The Saint (Highland Guard #5)(116)

Their eyes held, the memories flush between them. But she wouldn’t let her desire for him intrude—not this time. “Are you sure about that? It certainly felt like you regretted it the other night.”

“I acted like an arse the other night, Helen. I’m trying to apologize, if you’ll let me.”

“It’s not an apology I want but an explanation. Why did it matter to you so much, Magnus? And why did it upset you to learn that I intended to dissolve my marriage?”

A steel curtain fell down behind his gaze. He turned away harshly. His jaw locked. “I do not wish to discuss this, Helen. I never want to discuss this again. If we are going to have any chance—”

“But don’t you see? If we are ever going to have a chance we have to discuss this. Unless you tell me what it is that haunts you, it will always be between us—he will always be between us.”

For one moment the curtain lifted, and she could see the depth of the anguish churning inside him. But then he shook his head. “I can’t.”

Helen stood up, dusting the sand off her skirts, trying to smother the wave of hurt and disappointment knotting her throat. For three days she’d fought off tears, but they threatened to storm at any moment.

“Wait,” he said, reaching out to catch her hand. “Where are you going? I haven’t finished.”

Helen looked at him, blinking back tears. How could he be so obtuse? Did he not realize how much his refusal hurt her? “What is there left to say?”

He stood up to face her. “Plenty. I’m trying to make this right, Helen. I took your innocence.” He drew a deep breath. “I want to marry you, Helen. I want you to be my wife.”

Her heart stilled. Part of her wanted to cry with joy to finally hear the words she’d so longed for. The other part of her, however, wanted to weep, knowing what had driven them. She knew him too well. “Of course, it’s the only honorable thing to do in the circumstances.”

He frowned, looking at her uncertainly—as if this were some kind of trick question. Perhaps it was. After all these years she finally had what she wanted, but it wasn’t enough.

She wanted more.

But maybe he understood more than she realized. He grabbed her by the shoulders and forced her to look at him. “Aye, it’s the only honorable thing to do, but it’s not the only reason I ask. I love you, Helen. I’ve always loved you. You’re the only woman I’ve ever wanted to marry.”

Helen looked in his eyes and saw the truth. Her heart swelled. Some of her uncertainty began to fade. They would get past this. They would—

Suddenly, they both turned at the sound of what could only be described as a roar of complete rage. “You murderous bastard, don’t touch her!”

Helen’s heart sank as her brother Kenneth came storming toward them.

Seeing his fist pulled back, instinctively, she moved in front of Magnus. “Stop, Kenneth, you don’t understand. He’s asked me to marry him.”

But Magnus was having none of her “protection.” He easily lifted her aside and blocked her as her brother squared off in front of him.

“Marry him?” Kenneth scoffed. “Over my dead body.”

He launched his fist toward Magnus’s face. Magnus blocked the punch. But when Helen lurched forward to try to put herself between them, she distracted Magnus and Kenneth’s second blow found its mark. Magnus pushed her forcibly back. “Stay out of this, Helen.”

The two men exchanged a few more blows. She’d never seen her brother like this. He was known for his hot temper, but this was something more. This was rage and hatred unlike anything she’d ever seen. He looked like he wanted to kill Magnus. This wasn’t just the enmity between their clans at work. “Stop!” she yelled at her brother. “Stop. Why are you doing this?”

Magnus connected with Kenneth’s gut, bending him in two. Or at least Kenneth pretended to be bent in two, because in the next instant he’d brought his fist up under Magnus’s jaw, snapping his head back. “Tell her,” Kenneth sneered, challenging Magnus with his gaze. “Tell her how you killed her husband.”

Helen was so shocked by her brother’s pronouncement, it took her a moment to realize that Magnus had turned a ghastly shade of gray. He’d also stopped defending himself against her brother’s blows. Kenneth’s fists pounded into his jaw and face like a hammer. He was beating him to a pulp and Magnus was letting him. “Fight me back, you bastard!” Kenneth shouted, pummeling him to the ground.

But Magnus wouldn’t. Helen lurched forward again, reaching this time for her brother’s arm. “Stop, Kenneth! You’re going to kill him.”

Kenneth was seething and huffing like an angry dragon. “It’s no more than he deserves.” Behind the rage she could see the anguish in her brother’s gaze. “They found him, Helen. They found Gordon. In the bottom of the tower at Threave, pinned in by rocks, with his throat cut and his face disfigured. One of his own men had killed him.”

Helen felt horror rise at the back of her throat. “There must be some misunderstanding.” She looked at Magnus. He’d managed to get to his feet, but he wouldn’t meet her gaze. “Tell him, Magnus. Tell him it isn’t true.”

“I can’t do that,” he said stonily.

Helen gasped in horror, realizing the truth. This was the dark secret. This was what he’d been hiding from her.