasn’t going to turn tail and run at the first sign of trouble. He was a man I could trust. A man I could lean on. A man who was my father’s equal in every way.

CHAPTER 45

JACQUELINE DONOVAN

J acqueline knew she should give her son and daughter-in-law time alone with Amelia, but she couldn’t make herself stay away. The baby had filled a deep emotional void in her, one she’d ignored for years. But the love that blossomed in her heart refused to be ignored. Whenever she held Amelia, the ties that bound her to her granddaughter seemed to grow stronger, more constant and enduring.

Amelia was in her arms now as Jacqueline gently rocked her to sleep. She breathed in the baby’s pure scent, and in a rush of nostalgia remembered holding Paul just this way.

“You look so peaceful,” Tammie Lee said, coming into the nursery with a new package of disposable diapers. She set them on the dresser and turned to watch Jacqueline with Amelia.